Canon Fodder

“Magic is life,” Cath said. He was the man/frog/thing I had saved from the Cthulhu world. Apparently some famous sorcerer he had helped revolutionize the mana capacitors, allowing the creation of the Techwands. 

 

“Through a series of mental exercises we are taught to picture what you want. With enough practice and mental fortitude you can make whatever you can dream up. Food, water, a chair, anything. The only requirement is to understand it. The more complicated it is, the harder it is to create. For now, simply stick to simple items like bread and water.”

 

“And how is this leading to evil wizards?” I asked, still unable to grasp why they needed a hero. 

 

“We call them Antillaries,” Cath said with a frown. The ageless frogman had become more used to me the last few days. Allowing me to live at his house for a time. I was ready to be off the planet already. The bed provided to me was a large squishy lily pad that was more than a little wet. Impossible to sleep on I regretted not demanding the Capsule House from main Weston. 

 

He was probably living it up in a warm bed. With a ready and willing Hancock to have sex with him at the drop of a hat. My original joy of being on my own had disappeared over the last few months. With nothing but a cat for company. I decided the bachelor life wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be. 

 

“Right, so evil wizards. Why the hell is creating stuff so bad?”

 

“Conjuration is the most basic forms of magic. As more people are able to force mana to do their bidding, they have been turning to the side of evil. For personal gain rather than the good of Miankind.” He said the words as if I should be surprised. I pretended to be aghast. “Yes, they have been creating currency, dropping the value of real currency. Casting curses. I’ve even heard of them killing others that are in their way.”

 

“How disgusting,” I said, shaking my head sadly. “So what kind of magic tools you got? Any way to protect against magic? Maybe some grimoires or armor enchanted with protection magic.”

 

“We have all that,” Cath said, a little surprised. “Are you sure your people don’t have magic?”

 

“Not that I know of. We are just very imaginative,” I admitted. “Give me the rundown on all of it. Also since I’m supposed to help you guys. I want to have my own version of all of it. I’ll need a Techwand and all that. Copies of all your grimoires. The especially fancy stuff. This is on the kingdom’s dime so spare no expense.”  

 

Using magic on the world was quite simple. With the Techwands I was able to make real food. It was bland and ugly, but food nonetheless. Water was easier for me to make, but that was probably because I knew it so well. Cool and refreshing, I grabbed a couple extra wands and threw them in my Inventory. 

 

After that I stole all of Cath’s grimoires. They talked about magic circles, centering and synching to mana in the air, powering up mana, certain established spells, and to my great interest, portals. In the Invincible World most travel was done by flying through space, which took weeks to get from planet to planet. If I was led to this world, perhaps it was to get portals. Only time would tell.

 

Along with attack gear I was supplied with some magic armor as well, but to my disappointment I received a notification when I tried to put it in my Inventory. 

 

Blocked

Inventory is not a high enough Tier to store this

quality of item

 

The Techwands were simple things used for everyday work. This armor was able to draw in mana, making it stronger. I took a set and tried it on, but it was too bulky for me to use. I decided to drop it. A few other items they supplied me were unable to go in my Inventory either, so I was left with the wands and grimoires. 

 

As my frog-mentor kept on with the explanations I couldn’t help but ask the question that had been bothering me. “Cath, I still don’t get why you opened a portal to the world I was on,” I admitted. “What was the point of that?”

 

“The Viltrumite herself,” he admitted. “Before her appearance we had never imagined that there were other intelligent life forms out in the universe. She has opened our eyes to the many possibilities. One of the many magic arrays we utilize allow us to open portals across the globe, like the one we used to find you. When our psychics began getting a distress beacon from the world we found you on, they came with instructions to expand portals to span vast distances. Thanks to that it has opened up so much for our arrays. I have even been working on a method to hone in on planets that are livable by our standards.”

“Really?” I asked, a wide smile on my lips. “How uh, close are you to perfecting it?” 

 

“Not far off,” he admitted. His facial expressions were still unreadable but his Haki was as clear as day. He was telling the truth. “With the data I collected with the first long-distance portal I expect to make a portable array, and a safety latch to verify the atmosphere is breathable and temperature is within our range of livability. A few days at most…” he eyed me up and down, “if I could focus on it.”

“You should start focusing,” I said. 

“Why is that?” Cath asked, confused.

I looked around. “Tabi, you mind making sure that…woman isn’t close?” She got up without a word. Going up the stairs to use the exit hatch at the top of the dome building. I didn’t know how she opened it, but I guessed her tails were very articulate. Just in case I extended the range of my Haki out as far as I could. Anissa was a sun in a sea of campfires, she was easy to sense when she was close. 

 

“Let me tell you a little about the Viltrumites…” I explained the way the universe really worked. Cath didn’t take the news very well. It was hard to hear that your people weren’t overly important in the universe, but he took the information well. 

 

“You can’t be serious,” he said, sitting on his knees he stared up at me as I continued to pace. 

 

“I am. We have a Viltrumite on our planet. For years he has been pretending to be some benevolent protector. In truth he has been studying our people and learning what our capabilities are. If they judge us worthy of being taken over, great, only a little death. If we are useless, they don’t have a problem killing us all.” 

 

“Is that why you escaped your planet?” He asked, his big eyes wider somehow. 

“No, again, I was pulled to that planet. If I hadn’t been taken from my home, I would probably be helping bring our own Viltrumite down.” 

“Is it possible to kill her?” He asked. “Are you strong enough?” 

“What have you seen of the Viltrumite Anissa?” 

 

“She has helped take care of a few outlier problems,” Cath said. “From what I have heard, she follows our laws. Not killing indiscriminately like you make it sound.”

“That’s not surprising,” I said. “She wants to be seen as a great asset to your people. Trust me though. Her plan is world domination.” 

“How can I believe just your words?” Cath asked. “She has been here-”

“You know what? You’re right, why believe me?” I asked. “But she is the single strongest person on this planet. Could literally kill everyone in the matter of weeks or months. My question is, why risk it? I would prefer to be prepared.” He quieted with that. 

 

“Wh-what should we do?” Cath asked, hesitant, but open to suggestions. 

 

“There is a group in the universe. They are called the Coalition of Planets,” I said. I was pretty sure that was their name. The acronym was COP, so it sounded right. “They are an alliance of planets and people that are focused on fighting against the Viltrumite push to control the universe. You said that your people aren’t anywhere near space travel, but if we could use your method to jump planets, maybe we could eventually find them.”

“That…sounds like it would take a long time,” he said.

“Yes, but if you could add to your array a way to find planets with…sentient life? Maybe we could narrow the planet jumps down,” I said. I was grasping at straws, but it was worth a shot. 

 

“That…could be doable,” he said, his eyes taking on a clouded look. “Distance doesn’t matter. Perhaps forcing the portal to scan planets and center the circle on the species with the most brain activity we could cut down-” 

“Great, nerd out some other time,” I said. “For now, I need you to talk to your king.” 

“The king?” He asked. 

“Yes, he needs to know the true danger of Anissa. This Coalition of Planets isn’t going to let you join without your ruler’s say so. And the main goal of joining this Coalition would be potentially learning how they travel vast distances through space. You would need goods and your own technology to trade for that. Also you need a way home. This could be a long trek, through many worlds. You need to be able to come back, don’t you? I’ll need to go with you as well, of course.”

“You? Why?” He asked. 

Because I don’t want to be your imprisoned hero. “Do you really think it’s normal for me to go to a planet I’ve never been to and we somehow speak the same language? I have a skill to talk to any species,” I said. Which was true. But also I was pretty sure everyone spoke the same language in a lazy way of writing. “This Coalition won’t be able to understand you without me.” 

“True,” Cath said. I could feel his excitement and nervousness. “When should-” He stopped as I raised my hand. I felt the immense Spiritual Energy enter my zone of Observation. Moving quickly she was heading right for us. 

“Anissa is coming here, and I doubt it’s to talk to you,” I said. Tabi ran down the stairs, but could tell I already sensed her. “Talk to your king while I try to distract her.” Cath froze up, his body rigid as he processed the words. I walked toward the door, praying she would use it and not bust in to kick my ass. I was going to have to use a World Escape if she went for the kill. 

 

I opened the door as she landed on the road outside. The shorter Viltrumite woman gave me a wide smile. Her Haki and eyes told a different story though. She was picturing killing me. 

 

“Hello, Anissa,” I said, putting on my best smile. Walking up to her without hesitation I held my heart steady. “What can I do for you?”

 

“Oh I was in the neighborhood,” Anissa said. “You and I didn’t get much time to talk earlier. I’m stuck here for a few weeks. I have to admit it’s nice to meet someone with my…attributes.” 

 

We were both white, dark hair, bipedal, 2 arms, mostly symmetrical, we were a match made in the heavens. Except for that fact she was willing to eradicate any and everyone I ever knew if I pissed her off. 

 

“Oh yeah? These frogs don’t do it for you?” I forced a laugh, turning I began walking down the street. She matched my pace and direction. Tabi decided to stay behind. I could summon her if I really needed help. She could keep an eye on Cath and push him to go talk to the king. 

 

“Sorry, I don’t know much about Viltrumites. My people still don’t know for sure we aren’t alone in the universe. Do all Viltrumites look like you? Sorry, I just don’t see much of a difference between our species,” I said. 

 

Thanks to the Invincible comic I knew that we had our own deadly neighborhood Omni-Man, but the general population didn’t know he was an alien. I knew because my dad worked with him as a Guardian of the Globe. I figured ignorance was my best source of action with Anissa. 

 

“It’s not as rare as you would think,” Anissa admitted. “Most all intelligent species I have met have 2 arms and 2 legs. Whatever it is, that seems to be the most important aspect.”

“So no head is fine?” I asked, pretending to be excited by the news. 

 

“Yep. I met a species whose brain was in their torso.”

 

“Fancy, you’ve been all over then?” I asked. 

 

“From one side of the galaxy to the other,” she said with a nod. Our stroll slow as we talked it felt kind of like a date. Only on a date I was ready to defend myself and fight to the death if it turned that way. I actually wanted to spar her, but I didn’t doubt she would ‘accidentally’ kill me. 

 

“What did the Mians say you were here for?” I asked, trying to think back. “I think they said you were part of a universal betterment committee. Traveling to different worlds to help ensure that they are safe and have the ability to prosper. Is that what you are doing here as well?”

“Something like that,” she said, her Energy hardly hiding her true intent. “On Viltrum we have it all figured out. The universe isn’t quite ready for our solution to the big questions, but someday we hope to turn everyone to our way of thinking.” 

“Which is?” 

“Oh I don’t think you’re quite ready for that,” she said. “I’m sure your planet is still full of savages. Is this planet a lot like yours?”

“No, we don’t believe in magic,” I admitted. “We are pretty much savages. Some space flight. But not too much.”

 

“That’s the level of people we like to help out,” she admitted. “Maybe when I get back I can have someone look at coming to your planet. If there isn’t one already anyway.”

 

“If there was, wouldn’t they be letting everyone know, like you?” I asked. Doing my best to pretend to be dumb about the whole situation in the universe. 

 

“Not necessarily. Depends on the Viltrumite agent. Do you have any people on your world that help keep people safe?”

 

“We do. We call them super heroes. They fly around doing good. My dad is a super hero.”

 

“Oh yeah? Is he strong?” 

 

“Probably the strongest human,” I admitted. “Heroes like him try to keep their normal everyday identities a secret. With lots of threats out there we tend to hide behind masks. On my planet we don’t show our true strength. We don’t want to let our foes guess what our goals are. What we are actually capable of should always be kept close to the vest. Thus the strong ones hide their identities so that those in our lives who can’t defend themselves aren’t threatened.” I smiled wide, trying to pretend I didn’t know that was exactly what she was doing. “What about you? Have a secret identity?”

“Ha, you have no idea,” she said, flashing me a pearly white smile. “That sounds dumb though. If you’re strong, why not let the world know who you are?” 

 

“I asked that same question once,” I said. Trying to think back. “There was a hero, Batman, or Spiderman, or All Might, I can’t remember. They said it was important to wear masks or keep your identity secret, because then the hero could be anyone. When some kid sees a hero saving the lives of a group of people, they can picture their dad or mom as that hero. That sense of impossible strength is important for any kid and adult to have when someone is going up against a danger they couldn’t fathom facing. You can’t win every fight. Defeat every villain. At one point you will need help, and it is better to have a faceless hero save you than someone you know. Because the costume implies invincibility. Once you know who they are, and that they are simply mortal, that fear creeps back. The bubble pops, and when they fail, you despair.” 

 

That sounded like something one of those guys said. Maybe I was pulling crap out of my ass though, I wasn’t sure. 

 

“Still sounds dumb,” Anissa said. She quieted, both of us simply walking in a straight line. 

 

As we walked I felt a little lust leak from the woman. Mixed in with the murderous rage I began to panic. Unwilling to break my dry streak with someone that could tear me to shreds I was about to fart to ruin her mood when someone yelled our way. 

 

“Lady Anissa!” One of the guards yelled, running up to us. He carried a trident as he closed the distance. “There was an earthquake some miles away. There is a fear of a tsunami. Would you be able to assist?”

Anissa blew a raspberry but nodded. “Want to come with?” She asked. 

 

“Sure,” I said. “But I can’t fly.” 

 

“I’ll carry you,” she said, floating in the air she reached down and picked me up. Cursing my inability to say no she lifted off the ground easily. Dragging me along with her I prayed this would give Cath enough time to talk to the king. Anissa sped up, but I held onto her hand easily.

 

She knew the planet well. Going to a teleportation circle without issue we were teleported to a new location and kept flying. She kept the speed low enough so we could talk without yelling over the noise of wind. 

 

“Tell me about the place you were summoned to before coming here,” she said.

“Sure, a few months ago…” I told her the story. She laughed at my struggle to get used to the gravity. Keeping details about my powers to a minimum I asked her about more of the amazing things she had seen. Black holes, white dwarfs, meteors crashing into planets, all of it sounded amazing to see as she described them. All the while her murderous rage lowered, but still smoldered deep inside, waiting to come out at a moment’s notice. 

 

When we got to the groupings of islands that were at risk of a tsunami we helped Mians get to shelters. People panicking, children crying, it was pure chaos as we helped. All the while Anissa and I stuck together. Helping one another keep people calm. Despite murder in her heart she was good at putting the mask up while she helped people. I couldn’t help but wonder why the hell she bothered with this. She had to know that at any time she would be told to kill all of them. 

But she kept on. Her mask always up as she carried a small child to a shelter. When the tsunami did come it drowned the grouping of islands. Anissa carried me while flying, watching the islands become flooded. 

 

As the waters slowly receded she asked, “Beautiful isn’t it?” I looked up at her confused. “The cleansing of the island. Washing away everything unimportant to the people. Allowing them to rebuild and become stronger. Better equipped to face the next challenge and the one after that.”

I nodded, hearing her veiled threats. “You could say that,” I said. We dropped down when the water was mostly back in the ocean. Helping people out of the shelter, fixing this or that issue, and doing our best to be heroes.