Still, Wait For Me

Hearing someone calmly and even merrily narrate how she had pushed her other ‘self’ down from a tall building, even personally going downstairs to inspect the body’s condition...

This didn’t feel good. Xu Tingsheng’s expression was rather grim.

“Do you find it very brutal?” Looking at him, Zhou Yuandai said, “First, you have to understand something. Her existence was the greatest threat to me, posing the greatest risk of exposing my secret. Also, I had no way to be sure if her continued existence would affect mine after that point in time had already passed.”

Zhou Yuandai reached out and twisted off a branch of the decayed, yellowish potted plant in front of her as she continued, “Decisively taking care of someone who is detrimental and useless to you, easily and directly controlling those you want, not being restricted by those crude, useless feelings...when we are different from the norm, watching over humankind like gods, living is actually as simple as that.”

People who do not believe in and do not need feelings generally seem rather more powerful and difficult to deal with.

Xu Tingsheng and Zhou Yuandai had two completely conflicting worldviews and sets of values. This had determined that he would be restricted, virtually being at a disadvantage at every turn.

“Do you know what is the most laughable thing I see on you?” Zhou Yuandai asked.

“What?” Xu Tingsheng looked up.

“It’s how you treat that little girl...you actually did so much to get on her good side, restrained yourself so...and in the end, what did you get for it? A breakup, solitude and pain...how could this sort of laughable thing ever happen to a god?”

“The foreknowledge from rebirth can indeed help us to grasp and control many things. Yet, feelings are not one of them,” Xu Tingsheng spoke of his insights from having been reborn.

Zhou Yuandai seemed like she had heard the funniest story in the world as she laughed loudly before continuing, “Since feelings cannot be controlled, why do you still want them? ...People are all very slutty things, you know? If you treat them too well, what you get is your outcome. Why not be a villain from the get-go? That way, every bit of your benignness afterwards will be felt multifold by her.”

“Things can actually be very simple from the start. If you really want her...we have at least a thousand simple yet effective methods that we can use, such as threatening her with her parents or directly gaining control over her...and yet you chose the most foolish method, requiring the most effort, wasting countless valuable time, yet still possibly losing her in the end.”

Xu Tingsheng took out a wrinkled cigarette box, taking out a cigarette and lighting it.

A short silence.

“Do you miss her? I can get someone to fetch her right now...as long as you follow me, abide by my style,” Zhou Yuandai looked fervently at Xu Tingsheng’s eyes, “You want it? Come, we can change to another style...she will belong to you forever. She will never dare to leave you. She will be a plaything of yours, always.”

Zhou Yuandai had the tongue of a devil on the face of a ‘god’.

Xu Tingsheng looked calmly and resolutely into her eyes, “Don’t touch her. Otherwise, everything will end.”

This was the only thing which Xu Tingsheng could use to threaten Zhou Yuandai...his life.

Zhou Yuandai’s expression stiffened...because she knew that Xu Tingsheng was capable of it.

Actually, it appeared that it was precisely because Xu Tingsheng had too many emotional attachments that Zhou Yuandai was able to threaten him...

Why then, in that case, had she tried to ‘turn’ him like this?

The answer was very simple. An extremely selfish person was actually easier to control. One need only threaten him with his own self.

This sort of person could sacrifice everything else for the sake of their own survival and enjoyment.

In contrast, Xu Tingsheng who could threaten to die for the sake of others was the greatest trouble that was difficult to control...he would have more courage and more expectations, want to struggle more.

The strange atmosphere persisted for a long time.

“How was your previous life? Was it good?” It was still Zhou Yuandai who broke the silence first.

“It wasn’t very good,” Xu Tingsheng answered simply and paused, adding, “It wasn’t very terrible either.”

“Hmm?” Zhou Yuandai seemed rather curious.

“There were happy times, but bad times too...just like for normal people,” Xu Tingsheng explained.

“Oh,” Zhou Yuandai nodded, “I hate myself from my previous life.”

From this point on, for the next hour and more, Xu Tingsheng listened to Zhou Yuandai narrating her previous life in detail, all the way till she leapt off from the top of that tall building.

In this story, the young female teacher named Zhou Yuandai who had gone to Libei Senior High to work after graduation fell madly in love with a married man with a ten-year-old daughter from their daily interactions. That person was the Language teacher at the same school as her. The man’s name was Cen Xishan.

Zhou Yuandai exerted many means to get close to him. The two also became pretty good friends.

She confessed.

Cen Xishan rejected her, joking that he had sadly already married and had a child long ago.

Zhou Yuandai had tried to give up on him for a time. Still, when she came to know that Cen Xishan’s wife was a village woman who had never even finished primary school and only knew how to do housework and take care of her kid at home, her thoughts grew active again.

Once, there was a tour and then a dinner party for the teachers. Cen Xishan got drunk. Under Zhou Yuandai’s deliberate scheming, the two spent the night on the same bed.

Crying, begging, threatening, frightening, false pregnancy...with that night as the excuse, Zhou Yuandai exerted all means and finally forced Cen Xishan to go to a private school in Guangdong with her with going to Shanghai to earn money as an excuse...

The two were in a foreign land together.

“After learning of this matter, my parents felt that I had caused them to lose face. They cut off all ties with me. I didn’t care. At that time, I felt that just having him was enough for me.”

“I treated him very well. I did all I could to treat him well. He was like my emperor. In the process, I was just like a pitiful little dog wagging its tail, just to beg him to reciprocate some feelings.”

“Gradually, I found that that still wasn’t enough. So, I began to work hard to prove to him how outstanding I was.”

“First, I exerted all means to become a minor higher-up at that private school. I came to know many people through this...after obtaining stable connections, I decided to resign and start a business...while that period of time was very tough, I really earnt a lot of money...”

“After earning the money, I bought a house for him, and also a car, imported clothes, watches...”

“I gave my best to him.”

“Yet, coming back from a business trip one day...I discovered that he had already sold everything I’d given him and left. Not even leaving behind a single sentence, a single word.”

“I sat alone on a rooftop for the whole of that night, thinking about many things.”

“In the end, I discovered that as compared to me hating him, it was actually me myself whom I hated more...that lowly, laughable me.”

“So, I leapt off from that rooftop the next morning.”

Zhou Yuandai who had committed suicide had been miraculously reborn, reborn in another woman. Then, she had discovered that various things about that woman, including how cultured she was, how she lived her life, even her personality and pursuits were very similar, very similar to Cen Xishan’s wife in her previous life.

They were alike to the point that even their features were a bit similar. Also, both of them had a beautiful, adorable daughter.

Zhou Yuandai had been incomparably disgusted by this. So, she was first and foremost certain that she was definitely not willing to be that kind of woman. And when choosing who to become, a thought had suddenly arisen...she had chosen to become herself again, Zhou Yuandai.

Still, she wanted to be an all new Zhou Yuandai.

This thought caused her to be crazed, fervent, unable to free herself from it.

All she had done afterwards was for the sake of making this a reality...

And so, she had become an all new Zhou Yuandai, living a crazed second life.