Life in a new Kingdom

"I'll be with you as long as you need it. So, let loose, I guess." My words came out on autopilot. The tone was mono, and it came off rude. I quickly stopped myself, shook my head, and apologized. "Sorry, that's not how I wanted that to sound."

Lukia let out a soft sigh before responding. Her hair was undone and unkempt. The curls wrapped around her neck and back. I couldn't help but notice the amber-colored hair made her amber eyes all the more vibrant. The glossy look in her eyes from crying somehow made me feel a bit tranced at them. My eyes pried away the moment she met them, and I sat on the bed a couple of feet away from her.

"Why can't I just move on... This wasn't an issue when I thought they died the first time. But now, it's different. Like any hope I had, it is now torched to a flame. What should I do, Caleb? This useless feeling makes me sick." Laying back on the bed, Lukia covers her eyes with the sole of her arms. The sweaty pours of her skin glisten in the dimly lit room: all but a silent whimper from the poor girl.

"You made terms that your mother perished quickly along with your father. The shock of seeing her again brought you back a moment of hope that became twisted when the fate she had all along was far beyond your worst nightmares. If the mother I cherished all this time was suddenly alive, and I had to witness that..." A slight pause. The pulse of nerves crawls up the back of my spine. A single moment of thinking about that exact scenario brought out a horrid feeling. "The fact you're still alive after facing that is more than I can say most people could live with."

"This isn't living! Just prolonged suffering until my will to resist taking my dagger and piercing my own heart to end this pain! I would not have it any longer soon!" Anger fills her words. She doesn't quite understand the implications she speaks of, but it left me worried. The bottoms of her feet curled along with the rest of her body while she hugged her knees in the fetal position.

"Lukia...If I can't be of any help, I'll get Gale, and he'll-"

"No!" She reaches out and pulls my sleeve. Her desperate attempt to stop me drags me alongside her in bed. My arm lands right next to her head, and my knee presses in between her thighs. Waves of heat travel throughout my body, and both a sense of excitement and discomfort arise within me. I've been so focused on the quest that I have developed into adolescence without realizing it.

"Lukia..." I softly called her name as I stared into her eyes. From her perspective, I could only imagine what she saw me looming over her. I couldn't move. Both my mind and my body grew stiff in more ways than one. The fears of my imagination and thoughts came true when the blush patted her cheeks.

"Caleb...I..." Her soft lips seemed easy to gain from my position. She shifted her legs, and I could feel every movement. My heart rang in my ears as the heat within my body continued to grow.

Damn it. I really want to kiss her. My eyes couldn't stop staring at them. With only moments close, I felt temptation push down on me. Lukia was vulnerable, and my needs began to grow. Neither one of us was in the right mind to be alone with one another.

"S=Sorry... I'll move-"

The swift pull of her arms drew me closer to her face. I hardly resisted. Everything about this was wrong. Why did I still press my knee closer between her legs? My body had betrayed everything I mentally didn't require. Yet, it still took hold.

There was no doubt she saw the equipment was fully working. She didn't care at this point; I could tell that she didn't care if I took advantage of her. As long as it took her mind off the current subject, she would find any excuse to feel comfort. Emotionally, physically, even intimately.

"Do you like my body..." The words uttered from her lips. I gripped the sheets tightly as her hands cupped my cheeks. My entire world had turned upside down. I couldn't hide anything from her at this point. She continued to pull me closer. Her lips moved again to speak, "I'll show you everything...just don't leave me tonight..." The slim finger of her left hand slowly began to push away the clothing at her chest. More and more of her soft yet decently plump breasts were uncovered. The tips of her ample nipples were on the brink of being exposed.

Frustration and guilt brewed inside my body. My eyes finally noticed the softness of her eyes—the look of someone who didn't care about themselves anymore. The eyes of someone who is dead yet breathing. An irking pain stabbed my heart to see Lukia like this. The guilt of allowing myself to get this close in a dangerous position to someone who I genuinely care about... I couldn't deny that lately, I found myself looking at her, but I couldn't make any of it. The frustration that I still had Tia. She will be the one I will marry soon in the coming years.

Lukia invaded my thoughts, and I couldn't properly bring myself to even think about Tia without a hint of guilt. I snapped from the trance and pulled away from Lukia. Her eyes widened, and a look of pain struck her deeply.

"I see...not even you would want a pitiful person like me..."

"What? What the hell are you even talking about?"

Tears streamed down her face. Her voice shakes with each word. "I'm not pretty... I'm a dirty girl who isn't a woman... I'm a disgrace as a daughter who couldn't end her own mother's suffering... I couldn't get him to look at me like this, and the person I chose to see me like this looks at me with disgust...!"

I wouldn't let her tare into herself like this. My heart knew deep down that she didn't mean any of that. She is scared, hurt, looking for comfort, and I was the one that Gale somehow chose? I couldn't quite understand why he wanted me to help her when he would be the easiest choice. Lukia and I would have made a huge and terrible mistake if I didn't stop it from going further.

That's why my next actions and words only came as a shock after the fact. Something came over me after the sinking feeling in my chest occurred. Without realizing it... I had fully mounted myself in her legs while pulling her face towards me so she could properly see me. The noise either of us making could wake up anyone at this time of night. I kept my voice calm and collected as I spoke.

"Lukia... You're not useless or ugly or terrible or any of that crap. I like you. I've enjoyed spending time with you every day we've traveled together. I would risk my life for you if need be. Understand?"

The light in her eyes had returned slightly. A soft nod of her head was her response. Processing everything I had just said caused her body to flush red from embarrassment. I also felt the same shame as my actual feelings had been blurted out in the middle of that whole speech.

"W-Wait... That isn't what I-" My words weren't a lie. I did have feelings for her. How strong they were was still to be determined, but what was set in stone was that I didn't want to lose her. If that meant someone beyond what we initially had... Then, I expressed myself however I could without committing a mistake. Nonetheless, I couldn't handle the embarrassment any longer and quickly jumped off her, grabbed my cloak, and laid it over her.

"Please cover yourself...Sorry, I don't have anything better..." I looked away at her but continued to feel her eyes staring at me. She softly grabbed the cloak and gently pressed her face into it.

"It smells like you..." I flinched at those words. I couldn't handle it anymore and sat down, my hands covering my lap and my legs folded over one another. I gulped nervously and tried to think of Tia in the moment... It didn't help like I thought...