I didn’t ask to be the Demon Queen

I screamed. I must have. The world slowed down as I saw her slowly sag to her knees and I wrapped her in my arms, turning my back to the river. My back burned and I didn’t care. I said Sabine’s name over and over again but she didn’t respond to me. Her eyes lost their colour until they were white glass. It was getting harder to see as I realized my vision was filling with tears. There was shouting around us. I vaguely registered Mellie and Morgana firing arrows. I didn’t really get why. It didn’t matter to me, only Sabine did. Kazumi was there too. She was crying and saying something. I didn’t hear what. 

 

I remembered how I’d met Sabine. Wanting to fix what I’d broken. Knowing I could, the power in my chest burning with eagerness, with the desire to make right. It was there now, too, but it was different. It hurt, this time. I didn’t know. My eyes burned with tears that ran down my face and fell onto the lifeless body of my loved one, and I squeezed them shut. When I opened them, it was like they were on fire. I saw Kazumi, in front of me, glowing a soft orange. And Sabine, in my arms, fading with blue, seeping through my hands like a sand sculpture crumbling apart, energy dissipating and floating away on the wind, and I felt unimaginable pain burn in my chest with every grain of her being that fizzled into nothing. 

 

The whirling pain in my chest roared and snarled and I obeyed it, our desire and will one and the same and I felt a weight I’d never felt before in my hands. It was hard to make out what was happening as I cried, yelled and screamed her name over and over again. I saw the flecks that made up who she was drift away like leaves on a river and willed them, demanded that they stay with her.

 

Then, one turned around, and drifted backwards, abandoning its gentle escape to wherever souls go, and drifted back towards her. But they didn’t go into her. Sabine’s phylactery had been destroyed. Her body was a broken vase. Pouring who she was back into it would serve no purpose. Her light didn’t dim, but poured into my hands until I carried the full weight of her being, her memories leaking into my own. I held her against me, body and soul, and cried. Kazumi held us both and we cried. I felt more impacts against my back. I didn’t care. I just sat by the waterside and held her, held them, and cried. 

 

The ground rumbled. I didn’t care why. There was more noise around me, and there were footsteps all around us. Why should I care? Why would I? I focused only on Sabine until Kazumi was yanked away from me forcefully and I finally looked up. There were people all around us, scaled faces with angry eyes I’d never seen before. They had swords, spears and bows levied against me in a wide circle. All of them seemed to be wary of me, ready to attack me if I so much as moved. I wanted to tell them to stop, to go away, to leave me, leave us to our grief, but my voice halted in my throat. I tried to speak but found my mouth seemingly full of copper, full of hot liquid that made breathing hard. I tried to clear my throat and coughed blood. I frowned and passed out.

 

When I came to, the first thing I became aware of was the noise. It sounded a bit like horses. Immediately after, I felt my body shake and then came the pain. All of it. The grief and the loss that made me want to scream until the earth itself cracked open and I could drag my loved ones back into the world of the living. But there was more than that. My back burned. My chest hurt. Breathing was laborious and hurt, sending a stabbing pain up my spine with every breath. I tried to sit up but I felt a soft hand on my shoulder. I turned and saw Kazumi, and saw my own pain reflected in her eyes. We said nothing and cried. I wanted to reach up to her, take her hand, and felt my hand cramp. 

 

I realized it had been clenched shut into a tight fist. Opening it was painful, my fingernails had dug into my skin. But there was a weight there. I looked. In my palm was a stone, blue as ice, rough around the edges but beautiful. I knew what it was. Kazumi seemed to as well. We cried together, but there was a flicker of hope and a smile there. She wasn’t gone, not really, not entirely. Perhaps not for good. We held the sapphire together and Kazumi pressed her forehead against mine. Our tears mingled. We sat like that for a long time, until I finally had to lie back down, in too much pain to even lean over to her. 

 

“What happened?” I managed. My voice was a whisper, and it was hard to speak. The copper taste of blood still lingered in my mouth. Kazumi softly stroked my hair as she spoke. The concern in her eyes was almost painful to see. She must have been terrified of losing both of us. 

 

“The… The military found us. They knew who you were and used some kind of… holy weapons. You were hit. A… a lot.” Her voice cracked and I saw it was too hard for her to keep going. I wondered how bad my wounds had been. Going by the pain, it must have been bad. Worse if her reaction was anything to go by. I squeezed her hand.

 

“I’m okay, love,” I said. She put on a brave smile. “I love you. I’m not going anywhere.” Kazumi was already crying again. I took her hand in mine, the one holding the sapphire, and pressed it against my heart. “And neither is she,” I tried to say, but my voice broke and tears ran down my face again. I hoped against reason that I was telling the truth, but it was hard, hard to keep up hope. The loss was too fresh, still felt too keen. 

 

After a while, I looked around the room. It wasn’t very big, more akin to a large tent. It seemed to be dark out, the only light coming from a few lanterns hung around the room. It was sparse, but it had a bed and some low furniture, some pillows on the ground. It rattled softly and the room seemed to sway from side to side. 

 

“Where are we?” I managed. I remembered having a plan, a reason to cross the river, but with everything that had happened, I had no idea what it had been. I realized that the mages hadn’t followed us across the river, so in that sense I must have been onto something.

 

“We’re on the steppes,” Kazumi said. “I don’t know what they call it. We’re heading southeast, following the river, I think. I’m not certain, they don’t tell me much.” She bit her lip thoughtfully and I couldn’t help but smile ever so softly, grateful she was here. 

 

“Thank you,” I mumbled and my eyes fell shut again. I could hear her voice raise slightly with worry but I squeezed her hand again. “I’m okay. Just gonna…” and dozed off.

 

I woke up again a little later. It must have been some time, because it was clearly light out. The noise outside was louder than it had been before, a rumbling that was constantly present. I couldn’t see Kazumi anywhere, so I leaned up on my elbows. The pain was still there, still very real, but I had to assume some magic had been involved. If my injuries had been as bad as they’d felt, there was no way I’d be able to sit up as easily as I did. Bandages wrapped around my chest and midriff but I was still far from decent. I took the blanket I’d been nestled in and wrapped it around my shoulders. I stood up carefully and felt my horns graze against the top of the tent. It was clear this place wasn’t designed with people my size in mind. I stumbled over to what I figured was the entrance with difficulty. The constant swaying made me feel like I was on a ship, and an unsteady one at that. I pulled the cloth aside. The sun stung my eyes and it took me a moment to take stock of my surroundings. 

 

The first thing I saw was the Spines, the giant ridge of mountains, to my left. It seemed to stretch out infinitely across the horizon, infinitely far and infinitely large. To our right, in the distance, I saw the Dergow glittering in the mid-morning sun. And in front of us were the infinite steppes of the Dragonborn, slowly moving past us. I finally looked at “us”, beginning with my transport. I looked down and found myself standing on the back of a massive tortoise that held not just the tent I’d been in, but several others as well. There were several other of the massive beasts around us. They moved surprisingly fast for creatures this large. I saw children playing on one of them. It was warm, but the wind was cool, coming down from the mountains. The shell of the creature underneath me had already warmed up in the morning sun. 

 

Between the giant reptiles ran smaller creatures, two-legged and feathered, that squawked at their riders. Their plumage was bright and colourful, and as I looked at them I saw that many of their colours had been painted on. Every single one of the mounts had been adorned with bright paints and trinkets. Which drew my eye, invariably, to the riders, to the people that occupied the moving town around me. 

 

Every single one of them was dragonborn, their elongated reptilian faces hardened by the steppen-sun and sands. They ranged in a wide variety of colours, some as brown as the earth beneath their transport’s feet, some a deep red, and a few were green and even a dark blue. And every single one that saw me glared at me as if I’d personally slighted them. Mothers took their children away, and the ones on the giant bird-like mounts kept an eye on me, their hands on their weapons at all times. I wondered what I’d done to them. As far as I understood it, the Dragonborn had been the Demon Queen’s allies, but there was hostility in the air I couldn’t place. 

 

A rider on a different creature rode alongside us. It was four-legged and a lot larger than the others, and I saw what looked like holsters on its sides. I realized those were harnesses, that this creature could carry a dozen people easily. Though, for obvious reasons, I wouldn’t fit in them. 

 

“Come with me,” he shouted up at me. I looked around. He’d definitely addressed me, but he was easily a dozen feet below me. I didn’t think I could just jump down, not in my current state, and definitely not without crippling the creature. He saw my confusion and rolled his eyes, which was more than a little rude. I felt I was a prisoner, but I hadn’t done them any wrong. A little patience with someone who had no idea how to descend a tortoise should not be too much to ask for. 

 

He nodded to the creature’s front left leg, and I noticed that the ridge in its shell there had been carved into and adorned to form a kind of half-staircase, half ladder. I shrugged and carefully climbed down. I had to pause every step, the pain in my back and chest present whenever I moved my arms too high. Finally, I was standing on the lower half of the giant creature’s shell, and the rider moved his mount alongside me. It was still a big step, but I managed it with an unceremonious “oof.” I could swear I heard what I assumed to be my guard scoff. I didn’t pay him any attention, still looking around me. The tortoises were truly massive, and adorned with gems, paints and flags. 

 

He drove me to the largest of the creatures, the one in the middle of the pack. On its back was the largest of the tents, surrounded by several smaller ones. He held position alongside it and I assumed that this was where I got off. Awkwardly, I managed to grab a hold of the shell, and, even slower than before, climbed my way up. Once I reached the top, I saw several guards, all with their weapons drawn. More importantly, I could also see Kazumi and the others. Kazumi seemed overjoyed to see me. The others, the companions especially, were dour but seemed to brighten up slightly when they saw me. 

 

I was guided to the entrance to the giant tent. I didn’t have to duck to step inside, the flaps held aside by two guards who eyed me suspiciously. Inside the sounds of the giant caravan were slightly muffled, as was the light. It smelled wonderful in here and I realized I hadn’t eaten in… I had no idea how long. The last time I had a proper meal felt like days ago. 

 

“Please, sit,” a voice from my right said. It was gentle, with an air of authority. A little husky, a little playful. The tent was large enough, it seemed, to have alcoves. From one, a curtain was pulled aside and a woman stepped in. She was clearly Dragonborn, her scales a beautiful purple, her reptilian face elegant but alien to me, but she was different from the others. Maybe it was the horns that protruded from her head, adorned with little gems and strips of brightly coloured cloth. Maybe it was the air she exuded, that made you feel safe and calm, like everything was going to be okay. Or maybe it was the fact that she was roughly nine feet tall. She looked me directly in the eyes. 

 

“I didn’t expect to see you so soon,” she said with a half-smile. 

 

“Wh--” I said. “Who…”

 

She laughed. If she didn’t have that feeling of calm surrounding her, I might have felt mocked. It was high, but not shrill. 

 

“You don’t remember, I take it?” 

 

I shook my head and gratefully sat down on the cushions as she’d asked. Breathing was harder standing up. I looked at her curiously. I felt like she was measuring me up without even looking at me.

 

“You don’t remember but you still came here. Curious,” she said, and very carefully carried a pot of tea from the alcove to the low table in front of me. 

 

“If you don’t remember me,” she said, “then to what do I owe the pleasure of a visit from my dearest sister?”