Ch 60 – My Cupcakes Bring All The Girls To The Yard
"Best Cupcakes In Empire City"
Jack recited the sign to himself as he stood before Heid's Bakery. According to a GooHoo search, the bakery claimed to have the best cupcakes in town. Although Jack wasn't overly concerned with whether they were truly the best. He simply had made a commitment to bring cupcakes to Myrtle for their date and didn't want to take any chances with his own baking abilities. The bakery was bustling with customers, and Jack soon discovered why so many women had gathered there to purchase pastries.
While waiting in line, Jack observed the scene before him. The young men working behind the counter at Heid's Bakery were impressively built, sporting tight half shirts that displayed their abs. The words "Tasty Cakes" were written across their chests. Most of the customers were women, and Jack couldn't help but notice the flirtatious behavior of the workers. Jack had plenty of time in line and spent it observing the young men as they flirted with the customers.
The body language was rather eerie to jack. They laughed, fidgeted, flipped their hair, and leaned in when speaking with customers. As a male, this type of behavior was foreign to Jack, and he felt uneasy seeing young men acting in such a manner. He was so lost in his thoughts that he was caught off guard when the large mammal in front of him, a rather overweight man, got into a heated argument with the cashier.
"You Think I Can't Do Basic Math?"
The cashier sighed, "Sir, I'm sorry, but we round everything up to the nearest quarter because we are very busy and don't have time to deal with pennies, nickels, and dimes." The cashier then pointed at a sign on the counter that explained this policy. A policy the warbling jello that walked like a man refused to even acknowledge.
A chubby finger was stabbed at the price board behind the counter, "Why aren't all the prices rounded up then?"
The cashier let out a sigh and put on a condescending smile. "Unfortunately, sales tax complicates things and we have to include it on the receipt, exactly as is. That's why we round the final price AFTER calculating it." He then turned to Jack as if the matter was now settled, "Next in line, may I take your-"
The man jumped in, "I AM NOT FINISHED, YOU SLUTTY PIECE OF SHIT!!! I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!!!"
The cashier was about to say something to the annoying customer who interrupted him, but was fixated on Jack. The young worker stepped back, appearing nervous, as the irate customer turned to see what had caught the cashier's attention. The belligerent man was puzzled as he slowly turned to look at Jack.
Jack had become the very embodiment of fear.
With a decade of experience as a bill collector, Jack had mastered the art of instilling terror in others through his mere presence. In a commission job, if you don't collect money, you don't get paid, and you don't eat. Starvation is a fine motivator for learning how to read people. In a job where survival relied on collecting payments, he had honed the skill of manipulating his body language to an unsettling degree. He knew how to loom over others, to fix them with an intimidating gaze, to convey a sense of danger without uttering a single word. When Jack slipped into collector mode, just the sight of him was enough to make even the bravest soul question if where they currently were standing was really that important and if maybe they had better places to be.
This was before Jack received his super powers.
Jack had become increasingly frustrated with the obese man's aggressive behavior and it showed on his face. Jack's shoulders were squared, his jaw was tense, and his eyes glowed with an, intense, red, jagged flame-like energy that periodically shot out to the sides. Jack just walking around was not an approachable person, but when he got angry, he transformed into quite the frightening figure. His intimidating presence was palpable, making it clear that he was not to be trifled with.
Jack sneered and snapped his eyes to look at the cashier, "How much money are we talking about that this man happens to be wasting my time over?"
The cashier swallowed nervously. "Uh, nine cents?" A bead of sweat appeared on his forehead. Jack suddenly plunged his hand into the chest pocket of his trench coat.
The fat man threw up his flabby arms to shield his face, "Not in the face!"
Jack pulled out a wallet.
The man gradually lowered his arms as he realized he wasn't about to be shot. Jack opened his wallet, retrieved a fifty-dollar bill, and slammed it on the counter. "I'll pay for Carl's cupcakes," He said gruffly. Jack snatched the box of pastries and pushed it into the man's hands. "Take your food and leave right now..." As Jack spoke, the red aura in his eyes flowed down to his clothing, emphasizing the danger in his words, "Before I'm forced to take... DIRECT action."
The object of Jack's ire quickly turned and fled, pushing past the line of people to escape the bakery. Jack turned back to the cashier, but noticed a red glow reflecting off the glass case displaying the cupcakes. He realized his clothes were what was causing the glare, "Whoops!" Jack snapped his fingers and the aura disappeared. "Uh, sorry about that," He said apologetically.
The cashier blinked as it appeared that Jack went from being on the edge of becoming a violent psychopath shooting up to place, to being as calm as still water on a windless pond, "Uh... What just happened? What direct action were you going to take?"
Jack hooked a thumb over his shoulder at the exit, "I just paid for cupcake Carl's cupcakes. May they rest in peace as they go directly to his thighs." He smirked, "As for direct action, I was going to directly ask him to leave."
The cashier just blinked.
Jack looked up at the sign behind the cashier, "Now let's see... I'll take... Women like Chocolate in this world, right? Everyone likes chocolate." He started pointing at the display case, "I'll take an assortment. Six chocolate cupcakes and six regular, with a mix of frosting. Ooo! I'll take the one with the..." He blinked, "Do you have any with pink hearts? I only see blue ones."
The cashier squinted, "Pink hearts? Why would we make them pink? We really don't have time to make any custom orders right now." Jack opened his mouth, but thought better of what he was going to say and just shook his head. He gestured to the blue heart and shrugged to indicate it didn't matter. The cashier picked one to add to Jack's box.
A tap on Jack's shoulder caused him to turn and face a timid woman who was slightly taller than him. She expressed her gratitude with a thumbs up and said, "Thanks." Jack noticed that several women in the line behind her were nodding in agreement, indicating that the disruptive man was not just causing frustration to Jack, but to others as well.
Just as Jack finished paying for his cupcakes, the front door was flung open, "THERE HE IS, OFFICER! THAT'S THE MAN WHO TRIED TO KILL ME!!"
Jack looked left, then right, then at the fat man who had returned with two police officers. Jack pointed at himself calmly, "Me?"
As the chubby man approached Jack, he began to shout, "He threatened to blast me with his eye rays just because I wouldn't let this kid steal my money!" The man's arms were flailing as he spoke energetically. In his excitement, he swung his arm around and smacked the box of cupcakes out of Jack's grip. The box tumbled through the air and landed upside down on the ground.
Jack's eyes started to flare red as the whole room went silent.
Jack lifted a hand, the fingers curling into a fierce grasp. A bright red glow radiated from his fingertips, mirroring the aura in his eyes. He glared at the man with a look that could best be described as 'Homicidal'. The cops placed their hands on their guns in a threatening manner, "Everyone, please remain calm!"
Jack swiftly moved away from the irksome man and approached his upturned order. He extended a hand and touched the box, causing it to lift into the air and open. Inside, the cupcakes were in disarray but as Jack gestured with his hands, the same red aura that had been in his eyes flowed over the pastries, mending them back to their original appearance. The onlookers were amazed as Jack conducted the restoration of his cupcakes. In less than a minute, the cupcakes were as good as new and the box closed itself. Jack snatched it out of the air as he turned to the cops.
Jack smiled up at the tall ladies standing over him, "Sorry about that, ladies. There seems to be some sort of misunderstanding." Jack pointed at himself, "I'm a technopath. I can repair broken objects, but I have no direct control over living creatures." He glared at the now flabbergasted fat man, "I certainly don't have 'eye beams' capable of blasting someone.
The man warbled with fury and stomped over to the police women, "He still threatened to kill me!"
"No he didn't!" The cashier chimed in. Most of the people who were waiting in line nodded and echoed the cashier.
The troublemaker whimpered in a pathetic voice, "Are you going to believe the boy who tried to steal my hard earned money?
By now the manager had finally come out, "What's going on?" She demanded to know, but her attitude softened when she spotted the police, "Oh. Hello officers. What's the problem?"
The cashier looked at his boss and started pointing around the room as he explained what happened, "This man came in and kept changing his order. He wanted a special order but I told him we can't do that at this time of day. He finally made up his mind and when I brought him his cupcakes, he paid in cash and ignored the sign that says we round up all cash purchases!" The cashier pointed at Jack, "This guy paid for the other guys cupcakes to shut him up and then that guy went and got the cops to claim that this guy had threatened to kill him!"
"That's not what happened!" Whined the chubby fellow.
Someone held up a phone, "I recorded the whole thing, if someone wants to check." The cops looked over at the woman who spoke up. She wiggled the phone while she grinned at the annoying man, "I just uploaded it to FaceTube. You can find it under, 'Karl asks for the manager'."
"MY NAME'S NOT KARL!" Then proceeded to start crying crocodile tears while wailing about how hard it is to be a man who had to live in an oppressive matriarchy and periodically stomping his foot like a petulant child.
Adam chimed in, ~Wait... a male cashier and a male customer were the ones giving him trouble, two female cops came to help him, and he's claiming to be oppressed by women? Please tell me this moron is the exception, not the rule.~
Jack rubbed his eyes, "I don't care." He looked at the blubbering man, "Just... Grow up." He turned to the cops, "I got a date. It's why I'm buying cupcakes. You mind?" Jack gestured to the exit and looked hopeful he'd be allowed to leave.
The cops looked at each other, then one shook her head, "I need you to wait a bit while I confirm all this. I think I know where this is going, but we have to be sure."
Eventually Jack would get out of there, and unknown at the time, the video would soon go viral.