I was summoned by a super villainess to another universe

"And as she spread wide her lushes legs, I found her meat umbrella unfurled, wet, and waiting for me."

 

 

 

Jack snapped shut his copy of the book, 'A Dangerous Woman'. He adjusted the Bluetooth earphone he had taken to wearing so as to not appear crazy while talking to Adam. "This book is terrible. I can't understand how it became a bestseller, let alone a movie."

 

~Three movies. It's apparently a trilogy now.~

 

"You don't need to point out things like that. I was quite happy to live in ignorance." Jack muttered as he surveyed the view from his subway car. It had just emerged from underground and was now on an overpass, offering a stunning view of Empire City with its mix of architectural styles. The buildings ranged from the 1920s to the present to the occasionally futuristic. The view was periodically interrupted by the sight of new construction or damaged buildings being repaired. You could say a lot of things about Empire City, but one thing you couldn't say was it was dull. This was a sharp contrast to the grey suit Jack favored. He reflexively reached up to pull down the brow of his fedora as sunlight from the low sun came crashing into the previously dim cabin.

 

~I guess a city reflects its people.~

 

With nothing urgent on his schedule, Jack had decided to take a leisurely tour of the city, something he had never done in his old world. He had always absorbed knowledge of New York City through osmosis, but now he wanted to make a deliberate effort to get to know his new home. It wasn't just out of curiosity, but also as a means of survival. The more he learned about Empire City, the more he realized how much more dangerous this new world was.

 

"I think you'll find most modern literature is of abysmal quality, I'm afraid." Someone commented

 

 

Jack turned to find the one who spoke to discover a man sitting across from him. Jack didn't remember seeing the man on the train or see him sit down for that matter. Maybe he had missed the man while he was absorbed in his book, or maybe the man teleported. It wouldn't be the strangest thing Jack witnessed in Empire City.

 

The man sitting there was unlike most of the people Jack had met since arriving. This man was tall and lean, but did not come across as delicate, which bucked the current trend. He was an older gentleman with a long face, hollow cheeks and a hint of grey at the temples. Dressed in a brown tweed three-piece suit, with a matching bow tie and trilby, he was casually resting a dark wooden cane across his knees. It stood out with its silver knob handle intricately carved with old English heraldry, such as fire-breathing lions standing on their hind legs and shields. At a time when many men dressed in flashy, attention-grabbing clothing, this man's sense of style was remarkably understated.

 

Jack instantly liked him.

 

He held up the paperback to show his new companion the cover, "A gift from a friend. Not sure about her tastes, but it's the thought that counts."

 

The man spun the cane around making a loud 'clack' sound as the tip came in contact with the metallic floor. He leaned on it so he could angle closer to Jack as he spoke, "A suggestive gift from a girlfriend, you say? How curious."

 

Jack frowned as he shook his head dismissively, "Whoa. No. Not a girlfriend. Just a..." His voice went soft as he stared at the book in thought, "...friend?"

 

The rolled his eyes and let out a jolly laugh, "Please. Men and women cannot be friends, at least not for long." He straightened up and lifted his cane to hold it in the middle and gently tapped the book with the silver knob, "Especially if she's giving you a book about 'meat umbrellas'." The man rolled his eyes and shivered as if the very words had contaminated him and by shuddering he could fling the stain from his mind.

 

Jack stared at the energetic man, then back at the book, "Wait... did I friend-zone her?"

 

The man quirked an eyebrow and leaned away, "Friend... zone?" He cleared his throat in a manner that implied he was a heavy smoker, "I am not familiar with this term, but I can assume by the usage, it implies that you do not see her as a romantic companion."

 

Jack looked up at the man and abruptly laughed, "Wow. You have got to be some english noble or something."

 

The man blinked and pulled away in surprise, "My word... you are an observant fellow." He leaned back in and spoke in a lower, conspiratorial tone, "What gave it away?"

 

Jack smirked, "The trilby." The man furrowed his eyebrows and then raised them as his eyes rolled up in an attempt to look at the hat on his head. Jack shrugged and explained, "My hat is a fedora. It's a hat that fits snugly on your head, and it's a hat of action. You can run with a fedora. But a trilby? That's the sort of hat that falls off if you look at it funny. You have to be careful with a hat like that. It says, 'I take my time because I can'. It's the sort of hat you wear when you don't have to rush." He then lifted both hands and held them out to the sides, "OR... when you expect everyone else to have to wait for you."

 

Jack adjusted his own hat, tipping it towards the man in the process, "You have a slow hat, the kind of hat a man of importance might wear." He rolled his hand in the air, "Combine that with your way of speaking, the slight accent you've picked up from traveling and that fancy cane of yours, it seems quite obvious."

 

The man frowned, but not in a bad way. He frowned in a way that seemed to indicate this was a most serious matter and a most serious matter requires a most serious face. The man quirked an eyebrow and nodded slowly, "So my hat says I am unburdened by haste, you say." Slowly a smile grew on his face before he laughed, "Well then, my hat is perfect for that is exactly what I want everyone to think about me." Suddenly he looked sad and stared off into the distance, "There was a time everyone wore hats."

 

Jack looked off in the same direction and nodded, "Yeah. People wore hats because hats told people who and what you were. Your hat was your job, or your identity. You knew what a man did, or what sort of woman you were dealing with just by looking at their hat. I think that's why nobody wears hats anymore. They don't want to be defined. They don't want to have a 'place'." He shook his head slowly, "It was easier when people knew the rules."

 

The man looked at Jack out of the corner of his eye, "You sound like a man from a different time."

 

Jack nodded and turned back to the conversation, "I feel like it. I think I was born about half a century too late."

 

The man nodded slowly, "I can relate." He continued nodding for a moment before looking surprised. "Oh my, I've been quite rude! I haven't introduced myself." He switched his cane to his right hand and offered his left in greeting, "Charlton Hieronymus-Nial Od, Viscount of Odford, England."

 

Jack shook the hand firmly, "Jack Cooper." The man flinched at hearing the name, but only for a second, his friendly demeanor returning almost immediately. Jack slowly let go and looked concerned, "Problem?"

 

Charlton paused then sighed as he shook his head dismissively, "No no no. Sorry. It's not you. That name brings back bad memories." He was again wearing that serious frown, "From the war."

 

Jack winced, "Oh. THAT." He looked away to avoid Charlton's eyes, "I wasn't around for that."

 

The old man narrowed his eyes slightly, "No... I don't suppose you'd have been around for that. You are far too... young."

 

Jack blew out a long breath, "Oh... I was more NOT AROUND then just too young."

 

Charlton quirked a single eyebrow, "I'm sorry?"

 

Jack looked sideways at his companion, "Try not to freak out."

 

The old man looked amused, "Son, I assure you, I am well past the age where a man freaks out about anything."

 

Jack nodded, "I assume you know WHO has that name from THIS world, yes?"

 

The old man frowned. This frown was not a serious frown. This frown was a most UNHAPPY frown.

 

Jack pointed out the window, "Someone tried to summon him back to this world and they got the wrong address." He pointed at himself, "I'm that guy's lame extra-dimensional duplicate from Normal World."

 

The old man blinked rapidly, "I beg your pardon?"

 

Jack straightened up, "Picture a world without superpowers, magic, demons, angels, super science, aliens or... anything exciting. A world full of dull, normal humans, living dull, normal lives." He shrugged, "That's where I'm from. Got dragged here by some cultists and... BOY were they surprised when I showed up instead and couldn't... you know... anything!" Jack smiled and tried to play it off as humorous.

 

Charlton just stared at Jack.

 

Jack's smile faded and he looked away nervously, "Yeah... so... ummm..."

 

"You are a brave man for admitting such a thing." Charlton slowly drew in a long breath and let it out slowly, "Another time I think I might have tried to kill you on principle." Jack's eyes went wide as he snapped his head back to look at the man sitting next to him.

 

Charlton gave Jack a thin smile, "Years ago, that is. I've gotten over the scars of the past." He nodded very slowly, "You... are quite possibly... the most unlucky man I have ever met."

 

Jack hunched forward and looked at the metallic floor beneath his feet, "Not sure if I can argue with you about that." Jack felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at Charlton who was smiling at him.

 

"You aren't him. I can tell. There is something about you." Charlton gestured at his own face with his cane, "Its in the eyes. I looked into his eyes once. I had hopes of seeing something I could reason with, but..." He shook his head slightly, "No. There was nothing. Not a shred of humanity, nor mercy. He was just evil." He looked off into the distance at the sun as it slowly slipped beneath the horizon, "Some people claim there is no good or evil, that they are just... concepts. But... if you met him, you would know." He looked back at Jack, "Evil exists. It is a tangible thing. You can touch it, and if you let it, it can possess you. Control you. Take you over completely."

 

It was Jack's turn to quirk an eyebrow as Charlton squeezed Jack's shoulder, "I can tell just sitting here next to you." He shook his head as he stood up, "You're not evil. Regardless of what connection you might have with him, no matter how slight or strong it might be. You're not even close." He gave Jack a final pat on the shoulder before removing his hand, "I'm afraid this is where I get off."

 

Jack looked around and failed to realize that the train had come to a stop, "Oh? Uh, hey! I don't have anything to do. You mind if I tag along?"

 

Charlton smiled back at Jack as he walked to the exit doors, "I am afraid I do. I have an appointment to keep and it is a private matter."

 

Jack looked disappointed and nodded, "Ah. Right. Hey. Maybe we can hang out some time? I like the cut of your jib." Jack reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, "Uh, you wanna exchange phone numbers?"

 

Charlton paused at the doors and looked uncomfortable. He sighed, and shook his head at Jack, "I'll be blunt. I'm straight. Sorry." He then tipped his hat, "Farewell, Mister Cooper." Then turned to leave.

 

Jack's eyes went wide and he was so shocked by Charlton's assumption that he failed to say anything else before the doors closed.

 

 

---

 

 

As the train pulled away, Lord Od got lost in the crowd. As soon as he felt he was no longer in direct line of sight from any cameras, he took a pill, swallowed it, and a moment later he was able to move at truly transcendental speeds. He zipped down from the train platform and traveled up and down the city streets, criss-crossing it several times, until he found an empty alleyway where he come to a halt, unobserved.

 

The whole time he held his cane in one hand, and kept his hat in place with the other.

 

Coming to a halt and returning to normal time, he held up his cane and stared into the knob, "Did you get it?"

 

The cane projected a blue hologram outline of a computer readout, with strange arcane symbols scrolling past at a blinding speed, but at a virtual crawl to the old man. He abruptly stabbed the hologram to stop it from scrolling, "There." He took a deep breath, "You sure?" The cane made several bleeps and bloop sounds, which was actually English, but at such a high speed it sounded like a series of bleeps and bloops.

 

The old man nodded, "So he's exactly who we need. Well, that's one problem solved." He took a deep breath, "But first..." He sighed and walked over to the wall to lean against it. He crossed his arms and started drumming his fingers on his cane as he waited.

 

A minute later there was a rush of air.

 

Standing next to Charlton was a Greek Adonis-like figure. He was huge, with a barrel chest, rippling abs, flowing black hair, square jaw, high cheekbones, and a strong resemblance to the old man holding his hat in place against the gusting wind. The new arrival was dressed in a red jumpsuit with a large yellow 'W' on his chest, and yellow boots to match. He was the one and only Wonder Guy, arms folded, hovering in the air near the old man.

 

To say Wonder Guy looked unhappy would be like saying Hiroshima was a mild case of unexpected renovations.

 

"What are you doing here?" Wonder Guy growled.

 

Lord Od looked up, "Hmm? Oh. I had a pebble in my shoe. Just got it out." He wiggled his foot around while pressing down, "Always takes a while-"

 

"WHAT..." Wonder Guy pinched the bridge of his nose and calmed himself down, "What are you doing in AMERICA, Caffiend?"

 

Charlton humphed, "Please, I retired. And I told you to call me Gramps. I AM your great-great grandfather, you know. Furthermore, do I really need an excuse to visit you?"

 

Wonder Guy dropped to the ground, "You need a PASSPORT, which was taken from you by the United States GOVERNMENT after what you did LAST TIME." He stabbed a finger down the alleyway, "I should arrest you and haul you off to WASP!"

 

Charlton's shoulders sagged, "Look. Honest truth is... I'm getting old. I'm feeling the years and-"

 

Wonder Guy crossed his arms again, "We both know you are effectively immortal. You haven't aged in decades."

 

Charlton humphed, "How disrespectful." He shook his head and squared his shoulder, "You know, back in my day-" Wonder Guy cleared his throat and glared at Lord Od. Lord Od paused in mid-ramble, then let his shoulders drop, "Fine. I might have found a way to recover the amulet."

 

Wonder Guy's arms dropped as he abruptly took an aggressive step towards his ancient progenitor, "WHAT??"

 

Charlton nodded, "Yes. Don't have it all worked out yet, but-"

 

Wonder Guy lunged for Charlton, but paused a foot short with his hands held up like grasping claws, "You... LUNATIC! I have HAD IT with this obsession of yours! The Anti-Christ is BANISHED. The Legions of the Damned were defeated. The threat is GONE. Trying to...just... FUCK!" He turned away and smacked his forehead, "Maybe, it needs to stay lost. Okay? The world is getting along just fine without it."

 

Lord Od sighed and rubbed his forehead, "No. No it is not. We failed. I failed. We all failed. Everything I did to try to fix things only made things worse." He stepped up to grasp Wonder Guy's elbow, "I am going to ask one more time. HELP. ME."

 

Wonder Guy gently reached over with his other hand to flick Lord Od's hand away, "Why?"

 

"Because we are FAMILY." Charlton looked at Wonder Guy imploringly, "Please, Robert-"

 

Wonder Guy spun around to glare down at the old man, "Don't Call Me That. It's Wonder Guy. Got IT?"

 

Lord Od stared up at the angry young man and sighed as he let his eyes drop in defeat, "Yes. I got it."

 

Wonder Guy closed his eyes and rubbed them in frustration, "Look. I don't think you-" then stopped talking as he opened his eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because he was alone.