Intelligent Design: A Monster Evolution LitRPG

The wind howled past the cave mouth, driving sheets of snow into the gloom as David maintained his stoic pose. His wings billowed dramatically behind him, and the time worn and polished peace sign pendant Claire had made him sparkled in what little light penetrated the cavern. Each Supremacy shard caught the gleam differently, making him look like some kind of disco-goth champion.

I look so cool right now. Just like that guy from the games when I was a kid. The one on the mountain that never talked. Wait, is that why Gideon made me this stupid hat?

Captain lounged on a nearby boulder, their massive fluffy form somehow managing to look regal despite being half-covered in snow drift. Their crystal sat unused on David's bandolier, along with seven others. They'd refused to return to it months ago, declaring "As it was written, so shall it be - I ain't getting back in that thing."

A voice drifted through the curtain of snow beyond the cave mouth. "Hello? They said you'd be up here! The legendary Bat of- HOLY SHIT!"

Three figures burst through the snowfall, the lead one immediately stumbling backward into their companions. The resulting pile-up sent all three sprawling onto the cave floor - a hamster-like monster about David's size with golden fur, a goblin in an immaculate (if now snow-covered) three-piece suit, and a dwarf woman whose hair contained more braids than seemed physically possible.

David quickly suppressed his terror field, the ability to control it still feeling new even after a year of practice. The hamster-monster immediately bounced back to their feet, eyes shining with barely contained excitement.

"That was AMAZING! I've never felt anything like that! Are you really that strong? Can we battle? Please tell me we can battle!"

"Do control yourself, Miss Chen," the goblin muttered, brushing snow from his suit with obvious disgust. "The atmospheric conditions are completely unsuitable for proper crystal resonance, and the altitude will surely affect-"

"By my ancestor's forge!" The dwarf woman interrupted, shoving past both of them. "Would you look at those wing-blades! Such magnificent edges! Such perfect curves!" She batted her eyes at David. "I don't suppose you'd let a lady take a closer look at your... equipment?"

"Margaret!" The goblin looked scandalized. "That's the legendary Bat of Moon Mountain! You can't just-"

"Mine own master is spoken for," Captain announced, rising to their full height incredulously. "His beloved would feast upon thy flesh should thou persist in such advances."

"Ooh, the hard to get type!" Margaret's grin somehow got wider. "And his summon talks in verse! I do love a challenge-"

"They literally mean eat you," David broke his silence, causing everyone to jump. "Like, actually chew and swallow. She's done it once before."

"...Kinky!"

"MARGARET!"

The hamster-monster, Chen, was practically vibrating now. "This is so cool! The stories were true! They said you were crazy strong, and that aura proves it!" She produced a crystal from somewhere in her fur. "I'm Chen, and I challenge you to a Summon Battle!"

David maintained his stoic expression while internally celebrating the change of subject. His nose had been itching for the last ten minutes.

"As it is written in the good book," Captain declared with a sigh, "Let them throw hands."

David's tongue snaked to his bandolier with practiced grace, causing the dwarfs eyes to narrow covetously. The familiar weight felt right, even if he still thought the whole crystal storage thing was weird.

Who even came up with this system? At least the bandolier let him grab them easily.

"The humidity levels are completely wrong for this," the goblin muttered, producing a notebook. "And the barometric pressure-"

"Shut up, Reginald!" Chen and Margaret chorused.

"This shall be a three-on-three battle," Captain announced, somehow making it sound like a biblical proclamation. "May the Lord have mercy upon your soul, for my master shall not."

"Ready when you are!" Chen bounced on her paws. "Man, this is going to be awesome!"

David said nothing, maintaining his mysterious champion aura while trying not to think about how much his nose still itched. Instead, he simply flicked the first crystal forward.

"Go forth, Whisperwind!" Captain declared as light erupted from the crystal. "Show them the meaning of fear!"

The creature that emerged was easily twice the size of its normal kin, its fur a swirling pattern of whites and greys that seemed to shift in the cave's dim light. Massive wings spread wide as it took a battle stance.

"Oh wow, a rare variant!" Chen's eyes lit up as she threw her own crystal. "Let's go, Thunderpaw!"

The light from Chen's crystal coalesced into a massive wolf-like creature wreathed in crackling electricity. Its fur stood on end, static discharge creating a nimbus of blue light around its form.

"The atmospheric conductivity at this altitude will severely impact-" Reginald began, but everyone ignored him.

"Behold!" Captain raised one fluffy paw dramatically. "Let there be throwdown!"

David maintained his stoic pose while internally crafting the perfect strategy. Or at least, that's what he hoped it looked like. Mostly he was wondering if he could get away with scratching his nose if he did it really fast.

"Thunderpaw, use Lightning Rush!" Chen called out, practically bouncing with excitement.

The wolf-creature gathered electricity around itself, preparation for what looked like a devastating charge. David remained motionless, letting his opponent commit to their attack.

Just like the games. Wait for them to get close, then-

"Whisperwind," David spoke softly, his voice carrying despite the howling wind outside. "Mist Step."

The enhanced summon seemed to dissolve into vapor just as Thunderpaw passed through its former position. The wolf skidded to a halt, looking confused.

"Now."

Whisperwind reformed behind its opponent, wings spread wide. No further command was needed - years of training had perfected this combination.

"SUCH MAGNIFICENT TECHNIQUE!" Margaret swooned. "The precision! The grace! The-"

"Focus Strike," David commanded, ignoring both the dwarf's advances and his still-itching nose.

Whisperwind's attack connected with surgical precision, sending Thunderpaw tumbling across the cave floor. The wolf recovered quickly, electricity crackling with renewed intensity.

"Amazing!" Chen's eyes sparkled. "No one's ever countered Lightning Rush like that! Thunderpaw, use Static Field!"

"The electromagnetic interference will surely-" Reginald started writing frantically in his notebook.

"SILENCE, NERD!" Margaret interrupted. "Can't you see we're witnessing poetry in motion?" She batted her eyes at David again. "Speaking of motion, those wings must be so strong-"

"Lo, remember the words of Claire: 'Talk shit, get eaten,'" Captain intoned solemnly.

David remained perfectly still as electricity filled the cave, his hat casting dramatic shadows across his face. Inside, he was struggling not to laugh at Captain's creative interpretation of scripture.

Whisperwind darted through the electrical field, its misty form dispersing and reforming to avoid the worst of the damage. Each movement was precise, calculated - just like they'd practiced countless times.

"Time to end this," David muttered, letting just enough dramatic weight fill his voice. "Phantom Strike."

"But the phase variance of-" Reginald's protest was cut short as Whisperwind seemingly split into dozens of copies, each one diving toward Thunderpaw from a different angle.

The wolf tried to track them all, electricity arcing wildly, but it was too late. The real attack came from directly above, Whisperwind's enhanced form dropping like a stone through its own illusions.

Thunderpaw collapsed, the electricity fading from its fur.

"Return," Chen called out, her crystal reclaiming the fallen summon. Her grin somehow got even wider. "That was incredible! But wait until you see my next one!"

"Go, Steelfist!" Chen's next crystal erupted with light, revealing what looked like a heavily armored badger with brass knuckles on all four paws. It punched the air rapidly, each impact creating small sonic booms.

"The acoustic properties of this cave will-" Reginald ducked as a stalactite crashed nearby.

"Those ARMS!" Margaret's beard braids quivered with excitement. "Almost as impressive as yours, oh dreamy lord of darkness-"

Captain cut in, "Thou shalt not simp."

David maintained his champion pose, though internally he was definitely adding that last line to his list of 'things Captain actually said.' His nose still itched.

Whisperwind was showing signs of fatigue, its misty form flickering slightly at the edges. Time for a switch. David recalled it with a fluid motion that definitely wasn't practiced in front of a mirror for hours.

"Shadowstrike," he commanded softly, launching his next crystal. The summon that emerged was lean and predatory, its dark fur decorated with patterns that seemed to absorb light.

"The visibility conditions in this cave are completely unsuitable for-" Reginald's complaint was lost as both summons charged.

"Steelfist, use Impact Rush!"

"Fade."

The armored badger's lightning-fast combo passed harmlessly through Shadowstrike's afterimage. David allowed himself a small smile, knowing it would look mysterious and cool rather than smug.

God, my nose itches so bad. Focus. Channel the mountain guy. Be mysterious. Be cool. Don't sneeze.

"Chain Arsenal!" Chen commanded. Steelfist's brass knuckles began to glow, extending into energy chains that whipped through the air with devastating force.

"The metaphysical implications of matter-energy conversion at this altitude-" Reginald dove behind a boulder as chains shattered rock.

David remained motionless as chains filled the air, internally grateful that at least one of his companions was keeping the dwarf at bay. Shadowstrike danced between the attacks, each movement a calculated risk that brought it closer to its target.

Now.

"Night Weaver."

Shadowstrike's form blurred, dark tendrils extending from its fur. The chains suddenly found themselves tangled, redirected, turned against their wielder. Steelfist stumbled, trying to recall its weapons, but it was too late.

"The physics of this technique completely violate-" Reginald's protest was cut short as Steelfist crashed into the cave wall beside him, unconscious.

Chen recalled her fallen summon, practically vibrating with excitement. "That was amazing! I've never seen anyone counter Chain Arsenal before! But this next one..." She pulled out her final crystal, grinning. "This is my partner, my strongest! Go, STAR BREAKER!"

The light that erupted from her crystal was nearly blinding. As it faded, a massive bear-like creature stood before them, its fur gleaming like polished metal. Crystalline growths protruded from its shoulders and back, each one pulsing with internal energy.

"The energy readings are off the scale!" Reginald had somehow produced several measuring devices. "This completely contradicts-"

"Those CRYSTALS!" Margaret's eyes had actual hearts in them now. "Almost as beautiful as your-"

Captain interrupted once again. "Thou shalt not be this thirsty. Shame. Dishonor."

David kept his expression neutral despite really wanting to high-five Captain for that one. His nose had gone from itching to practically burning, but he couldn't break character now. Not when things were getting interesting.

"Star Breaker, Crystal Surge!" Chen commanded. The crystalline growths on her summon began to pulse with increasing intensity.

"The quantum resonance patterns are completely unprecedented-" Reginald's instruments started smoking.

"Like the crystalline structure of your SOUL!" Margaret had produced poetry paper from somewhere. "Oh dark prince of the-"

David recalled Shadowstrike before the crystal surge could hit, his movements maintaining that practiced grace despite his nose now feeling like someone was tickling it with ghost peppers. His final crystal felt warm in his hand - time for his ace.

"Nightwing," he spoke softly, internally congratulating himself on not sneezing.

The cave erupted with dark energy as his final summon emerged. Massive bat-like wings spread wide, each one larger than David himself. Its fur was deep purple, almost black, with patterns that seemed to move of their own accord. Multiple red eyes opened across its form, each one glowing with internal fire.

"The biological implications of multiple optical organs-" Reginald's notebook burst into flames.

"THOSE EYES!" Margaret swooned. "Almost as captivating as-"

"OH MY GOD! Stop it or I'm going to kick your ass myself!" Captain all but howled in frustration.

Chen's grin threatened to split her face. "This is it! The legendary Nightwing! Star Breaker, Crystal Nova!"

The bear-creature's crystals began to glow with increasing intensity, building toward what looked like a devastating release of energy. David remained perfectly still, waiting for the perfect moment.

Wait for it... wait for it...

His nose chose that exact moment to finally win its freedom.

"AH-CHOO!"

The thunderous sneeze echoed through the cave, causing everyone to freeze. Even the summons paused mid-battle, staring at the legendary Bat of Moon Mountain as he rubbed his nose with one wing.

"...Excuse me," David muttered, trying to salvage his mysterious aura. "Nightwing, Eclipse Driver."

The battle's climactic moment had been slightly ruined by his sneeze, but Nightwing's response was still spectacular. Darkness bloomed from its wings like an inverse sunrise, each of its red eyes firing beams that intercepted Star Breaker's Crystal Nova. The attacks met in the center of the cave with a sound like reality having hiccups.

"The laws of physics are literally crying!" Reginald's replacement notebook spontaneously transformed into a duck and flew away.

"Such raw power!" Margaret had actual stars in her eyes now. "Like my burning passion for-"

"Ma'am, this is a Wendy's,'" Captain declared.

The competing energies finally destabilized, sending both summons flying backward. When the dust settled, Star Breaker lay unconscious, its crystals dimmed. Nightwing landed gracefully beside David, all eyes blinking in synchronized smugness.

"That was AMAZING!" Chen bounced over to check on her fallen partner. "I've never had such an awesome battle! The way you kept so calm and cool the whole time, except for that sneeze which was actually kind of adorable, and-"

David maintained his stoic expression despite wanting to die inside a little at the 'adorable' comment. He'd worked hard on his mysterious mountain champion aesthetic, damn it.

"Thus it is written," Captain intoned, "git gud."

"Your technique was flawless!" Chen continued, helping Star Breaker up. "The way you didn't even need to call out most of your moves! And that final clash was-"

"The energy output should have literally melted the mountain," Reginald muttered, trying to catch his duck-notebook.

"Speaking of melting," Margaret sidled closer to David, "how about you and I-"

"Claire says no," David finally spoke, causing everyone to jump again.

"But-"

"She can hear you somehow. Don't ask me how. She just can."

As if on cue, a distant evil sounding roar echoed through the mountains, causing several avalanches.

"...I'll wait in the friend zone," Margaret decided.

Chen's enthusiasm couldn't be dampened even by the threat of distant murder-lizards. "Can we battle again sometime? Maybe after I train more? Please?"

David said nothing, simply turning to face the cave entrance as snow continued to fall. His wings billowed dramatically in wind that somehow only affected him.

Captain drew themselves up imperiously and declared, "Get stronger and come back for round two. Gee Gee."

The three visitors departed, Chen's excited chatter about the battle mixing with Reginald's complaints about physics and Margaret's sighs of longing. Once they were gone, David finally relaxed his pose.

"I can't believe you quoted scripture at a thirsty dwarf."

"Bold of you to assume I didn't make all that up," Captain replied with a smirk. "Now, shall we practice your mysterious champion pose some more? Your wing angle was slightly off during that last dramatic turn."

David groaned. Sometimes he missed the days when his summons couldn't talk.

But only sometimes.