Isekai Speedrun

My name is... what was it again?

Wait, where am I?

I think I was heading to – no, I was in a convenience store. I wanted some canned coffee, I think.

I was browsing a magazine and there was a full-page ad... for some new game...

And suddenly I'm on this weirdly shaped oil rig in the middle of the ocean. Weird cosplay dudes in black robes stand in a circle and bow at me.

Well, hello to you too. I'm... from... Fine. Sorry. I don't remember, okay?

Could someone explain what's going on here? Anyone? It seems I'm in a different world.

Am I a summoned hero or something? Anyone? They don't seem to understand my language.

Wait, do they even hear my words? Are they deaf? You're just going to ignore me?

Yes, I'd like to see the elves and catgirls first. Bring in the elves. Standard fantasy stuff, please.

Conquer the dragons, kill the dungeons, free the nobles and overthrow the slaves.

I have to bring some modern technology into this backwards world.

But I can't understand their language at all. This is bothersome. Do I have to learn how to read again too?

I'll find someone to translate for me.

Do I have special powers? Magic? Teleportation? I really hope I have something.

I'd hate to start from level one like a normal person.

Black robe dudes are trying to push me into a painting behind me.

Sorry, I'm not interested in art. Not that interested.

Why are you so obsessed with the painting, guys? Guys, seriously, get a room with the painting. I'm not into this.

Right then, I'll just jump into the ocean and find some rational people. Adios, perverts.

Ah, I think I have solved the mystery. My special ability is waterbreathing. It's okay, I guess.

I'm walking at the bottom of the ocean. A big fish tried to eat me, but broke its teeth. Sorry, fish.

It seems my defense is high.

I really hope this is not a full-on waterworld. I don't want to go back to the oil rig or whatever that place is called.

Can I get some tea or coffee in here? It's going to be a major headache, if caffeine doesn't exist in this world.

Oh, I found land.

...shuffle shuffle shuffle...

I moved around the coast a bit, but it was no good.

There are no catgirls in this world. No elves either.

I walked in many forests, but I couldn't find even one catgirl or one elf. Major disappointment.

This is not the fantasy world I wanted. They've invented all kinds of stuff like railways and revolvers.

I didn't order Wild West. I wanted wizards and elves. Take this world back to the kitchen.

Everyone, please show me some high fantasy magic.

No, I'm sorry. I still can't understand what you people are saying.

You can kick and punch, but I'm kind of indestructible, see? You're just wasting your time.

No, I'm not interested in your strange habits. But if you find any elves or catgirls, send me a message, sorry_man@...

Uh, why do I even try? Send me a messenger pigeon or smoke signals or whatever.

Wait, you over there. Are you a dark elf? Why do you keep staring at me like that? Are you a pervert too?

Huh? Say something. You really move at your own pace.

A mirror, you say? Surprised!

Oh, you guys again. Why do you want to put me in a small room? Am I being detained?

It happened fast, but I expected something like this. I don't have passport or anything.

I must be suspicious dark elf person. Can I call my elf lawyer? Yes, fine. You don't have phones here either. Forget it.

I hope this is not a life sentence.

What should I do? Time goes so fast when you start thinking.

Why is that girl staring at me? Officer, there's a creepy girl– oh, she was arrested too?

It's a harsh life here. Even if you're not an elf, you get thrown in jail.

Officer, you forgot to close the cell door.

Wait, am I free to go? Can I go now? Did they find catgirls?

The not elf is on a research table. She's trying to say something to me. Sorry, I don't understand you.

I'm not interested in 3D humans. I want 2D humans, 3D elves and 4D catgirls. One race per dimension.

I don't really get it, but maybe this girl could wear some cat ears or elf ears. Do you wear cat ears?

Did I raise a flag? Are you joining my party? Let's find some cat ears for you.

I feel like going this way. Can we go this way? There might be some elves behind those hills.

It's a strange thing. The girl grew up into an adult already. Elves grow up so fast. That's fantasy world for you.

Another girl joined my elf party. It this a harem? Can you call it harem with two girls?

It must be a harem. I must be the overpowered protagonist.

One can wear cat ears, other can wear elf ears.

Sorry, I didn't mean anything bad by that. You're already doing Western cosplay stuff with trench coats and guns.

I'm sorry for causing trouble.

Did someone mention elves? Did I... oh, sorry. I thought I stumbled into a dark hole for a moment.

It's strange. There's big house, but they can't see it. Big house on the hill, over there.

Is it too dark? I can see just fine.

I guess I need to show them how doors work. I have to do everything around here.

Why are we talking with these strange dudes out of nowhere? There might be some fellow elves in these rooms.

Wait, isn't this place actually a dungeon? Why is it a house? Are you trying to trick me?

Finally some real dungeon stuff. Let's stay in this place and wait if catgirls come out.

What's this? These trees look like movie props. Are we making a movie?

Look, try touching them a bit like this. It's like they are made of paper.

Someone's sitting on my lap. Who are you? Wait, you're that elf I met long time ago.

Is it alright to just sit on my lap like that? Is this a honeymoon episode? Are you a waitress? One cappuccino, please.

I haven't had my morning coffee. I'm sorry.

This is not the kind of fantasy world I signed up for. It's raining all the time. Are fantasy worlds like that?

Time sure flies when you're not having fun.

This shiny mask dude looks familiar. Have we met somewhere? Where did we meet? Sorry, I really don't remember.

People here move strangely. First they are in one place, then in another place. Is it just me, or do you all know teleportation spell?

Oh, your limbs are over there and you're torso is over there. Are you trying to go everywhere at once?

I see. Now I understand. It was that.

I'm a bit slow.

I've actually been feeling really slow for a while now.

Where did everyone go? The walls kind of look like they are melting. Are the walls made of ice?

I'm on top of a high tower now. Someone please tell me what's going on here. The sky looks different.

Is this a different another world? The stars are not right.

Maybe there are catgirls in this world.

Ah, bird. Hello bird. Do you want to sit on my arm? Oh, it disappeared.

I'm sorry. Some blonde girl in angry. Were you taking a bath? I didn't look.

If this is about the bird, I have no idea what happened. Was it your friend? Sorry about that.

I'm sorry, alright? I didn't know it would just disappear like that. You don't have to make all those faces.

I can't understand. Why do you look so old? This grandmother is mad at me for some reason.

Is it because I'm an elf? Are you an elf racist?

By the way, where did that not elf go? She's probably worried about me.

I know, I'm sorry I just suddenly appeared here. It couldn't be helped. Sorry for troubling you.

I'm just an inconvenience, am I? Sorry for existing.

I shouldn't be here at all. I'll go away.

...shuffle shuffle shuffle...

I'm trying my best.

And now I'm in a sand desert. Why? Just sand here and nothing else.

No, this is fine. Sand is just fine for this humble one.

Excuse me, I have places to be in.

Maybe there are elves behind those sand dunes.

...shuffle shuffle shuffle...

Now it's dark.

My name is... what was it again?

Wait, where am I?

I think I was heading to – no, I was in a convenience store. I wanted some canned coffee, I think.

I was browsing a magazine and there was a full-page ad... for some new game...