Canon Fodder

“Goddamn Weston, calm it down with this crap,” Kiba said as we walked back to the village. 

“What?” I asked, a smile on my face. “You 2 have been slacking lately. We haven’t had missions in a while. I thought it was a good idea to do some drills.” 

 

“I understand that, but even Akamaru is tired,” Kiba said. The white dog whimpered from within the boy’s coat. “Ever since you made Chunin you haven’t let up with the training.” 

 

“It’s only been a week.”

“A long ass week. Look, Hinata hasn’t said a word for hours,” Kiba said. 

“She didn’t talk before,” I retorted. 

“I talk,” Hinata whispered, but blushed as we looked at her. I laughed loudly and Kiba chuckled. We had been training more. With my new arm and leg weights I was trying to push myself in strength. I still couldn’t beat the 2 of them in a fight while wearing the weights, but I was getting close. I was finally experiencing my own DBZ training method, so I was enjoying it. 

 

We got back to the village, but I was surprised to find a crying Sakura waiting outside. “Sakura, what’s wrong?” I asked, walking up to her. 

 

“Weston, they were looking for you,” she said. “It’s Sasuke. He left the village. He went to Orochimaru. Shikamaru left with Naruto, Neji, Choji, and Tenten.” 

 

“Fuck!” I said. I kept waiting for it to happen. Kiba was supposed to be with that group, not Tenten. “Why the fuck are you hanging out here, Sakura?! Let’s fucking go. Kiba, Akamaru find those smelly bastards.” 

The duo nodded and we were out of the village. “The Hokage didn’t send us!” Sakura yelled from the back of the line. 

 

“I don’t give a fuck about the Hokage!” I spat ripping off my wrist and ankle weights as I threw them in my Status Screen. “I thought you were a ninja, Sakura. Why are you sending Naruto off to fight your fights?” 

 

“Calm it down, Weston,” Kiba said. I looked back and Sakura had stopped following. I growled. Jumping back I grabbed her by her collar. We were soon back behind Kiba. 

“Sakura, I know you love Sasuke or whatever,” I said. “And Sasuke dumped you or something, right? Wooptyfucking doo, you’re like 12. There are a hell of a lot of years ahead of us before we should worry about love. But Naruto is out there risking his life trying to bring his friend back. That tells me his friendship with Sasuke is stronger than your puppy love. So, if you want me to try to help you, then you need to put as much effort into trying to get the guy as Naruto is. Do you understand?” 

She frowned but nodded. Wiping her eyes as she continued to jump from branch to branch. I released her.

“Good, now walk me through what happened.”

“I don’t know. He and Naruto fought today,” she said. “He was acting different. I knew something was up. He said he was leaving. I told Tsunade and she sent Shikamaru and the others.” 

 

“Fuck fuck fuck,” I said. I hoped I didn’t mess anything up. Kiba was supposed to be there. Every one of them fighting and giving their all to defeat guys stronger than them. I really did not want Tenten to die. I knew the sand ninjas were supposed to step in, but for all I knew I messed that up too.

 

“Okay. Faster,” I ordered. And we continued on. It took time to find the first fight. Between the fat Orochimaru lackey and Choji it was a great fight that I had wanted to watch. The overweight Choji showed his badass resolve as he ate secret family pills that burned up all his fat, increased his strength exponentially, but also risked his life. 

We found Choji walking away from the beat up lackey. “Choji!” I yelled. He slowly turned to show his skinny face. I pulled out the energy pills I kept. “Eat these quick,” I said. “They’re chocolate.” 

“I have to get to the others,” he said in a daze. Then his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fainted. 

 

“Shit, Hinata,” I said. “Run him back to the village.” She nodded. Grabbing the lightweight Choji she threw him over her shoulder and headed back. 

 

“On the smell?” I asked Kiba. He nodded and we were jumping around once more. I couldn’t remember who was supposed to fight next. Kiba or Neji. I was worried I’d find a dead Tenten ahead. Speeding up the others followed Kiba. 

My question was answered as we found a kneeling Neji. I leapt toward him. Landing I kneeled in front of him. His foe was beaten behind him. “Weston?” He asked. I looked down to the 2 large holes in Neji’s body. 

 

“It’s me buddy,” I said. “You’re going to be fine.” 

“I won,” Neji said. 

“You did, now rest, we will take care of the rest,” I said. He nodded as his body finally relaxed. I stood making a shadow clone he picked Neji up in a princess carry. I wished I had a camera to show him a picture later, but I didn’t. My clone headed back to the village with Neji in hand. 

“Is he going to be okay?” Kiba asked, unconvinced.

“Neji is strong, he will be fine,” I said. “Let’s make sure the other’s are.” Kiba nodded and we were on our way. 

“Smells split here,” Kiba said stopping on a tree. “2 go off that way, the rest go there,” he said. 

“Who are the 2?” I asked. 

 

“1 is Shikamaru,” he said. 

 

“Oh thank god,” I said. If anyone could survive it was him. I was pretty sure he was fine. “Kiba, Akamaru, can you go back up Shikamaru? He can hold them still, you beat the hell out of them.”

Kiba nodded and Akamaru barked. “Don’t underestimate them!” I yelled. 

“Yeah yeah,” Kiba grumbled. 

“Come on, Sakura,” I said, running in the direction he pointed. We had been mostly going in a straight line so I wasn’t terribly worried we would miss them. 

 

“How are you doing this?” Sakura asked. “Sending him off? Not worrying?” 

 

“Of course I’m worried,” I said. “Kiba could die and it would be on me. But we chose this life. Ninja’s are not going to come home every night. They are going to hold grudges and make mistakes and die.” I eyed her as she kept up. “You know that Sasuke needs to go, right?” 

 

She wiped more tears as they formed. “Then why are you doing this? Why bother?” 

 

“Because they are risking their lives. We honor that by risking ours. I couldn’t give a flying fuck about Sasuke. He is so far up his own ass he can taste what he ate for lunch. All he sees is revenge. He would kill you and everyone else in the village if it meant it would help him kill his brother,” I said. “And you know what happens when he gets his revenge?!” I asked, my eyes filled with anger as I stared at her. 

“He attacks the village. He attacks you, Naruto, everyone in some childish quest for more revenge. And what do you Sakura? Stick with him. I don’t get it, I don’t care. This guy is bad fucking news.”

“I can’t help how I feel,” she cried again. 

“I know,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I know. But have some self-respect Sakura. Get your own dream. Stop trying to crush his. If he wants revenge, let him go get it. If he is ahead I am going to kick his ass. Then I’m going to leave him there to go do what he wants. You grab him, leave with him, whatever you want, but I’m kicking his ass.” 

 

“But Orochimaru wants his body,” she said. 

“Orochimaru missed the window. Sasuke will be safe for 2 years. And by that time he will be strong enough to kill that snake,” I said. 

“How do you know this?” She asked. 

 

“I know because I need to,” I said. “Sasuke is on the path he needs to be. He will be safe, and if all goes well you will see him in 2 years.” 

“How am I supposed to-” I stopped as I saw them ahead. 

Tenten was being choked out by a big puppet. I sped up, using my full strength as I closed the distance. “Tayuya!” I yelled out.

The red haired woman turned to see me. Flute in hand her eyes went wide as she started to play the flute again. The puppet released Tenten, dropping her to the ground. Sakura moved for her. 

“You do that Tayuya and I’ll put you back in the pillow room!” I warned. The Orochimaru lackey faltered as she blew on the flute. The large puppet stopped it’s movement as she did. “Better,” I said. “Now are you going to give up?”

“I can’t!” She yelled. “Orochimaru will kill-” 

 

“Orochimaru doesn’t give a crap about you!” I yelled. “He will be dead in 2 years time. So you have a chance to turn away from him, right now. Your friends were beat up. You can come with me to the leaf, or you can escape. But you will not be laying a hand on my friends.” 

 

She chewed her lip. I jumped toward her. Passing her puppet I noticed the hand holding the flute was shaking. When I landed on the same branch as her there were tears in her eyes. “Are you serious that he will die?” 

 

“He will,” I said. “You already failed to bring Sasuke back in time. Come with me.” 

“I have the cursed seal,” she said. She had lines tattooed all over her body.

“Yes, you do,” I said. “Can he track you with it?” She nodded. “Then we will get rid of it.” 

“No, it gives me power,” she said.

“It’s not worth it. You know that. Orochimaru is a sick fuck. And if it meant he could live an extra day he would wipe out humanity from existence,” I said.

We stared at one another. I was glad my treatment of her during the exam had lingered. I guessed I really had rocked her world. She was visibily struggling with what to do. 

“Am I interrupting something?” A voice asked. It was cold and angry at the same time. I turned to see Temari. 

 

“Temari, fuck you got here earlier than I thought,” I said. I turned back to the red head. “Just go, but when you change your mind. Find me. I will help you, Tayuya.” The Orochimaru lackey gulped but jumped back. Her puppet disappeared as she got far enough away.

“What the hell was that?” Temari asked. “Who was she?” 

“No one,” I said. I gave her a wide grin. “Jealous?” She tsked and I held back a laugh. “I assume you’re here to help this time. Come on.” She scoffed but followed as we began running.

“What are you doing here?” Sakura asked. Tenten was passed out on her back as we started heading in the same direction as before. 

 

“Konoha asked for help. We were on our way for another treaty so we offered it. I wasn’t told you were here,” Temari said, eyeing me.

“I’m on a less than official mission,” I said. “Glad you’re here. Your brothers too?” She nodded. “How’s Gaara?” 

She hesitated but answered, “Like a new person. What the hell did you say to him?” 

“Same shit I said to you, but he listened,” I said. We were quiet as we jumped. 

 

Eventually she admitted. “I never said thank you.” 

“You didn’t,” I said. She was quiet. “You still haven’t.” 

“Thanks!” She growled. “I’ll kill you,” she whispered. 

 

“You’re welcome to try. Maybe we should do a repeat of our last fight,” I said. She eyed me. “Back in the Chunin Exam. In the tournament room. I seem to remember a lot of sweating and cries of …pain.” 

“You bastard,” she growled but I saw a blush on her face. She was about to say something more but we came into the clearing as Gaara saved Lee. Pulling him back with his sand, Rock was deposited behind Gaara. The bone ninja extended his hands shooting his bone bullets. Gaara raised his sand wall blocking them. 

 

We ran up to them. “Hey Gaara,” I said as he finished talking to Rock. 

“Weston,” he said with a slight nod. 

“You look good. Less pale than the last time I saw you,” I said. He frowned but nodded. “Well, you got this boner?” 

 

“I will help,” Rock said. Gaara and I shared a look. He nodded and sand surrounded Lee’s legs making him trip. 

“You are recovering from surgery. You will stay and watch,” I said. 

“But-” 

“No buts,” I said. “Watch Tenten for us.” Sakura nodded, laying her next to him. Lee gasped and was soon making her comfortable. 

 

“I’m going to help my brother,” Temari said. 

“Fair enough. Give em hell. Will I see you before you leave this time?” I asked Temari. 

“Just go fight,” she barked. 

 

“Yeah yeah. Just giving them time to express their brotherly love for one another,” I said. “See you, boner guy. Sorry you’re about to die.” 

 

“What do you mean?” Gaara asked. 

 

“Uh that guy has a blood disease or something. He will be dead soon,” I said looking to the white haired man with rib bones sticking from his chest. “Either way. He is strong, so watch out.” 

 

Sakura and I ran away taking a long way around the boner guy. The fight started behind us soon enough and we ran. It took time but I knew we were close when we found the giant statues of Hashirama and Madara. 2 of the founders of the hidden leaf. It was also the location of the fight between Naruto and Sasuke. Called the Valley of the End. 

 

We got there and Sasuke was still in the middle of talking about his background. I stopped Sakura from jumping down. Listening in I knew everything. Sitting on the edge of the valley top they stood on the water yelling at one another. Then the fight began again. 

It was a good fight. Mainly fists, jumping between fighting on rock and water they were overly dramatic about everything. Sakura cried the whole time. I wished I had popcorn. I had front row seats to one of the best fights between the duo. 

 

Naruto was on the losing end though. I almost stepped in but then he was coated in the red chakra of the kyubi. Accessing more power of the 9 tails he started kicking Sasuke’s ass. I wished it had been appropriate to place bets. I knew who would win, but still. Naruto sure looked like he was going to win as he knocked Sasuke around. 

 

Sasuke got knocked into the stone wall below us. We leaned over watching as he was covered in black marks from his cursed seal. Then his hair turned white and skin turned gray as he activated the true power of the cursed seal. 

 

“Oh sick,” I commented as webbed finger wings spread out of Sasuke’s back. 

“What’s happening to him?”

“That cursed seal from Orochimaru. That is the final form. Pretty messed up. I understand he wants power, but he looks like a Dracula villain,” I said. 

“This isn’t funny,” Sakura said. “They’re giving their all.”

“They’re kids playing at adults,” I said. “A few years from now this fight will be nothing between the 2 of them. Fights between men are like talking. It’s how we get to know one another.” 

 

“Still, I can’t believe they’re going this far for…” 

 

“Friendship,” I said. “Willing to go this far for your love?” I asked. She looked to me. The pink haired girl didn’t have an answer. 

 

Naruto made a huge Rasengan. Sasuke made a large lightning Chidori. “They’re going to kill each other!” Sakura yelled and tried to jump down. 

“No,” I said grabbing her shoulder. “They will live. You get in the middle of that, you die.” As the energies collided they exploded in a black ball of energy, raising about halfway up to me and Sakura. I was impressed. I didn’t remember the explosion. As the light dimmed I looked down to see they were on a rocky area. 

 

Naruto was laying on the ground unconscious. Sasuke was over top of him. His ninja headband fell. 

 

“Okay, now’s your chance,” I said. She sighed and we ran down to the duo. Sasuke didn’t notice us. Stumbling, he slowly got up. When he did his eyes widened.

“You,” he said, his eyes on Sakura. 

 

“It’s me,” she said, not crying for once. 

 

“How long have you been here?” He asked, totally ignoring me. 

“Long enough,” she admitted. “I wasn’t sure what I would say given another chance, but now I do. I’m sorry you don’t deem me worthy to join you in your vengeance. I don’t agree with your method. But I have no right to judge it,” she let out a sigh. “If I never see you again. I hope you won’t regret your decision.” 

 

“I won’t,” he said then he turned to me. “You want to fight?” 

 

I laughed. “You wouldn’t stand a chance in your condition,” I said. “Na, I want a challenge. Go play with your snake. See you in a couple of years. Just know that when you try to attack Konoha, I will not hesitate to end you.” 

 

Sasuke frowned but turned to walk away. He ran away quickly. A very anticlimactic way to handle his exit. I let out a sigh. “Fuck, I didn’t kick his ass because you were here,” I said.

“Thanks,” Sakura whispered. 

“Yeah yeah,” I said, princess carrying Naruto. 

“No um, thanks for bringing me with,” she said. “I got to say what I wanted.” 

“It’s annoying to have a fight and think of better stuff to say, right?” I asked. “You got your chance to follow him. I’m surprised you didn’t.” 

“I thought about it,” she said as we started to head back to the village. “But maybe I had him built up in my head. Konoha is my home. My family lives there. Do you really think he will attack it?” 

“Not directly,” I said. “I don’t think so anyway. But he will declare war on us.” 

 

“Where do you get all this information?” She asked. 

“Cartoons,” I said as Kakashi dropped down in front of us. 

 

“Was I too late?” He asked looking around for Sasuke. 

“Yeah,” I said. “Don’t worry. He will be fine though. Just give it time.”