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Chapter 214 214:Behind The Mask
His eyes might look blank and indifferent but Sophia can see plenty of worry about him.
His hands were cold.
And the hands which had always been steady seemed to be trembling softly.
Yes, his fingers were cold and shaking violently.
"Sophia."
She turned to look at Leon whose expression darkened a lot.
"As much as I like to kill dirty assholes, I don't like seeing people death uselessly."
"Is that it?"Sophia gaze sharpened as she stared at Leon making him flinch back.
"Is that the reason you come here? Just to save an acquaintance or someone you know from the side."Sophia's voice became hoarse and louder as she confronted Leon.
From the moment she met him, she had never seen any emotion in those gazes.
His face would be smiling but his eyes won't.
His face would be relaxing but his eyes weren't.
Except for indifference and coldness, she had never seen any emotion in those eyes. All those casual jokes, funny talks, and happy moments, all of those were acts he used to mask himself.
From inside, he looked dead. Deep beyond those steady eyes, all Sophia could see was an empty desolate void that was just living like passing time.
Except for being cold and a little bit angry, she had never seen any genuine reaction.
He just lives his life doing tasks as if he were doing just to pass the time while trying to cover himself in a shell.
And she was sick of it and she couldn't let this go
If she just let him go like this, he would just remain dead inside.
"Leon, why don't you just be honest? I like your direct personality but when it comes to things like why do you always hide? Why Leon?"
"Is it because I am a nuisance or is it because I am just a random passing person? If things stay like this, is there any meaning at all for you to come here?"
Sophia raised her hand to grab Leon's collar and screamed.
"Look into my eyes and tell me, why are you here? What is the reason you barge in alone? Am I so pathetic that you can't even share your feelings?"
"Even when I was surrounded I fought with all my might and took down dozens of Kings. I even pushed down two Martial Emperors to retreat."
"Tell me…."Her voice became hoarse as she spoke louder and louder with a flustered expression yet her crimson eyes were staring straight into Leon's dark abyssal gaze without flinching.
" What do I need to do to prove that I am worthy enough to share your heart?"
"Do you want me to die to prove my sincer.."
"Shut up!"Leon screamed, closing Sophia's lips.
"You are an annoying woman, a very annoying one but...."
"I like your annoyingness..."Leon muttered, mustering his courage.
"You won't understand. How painful it is to be lonely. You won't understand. It's not about having no one, it never was; rather it's about having many but not being able to connect with them for fear of losing them."
"When you walk on the street and see smiling faces of everyone mingling around.Some with their parents, some with their friends some with their girlfriends and wife. Meanwhile, you just cover your face in a good walk aimlessly gazing at other people's happy faces and wondering what crime you committed to have no one by your side."
Raising his left hand, Leon pointed at his head.
His lips quivered and his brows twitched as an inexplicable sharp stabbing feeling erupted in his heart.
"You will hear a voice in your head repeatedly telling you that you don't deserve to be happy, you don't deserve to be with someone. In fact, you are incapable of being loved."
"You are just not cut to be happy."
Sophia choked on hearing this. Her eyes widened as the revelation along with a voice filled with pain crashed onto her.
'Suffocating…'
It was truly suffocating to the point that she found it hard to breathe.
"And more than that I am afraid to become too attached and see you die. People may say that we will fight with destiny. We will fight to be together but the truth is we never know what is in it for us. We are just harmless puppets dancing on the strings of fate that can crush us the moment we want to do so."
That is what happened.
2 women who loved him died right before his eyes.
The pain that he felt wasn't something he could describe. The longing eyes and the smile with which they died without any resentment still haunt his eyes.
Some of whom he saved fell desperately for him and wanted to be with him even if it meant death but Leon didn't have the strength to recuperate their love and left behind.
It was haunting and exhausting to the point that he felt as if it was a curse. Sometimes he wonders why he needs to kill scum.
Can't he just lead a normal life?
But then as he looks around he knows the answer.
Because if he doesn't, no one else is going to do that.
If he doesn't kill scum, there would be more like him and he doesn't want anyone to suffer the same haunting feeling he did.
"I haven't taken a sip of water and haven't taken a breath properly. All of my mind was occupied by you. I have been thinking about the worst outcome."
Leon moved his hands and held Sophia's cheek.
His dark eyes met with her crimson eyes.
"I don't know if I truly love you, but I care for you. I truly care to the point that I want to marry you and only then I can love you to the point that I won't even hesitate to go against the world and god for you. I might end up dying but I won't hesitate to go against everyone who tried to separate us."
Leon squeezed his lips putting a lip to smile but his eyes seemed to be bleeding with an ephemeral desire to cry.
"So, do you know how it feels when the person you genuinely care for has been gone missing for several days, and that too by one of the heinous criminals?"
Sophia's eyes became moist seeing Leon's expression.
And yes, it was genuine...
It was a genuine point that she felt her heart throb and burst in pain.
Sophia wiped her tears and shook her hands.
"I don't know how that feels but I know one thing..."Sophia then pulled Leon's collar and pressed his lips.
"That I love you and want to be with you."