READ WEBNOVEL Chapter 115: Dagger of the Mind
“It seems Zoya is awake,” Yi murmured and brought Yue to a large balcony high in the towers of the Azure Dragon Island.
“Zoya?” Yue asked.
“The first Black Tortoise incarnation. Now that she’s here we can continue the ceremony.” Yi explained and smiled.
“Ceremony?” Yue looked at Yi with a confused expression.
“You’re about to become fully yourself. All of the missing pieces of your memories as God are going to return to you and so will your power.” Yi explained and Yue looked increasingly more horrified as he kept listening.
“W-Wait… I didn’t agree to that…” Yue murmured and stopped walking.
“I thought you wanted to be stronger? To know the truth?” Yi asked, not turning around to face Yue as he continued walking forward into the balcony.
“But having all ‘my’ memories back means I’m going to change.
Becoming ‘fully myself’ means I’m going to change…” Yue murmured. He knew it was a selfish thought but he couldn’t imagine not being himself. He couldn’t imagine people’s opinions of him changing when he changed. He wanted things to change in the outside world but he always wanted to remain as he was.
“...It’s still you though.” Yi seemed to fully understand Yue’s thoughts but he still offered a separate viewpoint.
“But you’re “me”, all 6 of you are “still me” but we’re all very different.” Yue argued.
“Wu told me not to swallow the pearl because knowledge is a burden, being a god changes you, and I didn’t want to change.” Yue continued.
“The second you reject this power you’re just going to be another ‘incarnation’ just like the rest of us. The cycle will continue again and you’re just going to be ‘Qi’ until you’re reborn again and have to make the same exact choice again.” Yi said, still not turning to face Yue.
“I’m fine with that,” Yue murmured.
“No. You’re not. Haven’t you heard? Being an incarnation is just spending life waiting to–no, hoping to– die.” Yi murmured, staring up at the sky, magic energy was settling above the island and the same could be seen in Vermillion bird island and Black tortoise island.
“... Are you fine with not being able to defeat Hundun?” A new voice suddenly joined in, it was Liu.
“...You know Hundun?” Yue asked.
“The organization of Hundun is from Wu’s generation. And Hundun itself is as old as time. It flows around here sometimes, waiting for you as it swallows up other islands.” Yi explained.
“I passed on years earlier than other incarnations because I couldn’t defeat Hundun,” Liu explained.
Yue’s brows furrowed a bit.
“Hundun–the being, will not disappear. It is a part of the universe, the antithesis to the four and their entire existence but if you gain your true power then there is no need to fear it. Sure maybe you could defeat Hundun the organization with your current power but it will just start up again soon afterward. None of the 4 can even touch the real Hundun if they don’t have their true power.” Yi explained.
“And Based on current events…It seems your friends will be Hundun’s next targets and if you don’t have this power… well you can assume what will happen.” Liu added.
—
“Hao Yu, you’re not going to Azure Dragon Island?” Giang asked as they were all flown to Vermillion Bird Island. Huy carried Mai and Loc carried both Giang and Hao Yu.
“I can’t go if Yu Zhe doesn’t come to find me and he seems to have already started everything.” Hao Yu pointed toward Azure Dragon Island and the settling clouds of magical energy above the island.
They arrived at the ceremony site for Vermillion Bird. Their ceremonial spot was like a large candle holder. A large gold pillar that raised a flat surface far above anything else on the island.
Loc wasted no time in telling Huy the blunt truth.
“You’re going to change. A lot. This is like eating the fruit of flames in the temple but it’s significantly stronger and only ‘the real one’ can do it.” Loc explained.
“You might not like it, at all, but If you really want to defeat Hundun, and other threats that come from this realm this is the only way.”
—-
“The dungeons are going to get harder. Dungeons that weak people can’t even enter will begin appearing as well. Dungeons that indiscriminately swallow people, dungeons that control people into entering them. Hundun isn’t the only threat in the world y’know? And This power is all you’ve been missing.”
Zoya didn’t mention anything about changing.
“I lived for around 300 years. Every other incarnation after me only lived around 30 years, that’s why you emerged much faster than the other 3. Because I was around for so long I also know a lot more than the first incarnations of the other 3.” Zoya explained, “They are all waiting for me to take the lead with this so we should start quickly.”
“I will completely cease to be ‘human’ with this power right?” Elena asked.
“You were never human, to begin with.”
“You know what I mean by that,” Elena said, not appreciating the response.
“Yes, I do know what you mean by that and my answer does not differ,” Zoya said and grinned.
Elena sighed, It's not like she had much of a choice regardless.
—
Viktor was floating in a sea of depravity, he was coming in and out consciousness, his body going from deep under the waters to back up where his eyes could just barely open and see– more depravity. Every time he was down under he would hear whispers, see things, remember things, and every time he peeked above he was reminded that this was not himself. The moments above the water were brief but under it felt like centuries. Almost always it was a distorted memory of Yue that brought him back to the surface. The surface was only slightly better than under the water though. Rather than the dark evil thoughts that were whispered into him underwater, he could only hear Yue’s voice whispering sweet nothings into him above water. In the first instance of this, he was almost fully deluded into thinking Yue was there.
His golden eyes peeked open and he gasped for breath, attempting to clear his head as the water tried to pull him back in. He almost pushed his whole head above the water when black locks of hair dropped down in front of him.
“Viktor. I’m here.”
A hand touched his chin, pulling him to look up. Just a glance at those ethereal blue-green eyes made him lose his train of thought. The sea pulled him back down with more strength than ever before as if trying to keep Viktor away from Yue and Yue reached out to grab him with a panicked look but failed.
Viktor was pulled down under again but he immediately fought back harder and harder, ignoring every single illusion thrown at him and every single hateful thing spoke in his father’s voice that he heard. He reached a place above the sea again and Yue was right there as if only seconds had passed.
Joy filled him completely as he saw Yue once again. Yue pulled him out of the water, much more than Viktor could on his own, and hugged him tightly.
“I’m sorry I left you, I couldn’t think for a while. I looked for you the second I came to.” Yue whispered and pecked Viktor’s lips.
Viktor tried to move but the second his limbs left the water and Yue touched them he felt such relief that his body turned to jelly.
“Let’s go over there, okay?” Yue seemed to understand that Viktor couldn't move and pointed to a land bridge directly behind him. Viktor saw this and noticed how the depravity all avoided Yue.
They managed to reach the land, Yue carried him out laid him to rest, using magic to try and lift the depravity on him but to no avail. Viktor stared at him for a while, coughing a little, so much negative energy had entered his body so he couldn’t speak easily.
Nothing was working to help his depravity, his limbs were stained pitch black, and the places where Yue healed barely lightened. Yue was patient though and continued to heal him with a smile.
“It’ll be okay,” Yue said and kissed Viktor’s forehead.
Viktor continued to stare and then looked away from Yue and sighed.
“You aren’t Yue.” His voice was hoarse.
“You’re just a dagger of the mind… trying to break me down so I’ll fall down faster.”
As he said this ‘Yue’s’ expression got dark and the land completely disappeared. Viktor was dragged down underwater again.
The Illusionary Yue came back every time he peeked above water and acted like it hadn’t been found out but Viktor felt nothing as he looked at it. The more he watched it trying to covet his heart the more obvious it became that it wasn’t Yue.
The Illusion was completely Identical, it looked like Yue, it sounded like Yue, kissed him like Yue the one thing that made Viktor sure it wasn’t Yue was…
He didn’t cry.
He knew Yue well enough by now. He knew that Yue cried when he was angry, or frustrated, especially when it came to something like his health. Yue wouldn’t be able to watch his magic fail to help Viktor without starting to cry. But the illusion continued smiling. Even if he was trying to keep Viktor calm he wouldn’t be able to smile in a situation like this. He would rather turn away and make sure Viktor couldn’t see him crying than try and smile at him for reassurance.
Viktor sighed, this cycle was almost endless.
—
Andrei’s illusions had only gotten more and more heartwrenching as he fell in the same cycle as Viktor. He didn’t see illusion when he reached the surface though, he only saw the island, and far ahead of him he saw a creature made out of depravity facing away from him.
He didn’t pay attention to it, he just tried to pull himself out of the water. He was quickly pulled back and he saw more of a juxtaposition of Viktor’s childhood sweetness and the bitter corruption that came to him with his adolescence.
He found a way to keep himself above the water for a while and he caught his breath. He had changed locations and now he could see the monstrous face of the monster ahead of him. He stared at it with confusion, it didn’t look at him, it just continued looking down at the water in front of it.
After a few minutes, it fished something out, something that Andrei Immediately recognized as Viktor. He was shocked and silent for a while but as he saw the monster open its mouth wide as if to swallow Viktor he immediately screamed, “NO!”
The monster failed though, Viktor was quickly pulled back into the water and it was time to wait again. Andrei didn’t know whether to try and bear it and dip back underwater or to wait and see if Viktor would come back up but soon enough Viktor dipped back up and the same thing happened again. Andrei tried his best to quickly move forward to where Viktor kept popping up but his body moved slowly and the pulling got even stronger now that he saw Viktor.
Frustration filled him and he just tried to call out for Viktor, hoping he’d hear him but the monster noticed him. Instead of going after Andrei though, it simply moved to cover Viktor’s ears every time he popped up.
—
“Black Tortoise and Vermilion Bird seem to have made up their minds already,” Yi explained and Pointed toward the other island and how a glowing golden pillar of light seemed to stream from them.
Yue didn’t know what to do still but he felt a little bit more inclined to do it now that Huy and Elena also did it. He hated this pressure to do all of this but he also hated the thought of being the one to mess everything up by not taking this power.
‘...Defeating Hundun depends on it…’ He thought to himself.
‘If Hundun is defeated then…everyone will be safe…”
He stepped into the center of the balcony and the light appeared on Azure Dragon Island as well.
He was lifted into the air by the light. He felt completely weightless for a moment, like nothing in the world could touch him or burden him. But seconds later his head felt like it was splitting open. Across the islands, the same thing was happening to Elena and Huy. For Huy it was almost as Painful as it was for Yue but for Elena, it was a dull pain. She already knew so much about the world so the knowledge she gained wasn’t as painful.
For all of them, however, it was burdening weight to have such knowledge. Yue could only imagine this is how Viktor felt. Everywhere he looked there was a constant flow of information and even when he closed his eyes he could take a rest. Everything was flowing into him at once. The memories of every Azure Dragon incarnation one by one and their feelings as they went through their lives. The knowledge was overwhelming all on its own but soon afterward came the power. The islands in the endless space around the three of them were in constant movement as they gained power.
Their muscles ached and their bodies felt like they were breaking apart. A human form was not meant for such power so their bodies were undergoing a complete reconstruction as they floated.
Mai couldn’t bear to watch. It wasn’t like Huy was crying out in pain but she could almost tell it was painful.
No one knew what to expect from this, even Zoya.
Yue was about to scream out in pain when suddenly the pain was completely gone and felt nothing but calm. He was confused… unsure of what it all meant. He actually didn’t feel different at all. His vision was back to normal, it was like nothing had changed. He looked around and found a blue-green hanfu overcoat covering his shoulders. He was confused for a second but something in his head told him what it was. He transformed into his dragon form purely on a whim and when he transformed back, his clothes were perfectly fine. The hanfu seemed to allow him to transform much more easily than before. He noticed that the glowing of his body didn’t stop and he and the others had moved a lot of the islands around them.
Between Black tortoise island and Azure Dragon island, there was an island covered in depravity that made Yue and another glowing form which Yue could only assume was Elena fly toward it.
As they approached the island the depravity immediately dissipated and the light dried up the black seas almost entirely.
“Viktor.” Yue somehow wasn’t surprised to see him there but he quickly flew down toward him. Completely purifying him as he got close.
–
Viktor didn’t react first, thinking it was another illusion but as he felt warmth spreading across him and light against his eyelids he was confused and opened his eyes.
He was completely breathless as he looked at him.