If You Don't Fall In Love, You'll Die

Editor: Amaris

What the hell are those decimal points!?

Since Ye Chen only heard it once, he didn’t remember the details!

Death System considerately offered, "Don’t worry, I could repeat it for you two more times." Upon saying so, it repeated its words.

Ye Chen said, "Wait, wait, wait! Let me turn on my phone first."

Hence, with everyone watching him, Brother Chen forcefully stopped their conversation, took out his cellphone and opened the calculator app. "Speak now!"

The Death System repeated its words lazily.

Ye Chen still ignored it and said, "Slow down, slow down!"

Death System said, "Your mathematics (knowledge)... Was it taught by a PE teacher?"

Ye Chen didn’t raise his head. "He’s the fellow brother of the one who wrote your calculation module."

Death System, "..." Shit, he was still blaming it when it miscalculated the life points that time!

Ye Chen swiftly counted the numbers for a long time, relying on his ’extraordinary’ shorthand skills to count these numbers.

"To complete the mission, Ren Jing had to eat 12.5 pieces of the tomatoes and 21.6 pieces of the eggs. I also had to share the rest of the 3.5 pieces of tomatoes and 2.4 pieces of eggs with brother Xi, Old Yu, and Queen Mother, is that so?"

The Death System responded, "That’s right."

"That’s right my shit! What the hell are these 0.5 and 0.6? How could Laozi divide it with such precision? Could it be that I need to weigh the food with a kitchen scale!?"

Death System said, "Which is why I said that you could pick up the food for Ren Jing, which could make up for the error."

Ye Chen raised his lips. "How would it make up for the error?"

Death System sneered. "Picking up the food (for Ren Jing) once would offset the error by 0.01."

Ye Chen’s face became sullen. "I have a word..."

The Death System reacted right away, "You’re not allowed to say it."

Ye Chen definitely wanted to say this, "Son of a bitch!"

Death System whistled and pretended it didn’t hear anything.

Ye Chen racked his brain and finally got an idea.

This mission sounded really, really hard to complete, but IQ was a No. 1 productive force. Brother Chen was a clever man who could withstand Feng Shui!

Seeing Ye Chen calculating over and over, Gu Xi asked, "What are you doing?"

Ye Chen replied, "It’s nothing, it’s nothing." His eyes had been glued to Ren Jing. Then, Ye Chen asked, "Could you come out with me for awhile?"

Hearing his words, Gu Xi and President Yu rubbed their eyes. They clearly wanted to say this: ’Little Ye Chen, you definitely had too much guts to go this far! Queen Mother is about to come back, yet you still wanted to go out and get a kiss from your husband!’

Ren Jing simply could not help but raise his lips. "Sure."

Ye Chen said again, "Be careful not to let my mother see us."

Gu Xi and Yu Xingzhe, "..."

Ren Jing chuckled. His voice was very gentle and soft when he said, "Alright."

When the two of them left, Gu Xi looked at Yu Xingzhe and Yu Xingzhe looked at Gu Xi. Both of them saw in each other’s eyes a weathered and worn look of old fathers who were experiencing the phrase ’a grown boy can’t be kept at home’ happening before them!

Ye Chen took Ren Jing into the guest room. Ren Jing didn’t have the slightest idea of what Ye Chen was going to do. Ye Chen himself didn’t want to waste more time, so he immediately stated, "I have a favor to ask."

Ren Jing, "Say it."

Ye Chen began to feel embarrassed again when the words reached his lips, but this was for life points. His Troublesome Syndrome was only halfway recovered when it came into Ren Jing. Then, he said, "The stir-fried eggs with tomatoes dish... The one that I made..."

Ren Jing complimented him greatly, "Mn, it ’s delicious."

Ye Chen’s face felt a bit warm, but he still plucked up his courage and said, "Could you eat more?"

Ren Jing was stupefied.

Ye Chen said, "I’ll put it before you later, could... you eat more?"

Ren Jing felt as if a firework was exploding inside his heart. He asked, "You want me to eat it?"

"That’s right!" Ye Chen raised his head and looked at Ren Jing. "You have to eat a lot more."

Ren Jing could not help but be excited because of Ye Chen’s adorable thoughtfulness. He slightly lowered his head and kissed Ye Chen’s lips.

Ye Chen opened his eyes wide, confusion spreading all over his face. Wh... why on earth did he kiss me?

Death System said, "Hoho, so you think to share the one and only stir-fried eggs with tomatoes you’ve worked hard to make with Ren Jing—while there are three other people on the table. One is your mother, and the other two are your sworn brothers..."

Ye Chen yelped, "Eh!!!"

Ren Jing didn’t dare to kiss him too hard. After all, Queen Mother was keeping a watch on them outside, he didn’t want to make things difficult for Ye Chen.

Ye Chen caught his breath, then stuttered his words when he said, "Don’t get me wrong, the main point... main point is, I feel that you love to eat the stir-fried eggs with tomatoes! That’s why I want you to eat more of it!"

If you wanted to know what ’the more you touch things up, the darker they get’ meant, you could look at Brother Chen.

Ren Jing’s smile was showing a kind of doting feeling in them. He said softly, "I really love eating that."

Ye Chen continued to make things darker for himself when he said, "Um... You see, I’ve worked hard on making it, but I’m afraid no one would eat it. It’d be really embarrassing if no one eats it, right?"

Ren Jing said earnestly, "I’ll definitely eat it up."

Ye Chen, "..." Did I just make the misunderstanding worse...

The Death System whistled happily.

However, Ye Chen still had some words he had to say. He could almost predict that upon saying those words, the words ’extremely awkward’ and ’double-faced’ would be stuck on his forehead.

But these were four life points we were talking about... Rounding them off, it would still sum up to his life!

I can’t give up.

Ye Chen lowered his head and said in a low voice, "Don’t eat everything up, though... Let others try some, too."

Ren Jing completely complied with what Ye Chen suggested. "Right, after all, it’s the first time you cook."

Ye Chen bit the bullet and continued, "I’ll let them try a bit, each person will get a piece of tomato and half a piece of eggs."

Death System laughed out loud with no trace of politeness, "Ahahahahaha!"

Ye Chen said angrily, "Get out of here!"

Ren Jing had also been amused by Ye Chen. His voice was filled with a glimmer of amusement when he called out, "Chen Chen."

Ye Chen really didn’t dare to look up at him.

Ren Jing planted a kiss between Ye Chen’s forehead and said, "That’s very nice of you."

Ye Chen was revived because of Ren Jing’s voice filled with affection that he nearly teetered...

The two of them went out of the guest room, but Queen Mother hadn’t come out of the kitchen yet.

Master Gu and Master Yu’s sight became like that of laser rays, inspecting Ye Chen in and out. In the end, they had no choice but to shift their gazes away: What else could they do? The tiger wasn’t moving a muscle, yet the little bunny insisted on jumping into the tiger’s mouth. Not even they could drag the bunny away!

Ye Chen knew a move or two. Taking advantage of their ’heavy heart’, he hurriedly brought the stir-fried eggs with tomatoes before Ren Jing.

What Ren Jing needed to do the most now was trying not to smile so sweetly.

Queen Mother who had not the slightest idea of what had happened finally came out. She made hot soup and added two more specialty dishes.

Everyone inevitably praised her. Queen Mother’s face lit up with happiness, she was really happy.

After she sat down, Queen Mother tasted the ’dishes made by Gu Xi’. She could not help but praise, "It’s delicious! Little Xi, you really made Auntie have a whole new level of respect for you!"

Gu Xi: Haha.

After some time, Queen Mother noticed that her idol had been eating only the dishes in front of him. She said, "Little Ren, help yourself, just eat whatever you like. The dishes made by Little Xi are pretty good!"

Ren Jing said, "I’ve eaten them. The soup Auntie made tasted really good."

Praised by Prince Charming! Queen Mother was delighted!

As soon as Ye Chen saw the good circumstances, he immediately pretended that he just accidentally asked, "Ren Jing, do you like to eat stir-fried eggs with tomatoes?"

Ren Jing said, "I do."

Ye Chen said, his voice unusually natural (probably), "Let me tell you, stir-fried eggs with tomatoes is best eaten by mixing it into the rice! We don’t really like to eat it anyway, so since you like to eat it, it’d be better for me to get a bowl to scoop them for you."

Ren Jing kept being reserved and said, "That doesn’t sound good?"

"It’s alright, we’re no strangers anyway." Ye·Owner·Chen got up and held the bowl eagerly to ’pick up’ the food for Ren Jing.

Death System: ’I’m unexpectedly being drilled into my own pit by this bastard!’

After putting the bowl down, he didn’t forget to fix his behavior. He also scooped a bowl of soup for Ren Jing. Then, he said in front of Queen Mother who was still confused, "Added up with my mom’s soup, it’s now awesome! Let me tell you! This soup that my mom cooked..."

Ye Chen praised Queen Mother up to the sky in front of Ren Jing. In a moment, Queen Mother could not manage to do other things anymore. She said in a reserved manner, "You’re exaggerating it."

Ye Chen hurriedly asked Ren Jing, "Do you think it’s tasty?"

Ren Jing was certainly quite cooperative. "It’s tasty."

"Very tasty?"

"Very tasty!"

Queen Mother waved her hand, grinning from ear to ear. "You children only know how to sweet-talk." Hahaha, she was so happy she might explode right where she was!

Seeing this ’family of three’, President Yu and Director Gu felt like they were unnecessary.

President Yu looked at Gu Xi, these words were clearly written on his eyes: ’What are we doing here?’

Gu Xi transmitted his brainwave to him: ’Who told you to be cocky and came back from Paris even!’

President Yu... felt really aggrieved. Wasn’t it his motherland here? qaq

Ye Chen felt somewhat relaxed and breathed a sigh of relief. He still had a second barrier to break through.

After giving Ren Jing his share, Ye Chen acted again. "Brother Xi, the stir-fried eggs with tomatoes you made is really delicious, is it alright for us to try it?" Upon saying so, he picked up the miserable stir-fried eggs with tomatoes on the plate into three people’s bowls.

Gu Xi and Yu Xingzhe had enough of this.

Queen Mother was really happy. She kept indulging in the flatteries that everything felt good for her. She ate her share without thinking much about it. After she took the food into her mouth, she suddenly became sober: ’It was very unpalatable! How could such an unsavory stir-fried eggs with tomatoes even exist?’

Gu Xi and Yu Xingzhe were good children. They definitely had to finish their food, so they also ate their share.

Once they were done eating it, they had a doubt that they had just eaten a fake dish.

The standard didn’t feel right. The rest of the dishes were obviously really tasty, how come it was only this dish...which was hard to explain in a few words?

The two young men were shrewd. After being dumbfounded for awhile, they finally thought it through.

With a clatter, the chopstick Yu Xingzhe was holding fell on the table. He looked at Ye Chen with an inconceivable look across his whole face. "This stir-fried eggs with tomatoes is..."

Ye Chen suddenly got up, picked up a piece of prawn that he had just peeled, then forcefully shoved it straight into Yu Xingzhe’s mouth.

Yu Xingzhe, "..."

Queen Mother looked over and asked, "What happened? What’s wrong with that dish?"

Ye Chen’s heart pounded loudly. He forcefully tried to break off the conversation with all his might, "What Brother Zhe means is... is..."

Queen Mother asked, "What is it?"

Yu Xingzhe choked on the prawn. He drank a mouthful of water and finally swallowed the prawn, but his anger soared up.

Fuck! Little Ye Chen has no conscience at all. He actually gave Ren Jing all the food he made himself, that’s really too biased!

Queen Mother was still waiting for an answer. Gu Xi just couldn’t watch it anymore, so he sluggishly said, "Auntie, I’ll tell you the truth."

Queen Mother looked at him. Ye Chen was so nervous he felt he would die soon, the kind of feeling which screamed ’I’m done for, I’m done for, I’m done for!’.

But Gu Xi was one who deserved to be called ’the best scapegoat for others’ out of everyone. He could only accept his fate and continued, "To tell the truth, I ordered all of these dishes from a restaurant. The only one I made by myself is the stir-fried eggs with tomatoes."

Ye Chen felt as if he was on a roller coaster which was still hanging upside down.

Queen Mother was startled, but then smiled and said, "So that’s how it is."

Gu Xi responded, "Yes, that’s how it is."

Queen Mother asked another deadly question, "So... Was A Zhe angry because A Chen shared most of the dishes you made with Little Ren?"

Queen Mother cracked a smile. "Then again, why was A Zhe angry?"

All the gentlemen present, "........................"

The author has something to say: Ahaha!

Even though they’re really funny, I have to clarify that Old Gu and Old Yu are sworn brothers. They’re not a CP, so don’t stand crooked.