Modern Awakening - A cultivation, LitRPG, apocalyptic novel

A being's essence was their most quintessential existential trace. It had no proper form and occupied no space, yet it did exist in Space, and a Realizator could touch it. Strong Realizators could even manipulate it to a small degree, though not in any way that was harmful to the target. S-ranks, or Ascenders, could supposedly do great wonders with one's essence, or so the Doombringer had heard rumors about.

Some considered a being's essence some sort of metaphysical ID Card or spiritual DNA. It was also an anchor to Reality, a fingerprint that confirmed someone existed.

More importantly, one's essence also contained everything one had ever been and was, meaning it could be used to return anyone to life or to heal someone whose injuries were supposedly beyond hope, like soul injuries. You only needed enough power. For instance, if the Immortal Emperor had been an Ascender in the Eternal Empire, he could've healed Shen using his essence regardless of any ability dealing with souls. Well, he might also have needed the proper technique, but the idea was that dealing with the essence superseded most barriers.

On the other hand, one's essence being so critical also meant that if someone's essence was gone, there was no saving them. Reverting time in a location wouldn't cause someone's essence to reappear, no matter how strong you were. Everyone's essence instantly dissipated upon death unless exceptional circumstances surrounded their departure.

The centrality of essence for someone's existence was one of the most fundamental and inalienable rules of all Reality.

It was also seen in another matter: the most significant difference between a being from Reality and a non-being from the Void was that the latter had no essence. The Void could mimic and fake an essence in many ways, but no forgery could bypass an Ascender's focused senses. Most fake essences couldn't fool even a Realizator.

It was impossible to damage a being's essence. You could destroy it if you pressured it beyond its breaking point, but not hurt it.

Impossible to damage also meant it was incorruptible—or so the Doombringer's intel claimed. That was incorrect. The Ghost Doctor had attached Shen's True Boundlessness to his essence—which he later swapped for his Will—without his permission, showing enough power could bypass any protection. In fact, Shen took that as an argument that supported the idea that there was something above a Divine Mandatary; after all, a Mandatary was still incapable of using their Authority to directly kill anyone. Enough power should be able to go around that rule.

Still, Shen believed some of that intel was correct. The Ghost Doctor was evidently someone with a lot of power. From E'livia's tales, she had treated the Gardener, an S-rank, a Universal Warden, like a weakling. The Doctor couldn't be used as a standard of power. In most cases, one's essence should be impossible to damage. At the very least, the one corrupting it should have unimaginable power and be trying to do so.

Shen only threw his essence at the Heavens because he was betting that the Heavens would kill him instead of corrupting him.

Shen's essence was the best weapon he could use against the Heavens. It was the foundation of his One Self, his entire history, and the weight of everything he had ever been, felt, and gone through.

The latter was critical. The Doombringer had barely revealed that a Severing wasn't absolute because one's essence was the very thing that kept an Idealist still connected to Reality. So, one's essence couldn't be Severed; not if one wanted to survive. There was no existence beyond Reality; to Sever one's essence from it was to Void oneself. Since there was still a connection and one's past was in one's essence, one's Severed past connections also existed through anyone's essence, in a way.

Therefore, Shen was also throwing the weight of said connections against the True Heavens—and he had dealt with some damn strong people in the Alliance.

It wasn't lost to Shen how similar one's essence was to one's foundations. The Doombringer's information contained nothing about the latter. Still, Shen guessed a foundation was a sort of mirrored image of one's essence or maybe even a more physical representation of part of it. One's essence was much more than their foundation, but everything a foundation was could be linked to one's essence. Strengthening either evidently meant strengthening the other.

The next logical step was concluding that blood essence was connected to one's foundation, despite the slightly misleading name. Using blood essence made techniques stronger, and a drop of blood essence had different uses, all connected to the being it had come from—to their spiritual DNA. It was also linked to their power at the time, evidencing it had more to do with foundation than the all-encompassing essence; a drop from someone at the Overlord level differed from when they had been at the Conceptualizer level. Losing a drop of blood essence weakened someone for a while, likely because it damaged their foundation. The foundation healed over time because it was somehow nurtured by one's essence, which couldn't be dama

A being's Space, Change, and Will didn't exist in their essence. Not directly. They were there because everything a person was was there, but they were no more than faint shadows. Likewise, their Time, Sapience, and Energy were there, yet not.

In other words, you could throw your essence against the Heavens and your willpower for an extra boost.

That's what Shen was doing. He wished he could throw qi, too, but Absolute Horizon was a technique that merely allowed him to use his willpower to affect Reality. Not that he was using the ability as it was supposed to be used. He should use it to affect the things around him, to attack and defend, not to try to alter the rules of Reality itself.

The moment Shen's Will touched the Low Heavens, he knew he had done something he wasn't supposed to. That he was way too weak to withstand throwing only his willpower against the Heavens. That his mind would crumble if he insisted. A mere Overlord should have nowhere enough willpower to resist the impact. Even if an Overlord were exceptional and did have such willpower—which wasn't Shen's case—their foundations wouldn't be strong enough to withstand the backslash.

So, he added his essence to the equation and hoped for the best—though, to be honest, he hoped that the thing he was trying to accomplish would be feasible at the Low Heavens' level.

Shen just wanted E'livia to survive by connecting with his current self. He wasn't trying to change the whole holin species. He wasn't trying to make her able to connect with any other person weaker than her. It was a one-on-one thing. Punctual. It didn't even need to work outside the Shaft; it was okay for her to die if either of them left the Shaft. It was also temporary; he would undoubtedly master his Laws within the year, and what he was doing would stop mattering.

So, Shen hoped altering the rules of the Shaft's Linked Low Heavens would be enough. It wasn't. His willpower went through the Low Heavens as if they were empty air, and the local Reality didn't change. He was surprised at how weak the Low Heavens were, but it made sense; after all, Ascenders could force the Low Heavens to accept their Realization. The Low Heavens would've crushed Shen's willpower but couldn't stop his essence.

Still, Shen had been confident that, at worst, the change he desired should be at the High Heavens level. He didn't need all of Reality to accept his temporary workaround. Why would it be connected to the True Heavens?

He was glad when the High Heavens resisted his Will. It probably meant he was right: the change was at the multiverse level. He was prepared for a battle of attrition.

Then, the High Heavens parted, and Shen's Will went through unhindered—straight at the True Heavens.

That's when he felt the total weight of his insignificance once again. The last time had been when the Heavens filled him with power to kill Valentina.

The True Heavens were made of the unconsciousness of every living being in existence in all multiverses plus the reminiscent Sapience of the True Axioms that defined everything. Although the trillions of beings connected to the Low Heavens were too weak to stop Shen, the countless beings connected to the True Heavens were different. There was no piercing that barrier with his pitiful willpower and essence. There was no making even a scratch on it. Shen's Will struck it like a crystal ball hitting a steel block. His Will and mind would've shattered if they weren't connected to his essence.

An essence that was coming right after,

Shen knew, he was sure, he would die once he threw it against the True Heavens. He kept his course anyway. Shen's essence reached the True Heavens...

...and stopped.

There was no dramatic event. No grand effects. His essence wasn't damaged beyond its breaking point. It simply stopped. It met a resistance it could do nothing against. It was like a candle flame trying to melt ice-cold titanium. There was no reaction. The titanium generated more coldness than the flame could counter.

Shen's essence just stood there, touching the True Heavens, wanting to change it but incapable of even acknowledging itself.

Disbelief became an overwhelming feeling of impotence. His worst fears came true: he could do nothing without heavenly talent. He had always been a useless but privileged boy, and it hadn't changed. That was all he amounted to.

A small part of him claimed it was ridiculous for him to feel unworthy because he couldn't change Reality itself at the Overlord level. He told that part to shut up. Someone better than him, with all the advantages he had had, would've found a way to already be S-rank. His weakness and uselessness were undeniable.

E'livia would die because of him.

He pulled back. Shen's essence had never physically left his One Self, but it had run some metaphysical distance that was now negated. He instantly found himself back in his room. E'livia was still being unmade.

Failure lowered his willpower, and his mastered Laws warped his mind. He tried to fight back, but after the recent shock, it was a losing fight. He wasn't immune to the weight of self-disappointment.

The seconds stretched as he focused on E'livia for as long as he could, etching the moment in his memory.

"I love you," she whispered before her head started disintegrating.

"I—" Shen started but was interrupted by a massive hand made of pure Axioms that formed around E'livia and clenched.

What remained of her became an unrecognizable mess.

Shen didn't even react at first. He just stared at it in disbelief for a moment, while the Axiom-hand faded away. Then, he understood the Divine Mandatary had killed E'livia, and his world was tinted red with absolute and overwhelming fury.

"Her essence is with me," a whisper claimed by his ears.

The newfound hope for reuniting with her in the future only served to fuel his shame and anger. The Mandatary grabbed E'livia's essence and used it to manipulate Shen into coming and fighting him with his all. There would be no quarters, only victory or defeat—or giving up on E'livia.

Shen had to be thankful to the asshole who had just killed his woman before him.

He roared in anger and anguish, but it was short-lived. His mind was overwhelmed by Shaft, True Boundlessness, Extremity, Stream, and Gentle Breeze. His sense of self was twisted. Barely enough remained for him to recall he had to work on becoming the de-facto master of his Laws.

"Focus!" a male voice yelled from nearby. The Doombringer. "You used a forbidden technique! Deploy your domain and kill everyone I point at!"

Shen didn't react.

There wasn't enough ability to reason in his mind for him to work with anyone. His failure still crushed him. Realizing his weakness threatened to unmake himself because he had just recognized he existed as anathema to his Will of Absolute Power.

Shen's weakness had been the downfall of everyone who cared about him. His mother had died because of him when he was a baby. His father had died because he was a weak cripple. E'livia was now gone. Liya, Alicia, Shai, and Luthdel were lucky Shen hadn't stayed around them longer, or they would've suffered a similar fate.

Shen fully internalized, truly comprehended for the first time, how pathetic he was. He had already intellectually understood that he always survived because of unfair advantages or because people meddled in his favor. But this? This was as if raw truth punched him in the face. He had made the Doombringer break the rules of the Shaft but was allowed to survive in the hopes that his anger would fuel his strength enough to entertain someone bored—and his subsequent failure would mean E'livia's ultimate demise. He was no more than a failed experiment, but people still died for him, while others wanted to see how far he could reach.

Shen hated himself.

Suddenly, a high-tech tentacle monster materialized behind him. The tentacles were already around Shen, trying to crush him to death like the Axiom-hand had done to E'livia. Octo, one of Cylek's Hegemons, had come for him now that E'livia was gone and the Doombringer was... elsewhere. Shen hadn't cared to keep track of the half-titan.

Shen would love nothing more than to embrace death and take a final rest from his useless existence that only made others suffer for him. Alas, E'livia's life depended on him, and he had to at least try to save her. That meant surviving long enough to grow powerful to challenge the Divine Mandatary.

So, he first preserved his already lowered willpower: he let go of any attempt to reign his mastered Laws in for now. Then, he deployed his domain to maximum range, so everyone would know he meant business, no matter whose interests it hurt; he was not in the mood to play games. Lastly, he took Un'Re out of himself.

Shen would show his foes the full weight of all his anger, frustrations, and mourning.

For E'livia.