Chapter 195 - Nothing's Worth Losing Ying (1)
Lin Meirong wasn't sure if her fatigue was just an after-effect of her pregnancy and labor. A month after she gave birth to her daughter, she had left the capital to start a new life in a smaller city within the country, she went as far as altering her looks for people not to recognize her.
What Li Xiuying had done had completely blocked her chances of a comeback, so she had to resort to moving away, away from those attacks targeting her.
However, ever since she gave birth, she noticed that her health was starting to deteriorate. She couldn't keep down the meals she'd eaten and was starting to rapidly lose weight. At first, she attributed it to her postpartum condition, but when it persisted, Lin Meirong started to wonder if there was something wrong with her.
Waiting for her turn at the local community hospital near her new place, Lin Meirong looked around and covered half of her face using a scarf around her neck. She wasn't sure what to expect right now.
She couldn't keep her part-time jobs as she kept on fainting at work. It also didn't help that Mu Jianyu had also cut off all the financial support she was receiving from the moment she signed away the custody of her daughter.
Now, she was just waiting for the results of the lab tests that she underwent earlier. She struggled to get comfortable but gave up on trying when it was obvious that whatever painkiller she'd taken earlier wasn't strong enough to ease the pain on her stomach.
"Miss Lin?"
Lin Meirong snapped out of her thoughts and stood up, following the nurse to the consultation room. She realized then that she'd been going to the hospital more since she got pregnant.
The doctor looked perplexed and Lin Meirong's worries increased. She had a bad feeling about this. Her heart rate picked up as she stared at the doctor with unease.
"Please, doctor. What is it?" She asked.
"Miss Lin, we picked something up that doesn't quite make sense." The doctor paused, her jaws hardening as she looked at Lin Meirong. "You'll need to go for scans."
Lin Meirong frowned. This didn't make sense to her at all.
"Scans? Scans for what?"
"We're still not completely sure yet Miss Lin, but please allow us to do our job and we'll try our best to get the right answers for you."
Lin Meirong nodded and let the nurse help her sit in a wheelchair before she was wheeled to the next building. When they entered the building, a cold shiver ran down her spine as she read the label of the department she was wheeled into.
Oncology.
The realization of what could be wrong with her washed through her as tidal waves and tears flowed from her eyes. She couldn't believe that fate would fuck her life like this.
'No, please, not this. Anything but this.' She cried to herself.
This wasn't the first time she'd seen an oncologist. Her mother had died because of cancer a week before she'd gotten married.
"Miss Lin?" The nurse who accompanied her looked at her with pity.
"Please tell me what's happening!" Lin Meirong demanded but from the look the nurse was giving her, she could more or less guess what it was.
The nurse chewed her lower lip and sighed.
"I'm not sure either Miss Lin, but there was something wrong with the blood test that came in today." The woman said as they waited for another round of tests to get started.
Lin Meirong nodded and shut her eyes, tears streaming down her face. She didn't have to go through this fucking test to know that she was about to be diagnosed with the same illness that killed her mother.
Her mother died from it and now it was going to take her life too. What would she do now? Her thoughts stilled as she remembered the daughter she left in Mu Jianyu's care. What if the child had the same illness?
She'd known something was not right when she kept fainting and feeling dizzy. She should've insisted on getting tested for everything before moving out of the capital. With her funds dwindling each passing day, Lin Meirong wasn't sure if she would be able to pay for her treatments.
She closed her eyes as the oncologist worked on her. The doctor was silent, there was no conversation nor emotion shown on her face, but Lin Meirong's mind was quite the opposite. So many thoughts crossed her mind.
She remembered the suffering her mother endured before cancer finally took her life. Her mother fought so hard, but in the end, she still lost her life in that battle. She was warned that she might have inherited it and was asked to get tested, which she did. The result came out as negative and she remembered letting out a sigh of relief back then.
However, this time, Lin Meirong knew that it wouldn't be the same as before.
Only when the doctor tapped on her shoulder, did she realize that her sight was blurred by tears.
"Please tell me the truth," she demanded from the doctor.
"We found something in your kidney and spleen. We need to do a biopsy to see what it is."
Lin Meirong shut her eyes and nodded. Maybe this was her karma for all the devious things she'd done in her life. In her mind, she was sure as hell that this was her punishment.
She could imagine herself in a casket, then remembered that she had no one to rely on, forcing her to face this problem on her own. Only time would tell how this would end for her. She had no one to call for help, nor anyone to accompany her.
For the first time in her life, she started to regret her past decisions.
Was this her punishment for abandoning her children and ruining other people's marriage? Before, the thought of regretting her affairs never crossed her mind. She initially believed that if those men truly loved their wives and lovers, they would have resisted the thrill of having an affair with her.
The next time she woke up, Lin Meirong found herself on a hospital bed, just in time to see the doctor and two nurses entering her room.
"Miss Lin, how do you feel?" The oncologist asked as she flipped the patient's chart.
"Horrible." She started to sob pitifully. "So how bad is it?"
The doctor gave her a weak smile and took a deep breath. Her eyes had pity on it.
"Miss Lin…"
She wasn't able to say the diagnosis? "Do I have any options?" Lin Meirong asked. From the look on the doctor's face, she knew she had cancer.
"The cancer has progressed rapidly and at an alarming rate. I'm not sure why your obstetrician failed to notice it during your pregnancy, but it most likely started when your hormones went overdrive during gestation period."
Lin Meirong remained silent. So she would have a chance to survive if she'd found out earlier. However, wouldn't that also mean she should have to abort her daughter so she could undergo chemotherapy?
Suddenly, she found it hard to breath. The cancer was already spreading, meaning that she had had this for some time now and she wasn't aware of it. How the fuck didn't she know?
If she had terminated her pregnancy earlier, she wouldn't have been in this situation.