The Decade of Deep Love

Chapter 50: Not Nightmare, But Reality.

Translator: Claire.KK

However, the sweetness of recollection should be shared by both lovers; one alone would feel nothing but lonely. Zhishu He’s heart began to ache in a sudden, as if he was feeling the same pain for some other people.

On January 2nd 2015, the first heavy snow came nine months earlier than that in 2014. Wenxu Jiang fell down the slippery steps and nearly had a bad sprain on the ankle as he walked out of the hospital, if not held by a timely hand of Jingwen Zhang.

Firmly, Wenxu Jiang grasped a few pieces of crumpled thin paper in his hand.

It was a copy of disease inspection report, which took Jingwen Zhang lots of efforts to find. The black and white characters in the report completely destroyed Wenxu Jiang’s last hope.

Holding the report closely to his chest, Wenxu Jiang broke away from Jingwen Zhang’s grasp and walked ahead. Jiang was then in a spiritless and absent-minded state. Jingwen Zhang tried to persuade him but only watched his tall figure suddenly kneel on the ground, leaving a sharp mark in the endless whiteness.

Wenxu Jiang’s eyes were all red, but he didn’t seem to cry or stand up, but started to tear the report into pieces with all his strength, as if he was fighting against something dark and evil. However, he lost. Staring at the scraps of paper, Wenxu Jiang showed weakness and sadness in his eyes. He looked up at his friend Zhang who was also in complicated feeling, and forced a smile to Zhang.

Jiang said, “I probably had a terrible dream just now. Give me a hand; I need to eat dumplings with him. At each of the first snow, we used to eat dumplings together.”

Jingwen Zhang couldn’t help but burst into tears; he signed, “Wenxu…You can’t lie to yourself.”

The retribution did come, and Wenxu Jiang indeed couldn’t lie to himself. His mind was clear, the very first time so clear in the past several years. He could clearly recall the snowy night when Zhishu He called him in a careful and expectant voice, “We always eat dumplings when it snows. I’ll make some dumplings for you”, Zhishu He added, “I miss you; can you come back this evening?” Then He continued, “Where is your ring? … Let it be. Forget about it, it’s not a big deal.”

Wenxu Jiang couldn’t really imagine how Zhishu He withstood such a disease alone and waited for him alone. Zhishu He was the only one whom Wenxu Jiang cared and loved more than anyone else. Wenxu Jiang loved Zhishu more than he could.

Wenxu Jiang slowly raised his two hands, which were all red because of the cold wind. It was the two hands that used to be handed with other pair, used to hug the one he loved, and used to gently caress and passionately fondle the body; then things changed, it was the two hands slapping in He’s face, touching others’ body, and receiving a notice of pause after all these absurd things in the end: several pieces of disease report.

Jingwen Zhang angrily pulled Wenxu Jiang up from the ground, feeling sorry for him but couldn’t help criticizing, “Don’t make a scene of yourself here. You should have expected the result when you did it at the very first place. Even if he hadn’t have a disease like that, how long would he continue to endure your disloyalty?”

Zhishu He was not of such a disposition to be easily offended by one accident and hence to blame the rest of the world for no reason. Zhishu He would never stop listening, if he was hurt or betrayed for just one time. However, the most horrible fact about his disposition was that Zhishu He, who was usually too casual to have any bottom line and too tolerant to have any limit, would instead leave no chance for explanation, if he was tired of endless cheating.

Even worse, Wenxu Jiang gave no support for Zhishu He at his most vulnerable state, but only hurt and unconcern.

The recollection was only left with pains once the two separated, even if they had been together for over ten years of deep affection.

Wenxu Jiang began to find where Zhishu He was. Wenxu Jiang only wanted to find him and take him home, to love him more than ever, and to cure him whatever the cost. Jiang even spare no more attention to the company’s business.

But the first thing occurred to him in his search was to the relationship between Ziyu Ai and Ziqian Ai.