I was summoned by a super villainess to another universe

"Who the fuck is that?"

 

 

Grease just stared at the big monitor as the rampaging, unwanted guest was tearing apart a storage room. Sass looked at Grease with a great deal of concern while Grifter calmly started cycling through various camera angles from both outside and inside the base.

 

"That's Balloon Boy. Former team member and a rather big problem." Grifter calmly explained as she assessed the situation.

 

Jack raised an eyebrow, "So what's his weakness? Lawn Darts?"

 

Grease nodded while she answered his question, "Pretty Much. He got hit with an arrow once and it almost killed him."

 

Jack blinked, "You're kidding me."

 

Sass cracked her neck, "He can take a tremendous amount of punishment, but is extremely vulnerable to attacks both sharp and pointy. I saw him take a full clip of ten gauge solid slugs to the chest, then run in terror from an angry alley-cat."

 

As Sass was turning to leave, Grease zoomed ahead, cutting her off at the exit to the south wing, "This is my problem. I'd like it if everyone else stayed out of this." She explained calmly, then disappeared in a flash of electricity and the lingering scent of ozone.

 

Sass cursed and was about to follow when Grifter spoke up, "We got two possible demonic incursions in our territory." Sass stopped and looked back at Grifter, obviously torn on what to do.

 

Golden Knight fiddled with the hilt of her sheathed sword, "Shisui is getting hungry." She mentioned in a sing-song voice.

 

~Jack. I have to help them. I'm part of this team. Make an excuse to go hide in the bathroom until this is over, so I can get back from my shopping trip.~

 

Jack ignored Adam and turned to Wanderer, "I got an idea, but I need to know if it is even possible. I need your help."

 

Ivy walked over to look at Jack, "What are you thinking of?"

 

Jack looked at his finger tips, "If it isn't alive, I can modify things. Not much, but a little. A little might be enough, if we're talking about a thought. If I can just find a way to physically connect with a thought, I could modify it. All we'll need then is the right base thought, then I supercharge it to counter act this nonsense and things will go back to normal.

 

Ivy raised an eyebrow, "That sounds insane."

 

Wanderer looked shocked, "That sounds brilliant."

 

Ivy snapped her head to look at Wanderer, "Excuse me?"

 

Wanderer walked closer to Jack, "A viral meme is just self replicating magic, when you think about it. If Jack can modify any non-living object, including a magic infused item, then why does he need the item to modify the spell? Why not just go directly to modifying the magic itself?" She frowned deeply, "I just have no idea how. I mean, I could show you what I see when I look at someone's thoughts, but I don't know how to help you connect with it."

 

Jack gestured to Mike who was out cold in the corner, "Well, let's start there. Show me the thing in his head."

 

Ivy kept looking from Jack to Wanderer and back again before speaking up, "Do you two know each other?"

 

Both Jack and Wanderer tensed up for a moment before Jack turned to Ivy while pointing at Wanderer, "She's an Elo. They all share the same power set. I've been reading a lot since I got here."

 

Wanderer stared at Jack for a moment before turning to Ivy, "Jack has a very strong mind. It is hard not to hear his thoughts. It makes it easy to understand him."

 

Ivy looked surprised at that, "Really?"

 

Wanderer nodded, "He's basically shouting, but it's okay. He has a nice... er... voice, I guess is the word for it. Your language lacks proper context."

 

Jack stood next to Mike while trying to change the subject, "Okay. Hook me up." Wanderer walked over and touched Jack on the back of his head. Jack's eyes glazed over, "Wow... Is this what you see all the time?"

 

Jack's vision shifted and suddenly it looked like everyone in the room was made up of threads. He couldn't tell what the individual threads were specifically, but he knew they were all thoughts one kind or another. They had color to them, but not-color at the same time. It seemed like the color pattern was some sort of code, or language he didn't know how to read. When he focused in on Ivy, he could see there was a connection between the two of them. A single red thread that connected the two. It was far thicker on Jack's end than Ivy's, but it was there none the less.

 

Wanderer shook her head, "No. Whatever you are seeing is how your mind interprets what I'm showing you."

 

Jack reached out to grab the thread, but his hand went right through it. He frowned, "I can't feel it." His eyes went wide, "Wait. That's it." He closed his eyes, "Instead of a new type of sight, what if what I need is a new type..." He reached out into the space between them with his hand spread  wide "... of touch?"  He felt some sort of resistance as his finger pressed felt a slight amount of pressure, like what it feels like when you walk into a cobweb.

 

Suddenly the very air between Ivy and Jack lit up with a soft red glow. The glow spread from his hand towards both of them. As Jack opened his eyes, the glow hovered there in the air like a stretched out soap bubble.

 

Ivy looked at the glow, then up at Jack, "What is that?" Jack pumped energy into the mental thread in an attempt to strengthen it. He wasn't sure what it was he was making stronger, or what stronger would even BE, but whatever it was, he was going to enhance it like he had so many other things. The glow brightened and at the same time Ivy jumped a little, "Woah! I..." She touched her chest over her heart and took in a sharp breath, "What are you doing?" Her expression was a mixture of concern and wonder.

 

"Testing." Jack stepped away and the glow stopped. He looked at his fingertips, "Okay... Now all I have to do is figure out-" He paused, then snapped his fingers, "Hold it. Maybe we're looking at this backwards."

 

Jack turned and walked up to the monitor showing the unfolding the battle between Balloon Boy and Grease, "Why did he come all the way here JUST for Grease?" He mused out loud.

 

Sass looked like she was about to yell at Jack for interrupting, but Grifter spoke first, "Actually that's a good question." She turned from the battle plans the group was working on, to the monitor, "Why did Balloon Boy come here of all places?"

 

Jack pointed at the monitor, "He was nowhere near here when he got infected, right? So he came to this base specifically FOR her. WHY?" He spun around to look at Mike duct taped up in a lounge chair. Jack ran up to Nine Volt, "Give me your inhaler! NOW." He held out his hand expectantly. Most of the room was pausing to see where Jack was going with all this.

 

Nine Volt blinked, but did as she was instructed, "What do you-"

 

Jack didn't answer. He just snatched it out of her hand and caused it to start glowing. He rushed over to Mike, ripped the tape off his mouth, then shoved in the inhaler. A moment later Mike's eyes flared open as he surged awake, "Stacy's Mom has got it going on?" He looked around, looking confused.

 

Grifter frowned, "What the-?" She turned to Ivy, "You mind getting your boyfriend under control?"

Ivy looked rather worried as she moved towards Jack, "Uh... You mind explaining what you are doing?"

 

Jack ignored everyone and shouted instead, "WANDERER! Compel him to tell the truth! NOW!"

 

Wanderer looked surprised, but didn't hesitate. She just touched her brow as she stared at Mike intently.

 

Jack grabbed Mike by the cheeks, "Why did you go after her?" He pointed at Nine Volt with his other hand.

 

Mike's face suddenly became contorted with pain. He looked like he wanted to answer, but all he could do was stutter, "St-St-Stacy's... MOM!"

 

Jack backhanded Mike across the face, "SNAP OUT OF IT!" He pointed at Nine Volt again as he grabbed Mike's hair, forcing him to look at the mechanic, "In a room full of nines and tens you went after the only five! WHY?"

 

Through gritted teeth Mike yelled, "HAS GOT IT GOING ON!" For some reason, he looked extremely offended at the numerical value Jack had assigned Nine Volt.

 

The subject of the conversation hurried over looking quite angry, "Hey! Leave Mike Alone! He can't answer you! The Virus only allows a victim to spread copies of itself!"

 

The rest of the room was just watching, trying to figure out what was going on, so they were all stunned when a gun glowing with a red aura leaped out of Jack's ankle holster and into his hand. He grabbed Nine Volt and spun her around, displaying her to Mike. Jack put her and Mike face to face as Jack put the gun to her head.

 

"I am going to kill her."

 

Everyone froze. Mike's eyes went wide as he stammered with terror, "St-St-Stacy's Mom???"

 

The glow of Jack's gun grew brighter with each passing moment. Jack pressed it hard against Nine Volt's Temple as he addressed Mike with a calm, yet sinister voice, "I am going to splatter her brains all over that wall behind you. She is going to die. Right Here, Right Now, if you don't-" He cocked back the hammer, "Tell... Me... WHY."

 

Sass was already leaping across the room to grab Jack when Mike, with sweat beading on his forehead, cried out at the top of his lungs.

 

"I LOVE HER!!!"

 

Jack let go of Nine Volt and backed off immediately, pointing his gun at the ceiling, just as Sass grabbed him. She lifted Jack up off the ground with one hand while crushing his gun with her other, "What Is Wrong With-" She stopped dead as she realized what happened and turned to look at Mike, "What did you say?"

 

Mike was sobbing as he focused on Nine Volt, "I'm sorry! I know you are married!" Tears started to roll down his cheeks as he turned to look at Nine, "I never should have dumped you! I'm sorry! I love you! I have always loved you. I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm Such An Idiot!" He let his head fall forward as he descended into blubbering as his confession continued.

 

Nine Volt stood there, not quite sure what to do. She went down on one knee and gave the bound man a hug as best she could. Wanderer stared intently at Mike, then turned to Sass, "It's gone." With no small amount of surprise, Sass dropped Jack.

 

He quickly rushed over to the main monitor, "You got it all wrong!" He gestured at the image of Nth Factorial, "It's not a lust virus!" He pointed in the direction Grease had left, "Its a REGRET Virus! It's fuckin' contagious FOMO!"

 

Golden Knight spoke up from the back, "What, pray tell, is Fomo?"

 

Jack looked back at her, "F. O. M. O. Fear Of Missing Out." Jack arched his eyebrows and shrugged, "It just happens that not having sex with someone who got your motor running turns out to be one of the bigger regrets in most people's lives."

 

Nth Factorial's image flickered for a second, "Interesting deduction. I'll transfer your conclusion to the sub processor working on the counter memetic."

 

Jack snorted, "You think some generic, A.I. generated tune is going to cut it? What we need is raw emotion!" He pointed at Mike, "That's what broke him out of it!" Jack started to pace back and forth while repeatedly hammering his fist into his other hand, "What can we use? What can we..."

 

Nth Factorial ignored Jack's emotional outburst, "Unit Jack Cooper. Music functions well as a carrier for counter memetics. It would be fortunate if we had a song nobody had heard before to use in such a capacity. However, the national strategic reserve of catchy tunes was exhausted before this outbreak. My calculations show that none of the remaining stockpile will function in a satisfactory manner. An entirely new carrier will need to be designed. In the meantime, we will proceed with the current plan. This team is not the only team I am currently coordinating and there are far better uses of its time than speculation."

 

~We got a million unheard songs from our world. What about a super cheerful song? Puff the magic dragon or It's a wonderful world?~

 

Jack mumbled to himself, "No. Not a cheerful song. An uplifting song about..." He looked at Grifter, "You ever hear a song called 'We Are The Champions'?"

 

Grifter tilted her head to the side, "By Fran Mercury from King?"

 

Jack grit his teeth and spit out a curse, "Fuck."

 

~How about Mister Blue Sky?~

 

Jack jumped on the nearest terminal and called up GooHoo. One internet search later, he started tapping the side of his head, "I think I got one from my world nobody on your planet has ever heard before." He looked up at Nth Factorial, "Okay. I think I know how to reverse this. Here's what we-"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Before Jack could go any further, Nth Factorial cut him off with a single word.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"No."