Reaver’s Song

“What is even here?” I asked, peering out the window as the jet descended through wispy clouds and banked slightly, the blue ocean spreading out below it.

“The starting line of my clever plan,” Akira squeezed my hand tightly.

“This clever plan involves going to the sticks of Japan?” What counted as the downtown buildings of the city of Tottori rising up against the southern horizon as the plane banked once more, setting itself onto the glide path to the airport. I could hear the excited whispering and giggling of Dr. Hideki’s children as their home hove into view. The girl, Sakura, was positively bouncing on the seat in anticipation.

“I thought you liked Japan,” Akira stretched languidly.

“I do like Japan,” I replied. “Is it wise to be out and about in…wherever this is, though? Isn’t there someone hunting us or something? That group that blew my apartment up and wrecked all my stuff? Or are we just pretending that never happened because, you know what? It happened. And as much as I want payback, I also don’t want to join my Love Live figures and vibrating butt plugs in the afterlife.” While my sex toys were quickly being re-acquired, the figures and DVDs would take years to get back to their previously lofty state.

“Don’t worry, the Daughters have scrubbed us from the internet and are taking the fight to the Coven so I doubt they’ll be in a position to cause problems anytime soon. Not to mention their home base is through Daisenji so there will be nowhere safer in the world. Wait. You had butt plugs?” I fixed her with a withering gaze.

“I don’t need to be kink shamed by you. But, if we’re so safe why not go to Akihabara or something? Tottori is 6 camels and some sand.”

“Can’t you weeb out in Tottori?”

“I’m an Otaku, not a weeb,” I pointed out.

“What’s the difference?” Akira cocked an eyebrow at me quizzically.

“If you’ve gotta ask, it’s beyond you.”

“I’m new at this,” Akira muttered defensively.

“Don’t worry, baby,” I kissed her cheek supportively. “Mama will teach you all you need to know.”

“You’ll have to wait until later,” Akira giggled. “Tell me more about these butt plugs…”

“Soooo hot!” I whined, emerging from the jet onto the tarmac. The early autumn heat still lingered on the blacktop, coming off in shimmering waves as two cars pulled up beside the small jet.

“Thank you for the ride,” Doctor Hideki smiled broadly, her kids already piling into the first big black SUV.

“Thank you for taking care of my friends,” Akira bowed. We waved as the car set off, vanishing in the distance.

“Friends?” I cocked my eyebrow at her in displeasure.

“Is not a girlfriend a friend?” Akira asked, following me as I climbed into the back seat of the other SUV.

“You’re hemorrhaging points all over the place today,” I shook my head in wonder. “At this rate, mama will be teaching you how to sleep on the couch.”

“Like you’d ever do that!” Akira scoffed. She finally looked over at the catgirl who’d had her hand up since the plane began its descent and sighed. “Yes?” Sayuri looked surprised but recovered quickly.

“Oh! Sayuri wanted to know if she could have the snacks from the plane,” Sayuri moved her foot quickly as the driver closed the door.

“You should have asked while we were on the plane,” Akira scowled, gesturing at the interior of the car for emphasis. I pulled several packets of snacks from the pockets of my skirt and handed them to Sayuri, winking at her conspiratorially. Akira sighed and rolled her eyes dramatically. “There is an order to these things, Sayuri.”

“She had her hand up,” I pointed out.

“Sayuri had her hand up,” the catgirl echoed with a nod, her ears twitching slightly as she daintily tried to open the package the way I’d taught her. Sayuri gave it her best shot for several impotent tries before growing frustrated and tearing the package open with her teeth, elongated canines flashing as she ripped through the plastic. She glanced up sheepishly before shoveling the animal crackers into her mouth, crumbs dropping onto the seat.

“Sayuri likes the Rhinosauceasauruses the best!” She declared with a toothy grin, bits of cookie spilling out of her mouth; plainly unaware they all tasted the same.

“Why are we even here?” I tried asking the question in a different way hoping for an actual answer this time. I stared out the window as the car made its way along the narrow streets of Tottori.

“I won’t have my girlfriend sit around the house all day doing nothing,” Akira lectured me.

“Hey! I don’t need that from you!” I snapped back. “I’m trying to reacclimate myself.”

“We’ve been back for 4 months,” Akira fixed me with a judgy look.

“Some people take longer than others,” I sniffed.

“Even Say- “Akira stared at the catgirl who had opened the window and shoved her head out, the wind blowing her hair and ears back. “What are you doing?”

“What?” Sayuri giggled loudly as the wind caused her lips to vibrate.

“What is she doing?” Akira asked me

“Looks like she’s sticking her head out the window,” I mused sagely, the water bottle I was fiddling with stubbornly refusing to open properly.

“Get your head in,” Akira demanded gruffly, pulling Sayuri back inside the car and closing the window.

“Awww,” the catgirl pouted. “Butts.”

“You’re not a dog,” Akira noted disapprovingly. “Besides, what if someone saw you?”

“They’d just figure she was a cosplayer. Isn’t Japan filled with cosplayers?”

“No, Japan is not filled with cosplayers,” Akira rubbed her temples lightly. “Why would you think that? What the hell does the rest of the world think of us?”

“That Japan has a higher concentration of cosplayers than anywhere else?”

“I’m going to need to go back to work soon for my own sanity,” she declared, leaning back into her seat with a sigh.

“I’d join you, but someone kept me occupied for like a year, so I am currently unemployed. Thank you very much,” I finally got the bottle open and took a sip.

“Which is one of the reasons why we’re here,” Akira declared as the car entered the heart of the city, such as it was.

“Huh?”

“You’ll see,” Akira assured me, patting my hand.

“Oh! Oh!” Sayuri raised her hand. “Sir! Ma’am! Lady! Sir!”

“Look, you don’t have to call me any of that anymore, you know.”

“Pick me!” Sayuri implored, ignoring her.

“Fine, Sayuri, what is it?”

“Oh! Can Sayuri see, too?”

“I have, literally, no idea what you’re saying right now,” Akira stared at the catgirl blankly.

“Well, you said friend Minji will see, can Sayuri see, too?” Sayuri’s heterochromatic eyes filled with excitement.

“Are you in the car?” Sayuri nodded emphatically. “Do you have eyes?” Sayuri’s eyes crossed as if trying to see themselves before nodding. “Then the chances are pretty near 100% you’ll see, too.” Sayuri paused in confusion before turning her head to me for clarification.

“Of course you can see, too, Sayuri,” I assured her. A broad smile passed over her face and she began to hum to herself and excitedly bounce on the seat. “You’re going to have a stroke if you keep that up, you know.” I clicked my tongue at Akira disapprovingly.

“Sorry.” Akira huffed. “I don’t speak cat.”

The car slowed and pulled into the portico of a large stone building which looked very much like a hotel. The four floors of the building had windows spaced evenly, enhancing the impression even further. I stepped out as the driver opened the door and stretched, glancing around. The front of the building had wide glass windows with an ornate glass and steel double door centered on it.

“Is this our hotel?” I asked curiously, glancing around for some indication of what brand of hotel it was. There was, however, no sign or anything of the sort to be found.

“Well…yes and no,” Akira nodded to the driver as she stepped beside me.

“Then I am both happy and sad,” I shrugged, unsure how to answer.

“Can Sayuri run thr- “The catgirl began earnestly.

“No,” Akira and I interrupted her at the same time.

“Aww,” she whined. “Butts.”

“Why does she keep saying that?” Akira glanced up at me in confusion.

“The ‘butts’ thing?” Akira nodded. “That’s my mom’s doing, I’m afraid.”

“Your family’s weird,” Akira shook her head as she walked past me into the building.

“It’s better than the ‘fuckballs’ bit Kittany taught her,” I pointed out following after her.

I stepped through the doors of the building into a vast entry hall decked out in powder blue and silver. A series of huge chandeliers hanging from the ceiling dominated the room, each resembling falling icicles. To the right were a bank of elevators while double flights of stairs with a long marble counter centered between them dominated the wall directly in front of us. To the left a wide doorway gave way to what seemed to be a dining room of some sort. It was, in short, a hotel no one, apparently, worked at.

“Friend Minji!” Sayuri whispered, tugging on the sleeve of my dress to get my attention.

“What is it?”

“I like this place. Can Sayuri explore?” Sayuri’s eyes gleamed at me hopefully.

“Why don’t we hold off on that for a bit, ok?” I patted her hand supportively.

“Aww,” she sagged. “Butts.”

“Miss Suzaki! How was your flight?” A voice asked, belonging to a girl with hair brushing against the base of her neck, purple highlights streaked through. Her belly shirt declared she was “One Bad Bitch” with the picture of what I could only assume was a rabid, frothy female dog on the front. Her skintight jeans hung low on her hips. With a pair of black Converse shoes completing the look. What look it was, I couldn’t guess, but she was definitely worth a glance or four.

“Komari! How are you?” Akira seemed to know her well and I cast a sidelong glance at them as they hugged one another.

“I’m well!” the girl I assumed was named Komari replied.

“And Rei?”

“Oh, she’s back in Tokyo. They’ve got a tour coming up so they’re in the middle of rehearsals. I’ll make it in next week to spend a bit of time with her before they leave.”

“My sister is quite the slave driver,” Akira giggled. “Oh! This is my girlfriend Minji Song, and that’s Sayuri.”

“Fiancé.” I grinned at Komari, taking her hand. “Fiancé.”

“Good to know,” Komari grinned back at me. She stopped dead and stared at Sayuri in awe. “So it’s true?”

“You didn’t think I’d lie about something like that, did you?” Akira puffed up slightly in pride.

“And she’s real?” Komari stepped toward Sayuri in wonder, reaching for her ears. Sayuri glanced at me with some concern, and I shrugged. “Holy fuck! It’s true!” She gasped as Sayuri’s ear twitched slightly at her touch.

“She’s not the only one,” Akira said. “There are dozens. Maybe even hundreds. Many of them scared and alone and homeless.”

“That’s amazeballs,” Komari shook her head. “Anyway!” She tore herself away from Sayuri who glanced at me in confusion and turned back to Akira. “What do you think?” She spread her arms wide to indicate the building.

“It’s not up to me,” Komari shook her head. “It’s up to my fiancé.” She emphasized the word. “Not sure when that happened, but it is what it is, I guess.” Her and Komari both turned back to me.

“Huh?” I blinked at them blankly. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Bring it out!” Komari shouted, her voice echoing through the mostly empty room. Two workers emerged from the doorway leading to the dining room, struggling with something held between them. After some wrong turning and fussing they finally got the sign properly facing us.

“MISS SONG’S HOME FOR WAYWARD KEMONOMIMIS” it said in elegant Kanji. At least, that’s what it looked like it said.

“Impressive, huh?” Komari folded her arms across her chest proudly.

“What the hell does it mean?” I cocked my head sideways, my Kanji still not the best, though my Japanese was much better.

“You like teaching, right?” Akira turned to me.

“Well…yeah,” I shrugged.

“This is your chance to teach, and provide comfort to those who need it,” Akira stepped over and petting Sayuri’s head. “And have some fun and make some money on top of it all.”

“Ok, but what does it mean?” I reiterated.

“You are so dense sometimes,” Akira shook her head. “In Japan alone there are maybe hundreds of Kemonomimis. Nekomimis, Inumimis, all different kinds of girls. Most of them are ostracized from society and by themselves. Most have nowhere to go and no one to teach them or care for them. You and I are going to fix all of that.”

“Huh?” I still had no idea what she was talking about.

“Under the guise of an animal café and restaurant we will find Kemonomimis. We will give them somewhere to belong. Somewhere to work, somewhere to thrive and somewhere safe to live. Here is just the first step! We’ll have more places like this all over Japan soon and all over the world if that’s what it takes. This is your new job.”

“Do you believe this shit?” I looked over at Sayuri with a smirk before realizing I was looking at a Nekomimi in the flesh.

“Well?” Akira moved closer to me, staring up at me, her dark eyes intense. I glanced over at Sayuri who was trying to sound out the words on the sign with no real success, then back at Akira before shrugging.

“Sure,” I agreed. “It sounds like fun.”

“You could have been a bit more enthusiastic,” she mumbled darkly before turning back to Komari. “Done and done. Can you handle the rest of the accommodations?”

“Definitely,” Komari grinned. “Provided the financial terms are satisfactory, of course.”

“Of course,” Akira nodded. “And what about the other thing?” Komari grinned and gestured behind us. I turned to find a small black cat sitting by the door, green eyes wide and staring at Sayuri in wonder and awe. Akira strode over to Sayuri who was still enamored with staring at the chandelier and took her shoulders in her hands, causing Sayuri’s gaze to drop to her while a nervous expression crossed her face.

“Sayuri didn’t do it!” The catgirl declared immediately. I puffed with pride. I had taught her well!

“Do you remember when I first met you?” Akira said seriously.

“Uh…” Sayuri glanced at me for help. I shrugged impotently.

“Do you remember when I promised I’d reunite you with someone?”

“Sora,” Sayuri’s ears drooped.

“Turn around,” Akira said spinning her by the shoulder.

“Sora?” Sayuri whispered, her large eyes blinking incredulously. “SORA!!!” Sayuri cried, rushing toward the cat. The cat shimmered for a second, like a mirage in the sand before vanishing entirely, a small, thin girl taking her place. Her long dark hair fell down her back in waves and her dainty ears perked forward joyfully. She smiled broadly at a surprised Sayuri before rushing into her arms, her tail twitching excitedly. The naked girl folded Sayuri in her embrace and held on tightly, bouncing up and down as she did.

“Sayuri! I’ve missed you so much!” the girl sobbed in joy and relief.

“Sora? You’re a catgirl, too? YAY!” Sayuri marveled before folding her in her own embrace, the two of them were soon bouncing up and down together. “YAY! YAY! YAY!” They both chanted in unison.

“She knows she’s naked, right?” I mentioned to Akira as an aside.

“Weird, I thought Sora was just a normal cat,” Akira shrugged. “And why are you looking?”

“It would be a crime against nature not to,” I answered honestly.

“Sora!” Sayuri sobbed with joy, petting the smaller girl’s head delicately as if afraid she would vanish.

“Sayuri!” Sora sobbed back, burying her face in in the older girl’s ample bosom.

“Sayuri?” I said, slipping my arm around Akira’s waist.

“Y-Yes, friend Minji?” She glanced over at me, tears streaming down her face.

“Welcome to your forever home,” I swept my other arm broadly to indicate the building around us. Sayuri gaped at me in awe, a million emotions aching to burst out at the same time playing across her face.

“S-Sora, too?” She whispered quietly. I nodded and the two catgirls burst into fresh bouts of joyful sobbing interspersed with frantic mewing and erratic purring as their emotions overloaded.

“I think we’ve got the first two recruits for your new endeavor,” Akira folded her arms over her chest in satisfaction.

“Looks like it,” I grinned.

“Well…better you than me,” Akira kissed my cheek sympathetically.

“What the hell does that mean?” I muttered suspiciously.

“Don’t worry! Ash and Moon will be here next week to help! I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Akira ignored me, turning to talk to Komari.

“No, seriously, what the hell is that supposed to mean?” I was now rather concerned. I waited a moment until it became clear she was done talking to me. I had no idea what she was trying to get at, but I had a bad feeling, nonetheless.

“It means you’ve got to get to work, little rabbit,” A smug voice called to me from the doorway behind the workers still holding the heavy sign while they waited for further instructions.

“Jaxxin,” I declared, my eyes narrowing at the small blonde woman standing in the doorway.

“Oh, yeah,” Akira mentioned breezily as if it were an afterthought. “She’s your chef.”

“What?” I gaped at Akira.

“Can you cook?” Akira glanced at me with a smirk.

“I…no,” I sagged in defeat.

“Well, I can’t, I know Ash and Moon can’t so unless you want Sayuri in the kitchen, she’s your chef.”

“Shit,” I groused.

“I can make whatever your heart desires,” Jaxxin grinned at me tauntingly. “But my favorite thing to cook is Civet de Lapin. Have you tried it? It’s delectable.”

“Let me guess, it’s rabbit something,” I sighed.

“How did you know, little rabbit?” Jaxxin spun the chef’s knife she was carrying in a tight, dangerous arc.

“You do know that I’m taller than you, right? If I’m a ‘little rabbit’ that makes you a miniscule sociopath,” I pointed out to her.

“Term of endearment only!” Jaxxin held her hands up in mock surrender. “I liked you so much better as the half-elf.”

“I liked you better when you weren’t around,” I countered. It was going to be a challenge, I decided. A challenge to keep myself from choking her out every single day. I set about with the others, minus the hyperactive cat girls, to work on getting the place ready to open.

“Why did you choose me?” Ashvallen asked, pulling away deftly as I tried to pinch her cheeks and Moon shot me an exasperated glare. Her and Moon had gotten in earlier that morning along with some other “staff member” who was, apparently, not going to be about until later. A week had gone by, and things were slowly beginning to settle down as we worked toward opening. “I’m grateful you did! Just curious.” She raised her hands, slapping my second attempt to pinch her cheeks away distractedly.

“Knock it off, Minji,” Moon chastised me.

“I’ll do what I want,” I muttered defensively, returning to my sandwich. “I’m the older sister, here, you know.” Moon glared at me, and I stuck my tongue out at her.

“Are we still going over this?” Akira sighed irritably.

“You did kill me like 40 times,” I mentioned, trying to keep the meat inside the bread on this “sub” thing Jaxxin had crafted. “And never gave a reason about why us.”

“Why is it you keep inflating the number of times you died?” I grinned at her infuriatingly. “Fine,” Akira shook her head in displeasure. She slipped a piece of lettuce out of her sandwich and a slice of tomato and held them up on edge facing us. “What happens if you were to combine these two things?”

“A prison sentence for committing crimes against nature?” I posited.

“We don’t know, right?” Akira deftly ignored me. “Maybe you get a slice of tomato that is green and leafy. Maybe a piece of lettuce that’s juicy like a tomato. Maybe something else entirely. Who knows?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Ashvallen stared blankly at the lettuce and tomato.

“Are you talking about, like, a GMO thing?” Moon asked. Akira shrugged.

“Kind of, but more like a hybrid,” Akira admitted. “I didn’t have an idea of who I needed. The spell itself chose one from the other world and one from this world based on compatibility. By herself, Ashvallen didn’t have the ability to rapidly heal. Just as without a magical catalyst Minji’s ability was extremely limited. Only by…well,” She jammed the lettuce and tomato together roughly and shoved it back into her sandwich, “, slamming you two together could I get the healing ability I needed.”

“So it was blind fucking luck?” I gaped at her.

“No! I mean…yes, but not entirely,” Akira peppered and salted her sandwich absently. “It’s why I had so many failures. The spell wasn’t perfect. There was a lot of factors involved I couldn’t nail down, but I had a rough target. Mostly.”

“So we were like a Haas Avocado?” I peered at her suspiciously.

“You were,” Akira clarified. “Ashvallen in your body was just you without your healing ability or hyperactive libido.”

“I’m sorry for you,” I laid my hand comfortingly and Ashvallen’s shoulder.

“I have my own libido, thank you very much,” she sniffed before turning to grin at a fiercely blushing Moon.

“Very nice!” I whistled appreciatively. “Also gross, but very nice!”

“Stop playing with your goddamn food and eat so we can see if it goes on the menu!” Jaxxin yelled from the kitchen.

“Ok,” I scowled at the kitchen. “I’ve gotta ask, what the hell is she even doing here, still?” I jabbed my thumb in the direction of the kitchen. “She just sits around most of the time and sharpens the knives. It’s creepy as fuck. Shouldn’t she be in prison or out killing someone or something? I mean, preferably the former.”

“I can hear you, you know!” Jaxxin called.

“I don’t care!” I shouted back irritably.

“Well, the daughters cleared her, and she can cook so why not?” Akira shrugged, gesturing toward the sandwich.

“She tried to kill me,” I pointed out.

“If we disqualified everyone who tried to kill you, we’d have no candidates left,” Akira grinned at me.

“She has a point, dear,” Meri giggled in my mind.

“I don’t need your input. Don’t you have something better to do than eavesdrop?” I thought irritably.

“I’m dead, dear,” Meri pointed out needlessly. “Dropping eaves is about all I have left to do.”

“Well, she’s your relative,” I thought back, eyes traveling to Ashvallen. “Why don’t you go poking about in her mind?”

“It doesn’t work that way,” Meri chuckled. “I made the bargain with you. Besides, I quite like poking through your thoughts. Some of them are very depraved, but over-all, you’re fun.”

“Well, don’t go poking around in the depraved parts, then,” I scowled as I slathered kewpie mayonnaise on my sandwich and searched for a place to bite.

“The whole thing is filled with depraved parts,” Meri pointed out. “It’s like tip toeing through a recently fertilized garden. You’re bound to hit some feces due to the sheer quantity of it spread about.”

“Did you just call me a shit for brains?” I gasped at her mentally.

“Noooo!” Meri giggled again. “I simply said there is a lot of poop in your mind.”

“That’s the same goddamn thing!” I scowled.

“It’s this sort of lively conversation that makes you fun, dear.” Meri was plainly enjoying herself.

“What’s up, ladies?” A voice called from the front door. I glanced over to find a Korean woman immaculately dressed and supremely well-coiffed stride in, her leather briefcase as neat and orderly as her tailored suit.

“Eun-Ha?” I gaped. “What are you doing here?”

“She’s our new head of marketing and client engagement,” Akira said between dainty bites of her massive sandwich.

“I need your help in the kitchen little rabbit!” Jaxxin called. I pointedly ignored her.

“How’d Akira talk you out of your cushy teaching job?” I gaped, standing quickly, and moving to fold her in a hug.

“It’s a material world and she offered the most material,” Eun-Ha shrugged, hugging me tightly back. “Besides, from what I gathered I will have young minds to shape and mold as we go forward.”

“It’s so great to see you but I was so pissed at you for the deer thing!” I exclaimed, holding her at arm’s length and staring at her, almost afraid she wasn’t real.

“I have no clue what you’re talking about,” Eun-Ha smiled at me blankly. “But it’s great seeing you, too! I see you finally got the harem you always wanted!”

“Harem?” Akira asked curtly.

“Whaaa? No! She’s confused! It’s the heat!” I smiled reassuringly at Akira and was greeted by a suspicious scowl. I turned back to Eun-Ha and shook my head imperceptibly, making a faint cutting gesture across my throat. “Uhn uhn.” I whispered.

“Oh! Let me tell you all about her harem fantasies!” Eun-Ha grinned broadly, moving toward the table. “Oooh! Is that a sandwich? I’m starving!”

“Yes,” Akira smiled warmly at Eun-Ha, gesturing to an empty chair. “Please enlighten us as to these ‘harem fantasies.’ You can have Minji’s sandwich. She won’t be needing it.” Never mind, I thought miserably. I actually liked her better with the vampire deer.

“Come to my lair, little rabbit,” Jaxxin emerged from the kitchen and beckoned to me coyly with one finger. “Let me show you what deliciousness we can create together.”

“What the hell is even happening right now?” I shook my head. For the first time since coming back home, I missed the other world.

“Hurry! Hurry!” Jaxxin entreated me, patting her leg like she was calling to a dog.

“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered. “Keep your fucking panties on.” With a shake of my head and desperate bid to ignore the salacious tales Eun-Ha was, sadly, not holding back on spilling, I followed the former assassin into my new life.