Joy of Life

Chapter 724: A Night Of Northern Wind

 

Night had fallen. The wind and snow rose and fell.

When the wind and snow rose, they whistled through the snowy wilderness, picking up countless piles of snow. The darkness was like an exile that swallowed people whole while the ruthless and unrestrained sounds made one’s heart tremble endlessly with fear. When the wind and snow fell, the world was silent and cold. It was as if one side was a sea of snow gathering the violence of the wind. There were miles of cold and silver light. The boundless and white deathly silent snowfields were extremely cold.

In the unusually cold and icy snowy plains, even if the moonlight shone down, it seemed to be instantly frozen. Regardless of whether the wind and snow raged or if the world was calm, that spot of light high up could not be extinguished. It was like mankind’s desire for an unknown event, stubbornly and firmly waiting.

The fire basin in the tent gave off a rare warmth. The material in the fire basin was very good for burning, and the flame was also quite big. Additionally, the tent was specially designed to effectively keep out the wind and keep the warmth in.

Haitang Duoduo had already taken off the leather hat that obscured half her face. Her cheeks were as red as apples. She crouched by the fire basin to boil some soup. Her brows were slightly furrowed with a faint sense of worry. Fan Xian, who had already wormed into his sleeping bag, did not notice her expression.

They had been walking north for a number of days. The days were getting colder. Each day they walked for less time in the daylight. Most of the time was spent hiding in the tents away from the snow. Fan Xian was not worried about these problems. He just calculated how long their burning materials and food would last them.

There was only a bearskin left of that white bear. Fan Xian had polished off two bear claws himself. Although Haitang and Thirteenth Wang were surprised by his leisurely appearance, they were more surprised that he had not even forgotten such a thing as spices in the equipment he carried with him. Honestly speaking, bear claw was not very good to eat. There was truly not enough.

At the beginning of the expedition to the Temple, the dozens of hard-working snow hounds that pulled their equipment could find their own food. As they moved deeper into the snowy plains, there were less and less living beasts to be seen. With no other choice, Fan Xian was forced to make use of the food he had prepared. These snow hounds worked hard every day, so Fan Xian could not bear to mistreat them. But, surely their appetites were a bit too good.

For the expedition, Fan Xian had truly prepared thoroughly, including sunglasses to prevent snow-blindness, specially made fine woolen sleeping bags, and a vast amount of material preparation. But, he was still wary. If they could not find the Temple before summer, once they actually had to survive a whole half-year of darkness in the extremely icy plains, the amount of food would not be enough. In the end, they might have to start killing dogs.

Ku He and Xiao En had depended on eating human flesh to survive. Fan Xian did not wish to repeat history. He turned his head slightly and looked at Haitang Duoduo by the fire basin. Forcing down the piercing pain in his chest, he asked, “Do you want to hear a story?”

“What story?” Haitang’s face was still a bit red. She also didn’t raise her head. Fan Xian smiled and told the story of Xiao En and Ku He’s expedition to the north. He even included the deed of the two elders eating human flesh.

After Haitang listened to the story, the color of her face gradually changed. It was as if she could not accept, for a time, that her teacher had once made such a horrifying choice. A complicated emotion echoed through the girl’s heart. After a moment of silence, she slowly raised her head and looked at Fan Xian with a pair of very bright eyes. Quietly, she said, “To tell me this at this time, presumably it’s not just for the sake of disgusting me and lowering my morale. You must have some reason.”

“I’ve realized you really like the snow hounds,” Fan Xian said tiredly. His eyelids drooped. “Truthfully, these snow hounds have indeed helped us a great deal. Once we are truly in desperate straits, we’ll have to start eating dog meat. I hope you can prepare yourself now.”

Haitang’s expression changed slightly. In front of Fan Xian, she didn’t have to maintain her position as Northern Qi’s saint girl and the head of Tianyi Dao. Instead, she could show her emotions. She was a girl, so she would have affection for the snow hounds that bounded forth happily every day. In this month, she had been almost solely responsible for the dogs’ good. Suddenly hearing these words, only now did she know that Fan Xian did not have good intentions from the start. The snow hounds that worked hard to pull the sleighs were just another prepared food.

Haitang had already made difficult preparations for this journey to the Temple. As she heard the tragic story earlier of her teacher needing to eat human flesh, she knew what was important. She lowered her head slightly. She didn’t comment, but she also didn’t rebut.

It was quiet inside the tent, making the sound of wind and snow outside clear. They could even clearly hear just how much snow slammed against the outer layer of the tent. The slapping sound made one unable to settle down.

Footsteps crunched across the ice. Fan Xian’s and Haitang’s expressions did not change. They knew who it was. In this snowy plain, empty of life and so cruelly cold, it was impossible there would be anyone else other than the three of them whose will, determination, and physical bodies were at the peak of human capabilities.

Thirteenth Wang lifted the bound strips of wood that was the door and walked in, bringing with him a gust of cold air. The flames in the fire basin dimmed abruptly. The damned chill was cold enough to freeze the flames themselves with low temperatures.

Haitang took out a small black ball from her sleeve and threw it into the fire basin, steadying the flames. All of these were specially designed things Fan Xian had been preparing for years, particularly the fire starter, which they used endlessly.

Thirteenth Wang stood on the fur rug at the entrance and dusted off the thick layer of ice and snow on his body. Taking down the countless layers of scarves wrapped around his face, he spat out a few words like lumps of ice from between his pale lips, “All done, let’s sleep.”

Haitang was responsible for living matters. This girl had finally been shaped by Fan Xian into a housewife in this extreme environment. Thirteenth Wang was responsible for leading the dozens of snow hounds, the construction of the tents, and defensive work. His “all done” indicated that the wind-proof and snow-proof tent specially designed for the snow hounds had been dealt with.

Speaking from just workload, Thirteenth Wang’s was more tiring. Fan Xian narrowed his eyes and said, “From tomorrow, you’re responsible for feeding the dogs.”

Thirteenth Wang nodded and sat down by the fire basin. He accepted the bowl of warm soup Haitang handed to him and drank it warmly. Each mouthful was drunk with great care. The sword at his waist dragged on the floor, emanating a faint scent of blood.

“If you want to return to your previous state, you do indeed need to train endlessly. But, this place is too cold. Don’t force yourself too hard.” A faint glimmer of worry flashed through Fan Xian’s eyes. These few days, Thirteenth Wang had practiced the sword with unusual courage in the wind and snow, using his body’s strength to oppose the might of the Earth. Such an ascetic method truly made Fan Xian and Haitang feel moved.

They knew Thirteenth Wang had a sense of urgency. He wanted his arm to recover quickly or to continue practicing with his left arm. However, Fan Xian was always worried about his body.

“One of the wolves found a burrow of snow hares earlier, but the hole was too deep. They couldn’t do anything. I helped them chase out the hares.” Thirteenth Wang put down the soup bowl and wiped at his face. Shaking his head, he said, “I just stretched out my muscles a bit. If it keeps on being this cold, I’m afraid I’m going to turn into a block of ice.”

“Looks like we can have a change in food tomorrow,” Fan Xian said with a smile as he covered his mouth to cough. He realized that Thirteen was growing closer and closer to these snow hounds as well. He would probably have to convince one extra person in the future.

He suddenly noticed Haitang’s strange behavior. She was particularly quiet. Her face was very red, and there was a look of worry between her brows. Unable to resist, he quietly asked, “What are you thinking about so intently?”

Haitang furrowed her brows slightly and glared at him but didn’t say anything. Thirteenth Wang, to the side, paused and gave a rare smile. Retying the scarves around his face, he walked out of the tent.

Fan Xian couldn’t help but discover the reason in a moment. He laughed, and said, “Would a living person kill themselves holding in their pee?”

These words were crude, but they just happened to hit the nail on the head. A glimmer of anger flashed through the girl’s eyes.

Fan Xian had calculated again and again. He had finished his calculations for the Temple expedition as early as two years ago. He was sure he would drag Haitang and Thirteenth Wang with him as helpers because he knew that during a slow journey and endless nights, just like when he was in his sick bed in his previous life, the difficult to endure loneliness would drive one crazy. Ku He and Xiao En had been able to last until the appearance of the Temple under the sun not because they dared to eat human flesh but because they had each other as a companion. In a dangerous and unknown journey, companions always were the most important factor.

But, there were still some living details Fan Xian forgot about. It didn’t matter to him or Thirteenth Wang. Any random jar would resolve matters. He had not thought about adding extra burden and preparing a tent to use as the toilet, an unusually luxurious addition in this snowy plain. Although the previous few days were cold, it could be resisted. However, the temperature had dropped abruptly these two days. It would be difficult to relieve oneself outside.

Thirteenth Wang left to give Haitang personal space. She narrowed her eyes and looked coldly at Fan Xian as she said, “If not for your pot of medicine, it would not be so inconvenient.”

Fan Xian was silent as he smiled. Of the three of them, he was the weakest. If he were to duck out into the wind and snow outside the tent right now, he would probably immediately freeze and become completely useless. He laughed quietly and said, “Thirteenth Wang has left because he knows of our relationship. What are we to each other? Surely there is no need to mind this?”

It was still a heavy and cold night. Because the fire basin lacked large burning materials, the flames within could not burn brightly. Outside the tent, the wind and snow continued to rage desperately. Although there was no danger in the darkness around them, the cold itself was the greatest danger. Three sleeping bags were arranged around the fire basin, but the three young people in the sleeping bags had their eyes wide open, unwilling to sleep.

They had already been in the snowy plains for a month without any entertainment or way to kill the time. Other than traveling there was sleeping. They were utterly bored. The three of them had already slept their fill. If Fan Xian was not so weak, he would certainly regret having Thirteenth Wang at his side. Otherwise, he could hold Duoduo, speak some sweet nothings that hadn’t been said in a long time, and enjoy the pleasures of hands and mouths. That would also be good.

After dozens of sleepless nights, the three young people had talked about everything they could. Even the incidents of Thirteenth Wang wetting his bed as a child had been ruthlessly excavated by Fan Xian. Thus, the three of them could only stare with wide open eyes and listen to the whistling of the wind outside the tent and pretend they were enjoying a musical performance.

After an endless silence, Fan Xian suddenly said, “With such raging wind and snow and such brutal coldness, the people who had traveled to here back then would probably have lost half their group. We’re quite incredible for the three of us to push on.”

Head to head with him, Haitang quietly said, “Teacher was the first to open the way and seek the temple. Unlike you, he didn’t know the way. It would have been more hard work. Those who came later always have more of an advantage than those who went before. You always seem to know more things than we do.”

‘Don’t envy me,” Fan Xian said, laughing happily as he closed his eyes. “To be able to go to different places and experience different things is a rare luxury.”

Thirteenth Wang replied, “Makes sense.”

“Since it is so, why don’t the three of us make poetry? In the history books of the future, it will say that on a night assaulted by the wind and snow, it made great poetry, and so on. Would it not be marvelous? I’ll start. This is exactly what is known as a night of northern wind…”

There was no follow up. Neither Haitang nor Thirteenth Wang wanted his scholarly air to be activated, so they remained silent.

Fan Xian coughed and laughed, “Ah, you give me no face at all.”

“We are all crude people. You wanting us to make poetry with you is you not giving us face. Besides, that line is by that Feng Lazi from ‘Story of the Stone,'” Haitang said.

“Even ‘Story of the Stone’ is written by me. Who dares to say that this line isn’t written by me?” Fan Xian’s thick-skinned and shameless voice rang out in the tent.

The other two used silence to express their disdain. Fan Xian laughed, keeping his tired eyes open in the dim environment. As he coughed, he panted and said, “We’ve talked about everything. Our understanding of each other is sufficient, but I have always been curious as to what you want to do in this world?”

“I want to become a Great Grandmaster and protect the subjects of Dongyi like teacher did.” Thirteenth Wang’s answers were always so valiant and direct, confident and common.

“Bed-wetting little rascals have no right to speak in such authoritative tones.”

Haitang’s bright eyes looked at the tent above her and said, after a moment of silence, “I grew up in the back of Qing Mountain. Later, I went to Shangjing and began to travel the world. I just want to expand the Qing Mountain sect, protect the Qi court so that it can last thousands of generations, not be invaded by foreign enemies, and for the people to live happily and safely.”

He voice suddenly grew dim. “But, when teacher passed, I found out that I wasn’t a person of Qi. Instead, I was a person of Hu. I don’t know what I want to do. I think that if the Qi Kingdom can be at peace, if this world can be at peace, it’s always a good thing.”

“You two certainly live up to being the two strange old creatures’ last disciples. It was just a casual reply, yet you’ve put the world ahead of all else,” Fan Xian said and sighed. “Actually, before knowing you, I had never thought of things like good battles and bad peace.”

“Uncle Wu Zhu never cared about these things, so I also didn’t care much. I just wanted to live a good life.” Fan Xian’s tone was particularly light. “The more moving and vivid the better. From the moment I understood things, I felt that everything around me was a dream and one day I would wake from the dream. This kind of feeling made me live each day diligently and intently. I seemed to want to use the wealth of these details to dilute my fear to waking from the dream.”

Hearing Fan Xian’s meandering tone, Haitang and Thirteenth Wang sank into silence. They thought Fan Xian was sighing with emotion about his strange history and odd life. They were unable to know what Fan Xian was truly emotional about.

“Since you don’t wish to wake from this dream, the contents of the dream must be good,” Haitang said comfortingly.

The corners of Fan Xian’s mouth twitched. He said with a smile, “Naturally. If not to protect everything wonderful in this dream, why would I come to this godforsaken place? Why would I fight with the Emperor about all this? Why would I make myself pretend bravery and righteousness? why would I enter the Palace to assassinate yet carefully maintain the stability of the Qing court?”

Was everything after his rebirth actually a dream? The tent was silent, Haitang and Thirteenth Wang had both fallen asleep, but Fan Xian still could not sleep. He silently stared at the sky separated from him and listened to the whistling wind outside the tent, thinking endlessly in his heart.

He died in the other world and came to life in this one. During the years of his childhood, it was impossible for him to shake off the fear of waking at any moment from this dream. He was afraid that all of this was fake. He was afraid he was caught in some illusory mental state. He was afraid that this was a world-encompassing Truman Show. He was afraid that this was a sophisticated game and he was just a mental ripple, a stream of data, or a wooden man who had been hypnotized.

The truly brave warrior dared to face death. For the reborn Fan Xian, his one true fear was that he didn’t know if he had truly died. He worried that once he woke from the dream, he would be lying on the sick bed again and sink into the true darkness, never to see all this beauty again: the streams and mountains, lakes and seas, flowers and trees, and beautiful people.

Him standing on the roof of the house in Danzhou shouting for the clothes to be collected and his 300 poems in front of the palace, all of this was rooted in an impetuous emotion. Having lived in the territory of the Qing Kingdom for more than 20 years, he had laughed and cried. He could finally prove that this was not all a dream.

Although he still didn’t know what the Temple was, he was sure that all of this was truly happening around him and not the illusion of some god in the darkness.

The people in this world truly existed. The feelings in this world truly existed, as well as human nature, sorrow, and joy. There were some things that could not be faked. If there truly was a god who could perfectly control all this, like god wanting light, Nv Wa playing with dirt, or Pan Gu wanting a rest, then what purpose was there to all of this?

The closer they got to the Temple, the less Fan Xian was able to shake off these questions. It was not until tonight that he gradually thought it through. Perhaps this journey to the Temple was to find the answer to a question. In reality, he was still more concerned with the secular and real. At least, the life, sorrow, and joys of the people in what he thought was reality.

As for the unknown, unknowable, intangible, and unobservable things, they didn’t exist in reality. This was content that had been spoken of in the physics classes in that other world. Fan Xian always remembered it clearly. Now, he suddenly felt that this physics definition could be assigned to the word fate.

No one could change fate, but they could choose to not accept their fate or ignore it. Fan Xian lived in this word. Whether he loved or hated the people or affairs of this world, this world was true for sure, true to the bone. He firmly believed in this.

It was a sleepless night with all the zhenqi gone from his body. Although the yuanqi he absorbed through the air made up for the deficiencies in his body, the speed was not increasing quickly enough. The outside cold seeped in. His state of mind was chaotic. Fan Xian finally fell sick.

By the time the wind stopped whistling outside and the snow on the ground reflected white light into the tent, Fan Xian’s face had become very pale. Two unhealthy red spots appeared beneath the hollow of his eyes. His forehead was boiling to the touch.

The illness he most feared had come during the coldest time. Fan Xian laid in Haitang’s warm and soft embrace and intently drank the medicine he put together. He forcefully maintained his energy and said in a hoarse voice, “The medicinal urn has something to say.”

“Speak.” Haitang’s brows were filled with worry. She held him gently, rocking him back and forth like a child.

“We can’t stop, we have to keep going,” he said.

“But, the snow is too heavy,” Haitang said.

Suddenly, the door to the tent was lifted. Thirteenth Wang poked his head in with delight on his face.

A night of northern wind with the snow floating passed the open door. However, this snow had been whirled up from the ground. There was no more snow falling from the sky. There were only the blue sky and cowering sun. The air was still very cold, but the snow had finally stopped.