Chapter Thirty Five – Regrets All Around
I stared down at Sayuri’s shivering form and tried to think of something clever to do to save her life. What did they do in all of those anime I’d watched? I searched my memory for some sort of insight I could use in this situation and came to the painful realization that my life as an otaku had not prepared me in the least for this sort of thing.
It wasn’t like we could get her a shot or take her to an emergency room or anything. Even if they had such a thing in this world, they’d most likely just cut you up to see how you worked or something. “Do no harm” seemed laughable given what I’d observed in this place.
Maybe it would help if I prayed to whatever god happened to be nearby at the moment. But what kind of gods did they even have? I, honestly, had no idea. Besides, whatever god would be hanging around a dead Elven fortress probably wasn’t very good at their job since obviously they’d been no help in keeping the previous residents alive. No, I decided, that sort of god could not be trusted with something of this importance. What other options were there? I mean, we had a healer and were completely helpless.
“This magic is something I’ve never even seen before,” Sascha shook her head and traced the shape of the wound on Sayuri’s shoulder. “I’ve seen most kinds of wounds war can leave and poisons that would kill you immediately. This is…something else entirely.”
“It’s ancient Elven magic,” Carrisyn smoothed Sayuri’s hair gently. “The revenant, and now Ashvallen positively reek of it.”
“Well, if I have ancient Elven magic, I’ll do something,” I decided with no basis for any hope I’d be able to do anything or even any idea what to do. But I knew I had to at least try to do something.
“No,” Carrisyn firmly shook her head. “I warned you before about using your magic. A warning you didn’t heed, might I add. We don’t even know what happened with the revenant, yet. We don’t know what using that magic did to you. It could kill you or change you irrevocably. No.”
“It hasn’t killed me yet,” I argued. “I took care of the revenant. I’ll help Sayuri.”
“How are you going to do that?” Carrisyn snapped. “Do you even know how you ‘took care’ of it? Do you have any clue what you’re doing? You’re playing around with forces and powers and secrets that are best left dead and buried along with the corpses of the people in this tomb.”
“They don’t seem to be quite so dead and buried, do they?” I shot back. “If I can help Sayuri I’m going to.”
“No, you’re not!” Carrisyn retorted angrily. “I am not going to risk you and everything we’re working on to have you run wild like a kid with a flamethrower in a nitro glycerin factory.”
“What the hell are we even doing this for if we all don’t make it back?” my voice rose angrily. I understood what Carrisyn was saying but she had to understand I would not sit idly by and let Sayuri die.
“This is too fucking dangerous to do without at least figuring out what you’re even doing in the first place and trying to mitigate what danger we can!” Carrisyn yelled back angrily, fists clenched at her side, tears springing to her eyes.
“There’s no time for that,” I declared flatly, kneeling beside Sayuri.
“I can’t let you do this!” Carrisyn insisted again, grabbing at my hand.
“Then try to stop me.” I took Sayuri’s hands in mine and closed my eyes, listening to the sounds around me.
I felt Sayuri’s pulse, weak and distant through her skin beneath my fingers. I felt the cold hard stone beneath my knees where I knelt. A stale but chill breeze blew up from the gaping wound in the floor the revenant had fallen through, brushing against my skin, causing goosebumps to spring up. I heard the faint groan of stone as it continued its long slow journey to dust. I could hear Carrisyn’s voice, but it faded away gradually, as if coming through a string phone shouted from the house next door.
Then the voices began to whisper to me. Softly at first. Mere tricks of the dry breeze perhaps. Gradually, though, they strengthened. A thousand or more. Soft, brash, mocking, angry, fearful and most of all, familiar. I felt a warmth spring from my chest and gradually spread through me. A warmth both comforting and draining at the same time. A give and take. Slowly then faster and fast I seemed to be falling.
My eyes opened and I was in a vast chamber. Soft light filtered through the open doors; a fragrant breeze brushed aside the finely crafted curtains. I glanced around the chamber to find a large, soft bed dominating the center of the room. Fine furnishings decorated the walls and floor, their workmanship extraordinary. This room, though, was not what I was here to see. I turned from the bed and walked through the open door into a vast garden.
Cherry trees spread overhead, the pink flowers adorning their branches fluttering gently to the ground as the end of spring drew near. A carpet of the petals already lay on the grass. I hurried beneath the spreading branches and further on toward a pond at the far end of the garden. A figure stood by the motionless water; her lithe, majestic form clothed in nearly see-through garments of the finest fabrics. Her long blonde hair was pulled back in a delicate braid which fell down her statuesque back like a waterfall of gold.
“This place is calming, don’t you think?” Her voice was like the gentle wind on a warm spring day. “It’s good to see you daughter of my daughter.”
“Huh?” I was taken aback slightly. “What do you mean?”
“Before I died, I sent my daughter to safety. Or” she shook her head with a rueful smile,” what I thought was safety. You are her shame and fear and regret for you are her daughter.” This was Ashvallen’s grandmother? This was the last queen of the Elves?
“At least you would be if you were you. I don’t recognize your soul, but I certainly recognize your face.” She stepped toward me, her face nearly a mirror of my own, though slightly less angular, her pointed ear tips where they peeked through her hair more pronounced.
“I need your help,” I managed. I didn’t have time for family reunions. Especially with dead relatives standing around ponds.
“Again?”
“It was you that helped me with the revenant,” I said, realization dawning on me.
“Ah,” she sighed and closed her eyes for a moment sadly. “Faelar Naexirym. His guilt over what was done could not be assuaged. Even in death.”
“Faelar Naexirym?” I cocked my head to the side. The Ri? Oh! I thought. The original one, not the demon.
“I see you know what the demon did. To Faelar and to the rest of us as well,” the woman shook her head. “Truly an ignominious end. But no worse than we deserved for failing to protect my people, I suppose. Still, what is past is past.”
“The revenant did something to my friend.” I blurted out. “She’s dying.”
“Do you know what hell lays within one who loves life and the glory of the natural world when they become abominations to that same world?” The queen asked. “It is that hell and poison of the soul Faelar has passed to your friend.”
“Can you cure it?” I asked desperately.
“Of course I have the power to do so,” the queen pursed her lips. “Or would have had were I not mere bones, now.”
“So the you here is…what? A spirit? A ghost? Something like that?” This was probably far beyond my meager understanding. I’d watched the ghost hunter shows on TV. Or, well, I’d watched one episode of one show. It was very banal, and I’d not finished it, but I figured I’d read enough manga about ghosts I could probably grasp that bit at least.
“Hmmm,” she thought for a moment. “Even were you the daughter of my daughter you are too far removed from your heritage to fully understand, I suppose. Think of it this way. A life is a whole. A million emeralds all melded together to form one complete jewel. When an elf dies, those emeralds are scattered to the winds and carried away to the Goddess to be remade or discarded as she deems fit. The me you see is a large fragment of the whole, yet a fragment nonetheless.”
“Uh…ok,” I muttered, nodding my head to indicate I understood. Honestly, I had no idea what she was talking about, but time was wasting so I felt it best to just nod and agree and speed the process along as best I could. “So…you can help then. Right?”
“Not in my present form, I’m afraid,” she chuckled, her laughter like the sound of a spring brook. “You see, I have regrets even more potent than those of Faelar Naexirym.”
“So you’re going to turn into a revenant thing, too?” I scowled, fingers playing along the hilts of my daggers. “I’m not afraid of you.”
“You are an adorable thing!” The queen giggled again. “I hope my grand daughter is as lovely as you are! But, to answer your question, no. I am not. I cannot assuage my regret with useless rage. I can, however, seek redemption with your help. And, in return, I can help you as well.”
“O…k?” I kept my fingers on my daggers. Now things had switched from a ghost story to a mob movie, I thought. She seemed one step away from making me an offer I couldn’t refuse.
“I also need what you seek. The end of Ancil Rhade,” she said, a look of intense anger flaring up briefly in her eyes. I nodded intensely, not for the life of me remembering who that was for a moment but trying to fake it until I could make it.
“Oh! The King guy!” I finally blurted out when my mind had picked the name out of my memory.
“He came to us years ago.” Her voice was still quiet and regal, but a hard edge had slipped in. A dangerous edge. “He knew of the trouble we’d been having with the Kingdoms to the south. Of the encroachment on our lands and the skirmishes against our frontier fortresses. He promised peace if we but provided him and his troops training and equipment. He swore friendship if we would but help.
“We kept our end of the bargain, and he repaid our friendship with war and death. He used our training and equipment to slaughter us. In the end to his unnatural reign of blood our goals align. If you allow me to help end the betrayer I will help your friend,” she finished, staring at me.
“Sooo…you want to possess me or something?” I shuddered when I thought about fiery Carrisyn running after me in the Tower of the Moon.
“No! No! Nothing like that!” she chuckled, the hard look in her eyes softening. “Think of me as a mere passenger. I will lend you my still formidable power and in return I ask you to use that power to help end him. Allow me to look upon the ashes of his bones and see the end of his power to bring horror and death upon what few of my people remain. Allow my reign to have meant something other than devastation and enslavement.”
“You promise you won’t make me go on a killing spree?” I asked, not having many options but still after whatever promises I could get.
“You will scarcely know I’m there,” the queen’s head nodded briefly.
“If it saves Sayuri, that’s…fine. But no fiery aura of death!” I warned her.
“I promise,” the queen chuckled again. “Are you ready?” I took a deep breath and nodded.
A moment later I found myself in what seemed like a vast field of dying wheat, the stalks bent and blackened. I glanced behind me to see a city in the distance, it’s shining spires and towers glinting in the dying sunlight. I turned back around toward distant mountains and heard soft crying. I moved toward the sound curiously, finally topping a rolling hill. Below me black flames licked skyward, burning the wheat as it rushed onward. A small figure huddled at the bottom of the hill, a tiny, shrinking patch of flowers surrounding it.
“Mommy! Daddy! Sayuri is frightened! Please help her!” The figure wailed, her white hair glinting dully in the combined light of the dying sun and onrushing flames. I rushed forward; my hand outstretched. Within moments I reached the fire and was past. I spoke words I didn’t know as I ran, the fires fading and dying behind me, vanishing without a trace. Flowers erupted from the burnt wheat, rising like a shimmering white wave through the hills. I reached the small figure and scooped her tiny form up in my arms, holding her tightly. Her small body trembled in my grasp and her tears fell onto my shoulder as I comforted her.
“It’s ok!” I soothed. “You’re ok, Sayuri! I’m here!” The little girl looked up at me after a long moment, her heterochromatic eyes blinking in wonder.
“F-Friend Ashvallen?” She stammered. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to save you,” I held her tight in my arms and smiled.