Canon Fodder

“I’m telling you, I’m not a Viltrumite,” I said for the 10th time. 2 of the blue residents were pointing some futuristic weapon at me. I guessed the weapons were lasers or something. Either way I didn’t want to get hit with them. I had dismissed Tabi so we could make a quick escape if needed, but for now I was really hoping I could convince them I came in peace. 

 

“Sounds like something a Viltrumite would say,” the male said. 

“Exactly,” the female said. I eyed her up and down, giving her a 7 out of 10 on the hot scale. So long away from a woman though, the guy was a 4 out of 10. The true torture was being so close yet so far from my goal. 

 

“Listen, if I was a Viltrumite, would I have let myself be arrested? I would simply fly away, and blow up whoever got in my way,” I pointed out. They squinted their eyes. 

 

“We’ve heard that Viltrumite’s like to infiltrate unsuspecting planets,” the female said.

“Yes, to impregnate their women and weaken them from the inside,” the male said. 

“Weaken the women?” I asked. 

“No, the planet.”

“How do you weaken a planet by sleeping with the women? Are your women like…connected to the planet?” I joked. Not exactly scared, I thought it best to have some fun.  

 

“No, they sleep with the women. Then infiltrate-” The man said, flustered but the woman cut him off. 

“Enough! What is your name Viltrumite?” 

“For the last time, I’m not a Viltrumite. I’m a man from Earth, thus an Earthling. We have our own Viltrumite infestation we are dealing with. I was sent to try to find help,” I said. 

“With that green wife of yours?”

“Who? What? Cath? No, that's a dude,” I said. Rubbing my face I was ready to start punching my way out of there. “Listen, I am no friend to the Viltrumites. I’ve been to 2 worlds that have been marked for their conquering, and honestly I’m lucky I made it off the last one.” I studied them but their Haki was clear, they weren’t buying it. 

 

“I know,” I said, practically reading their minds. “I look just like a Viltrumite. But have you ever seen a male Viltrumite without a mustache?” I asked. 

“You have a beard,” the female said.

“Yes, I’ve been on the run for a while. But Viltrumites only sport mustaches…maybe some handlebars if they’re feeling kinky,” I said. An idea hit me. “I’m young! That’s it. You’ve never seen a young Viltrumite, have you?” 

“They exist,” the male said as if I was an idiot.

“No they…” I said but stopped myself. I forgot that wouldn’t be found out until later. There weren’t a whole lot of Viltrumites left, at least there weren’t in canon. They kept a stranglehold on what they currently ruled, but barely. Most didn’t know that the mighty Viltrumite forces were controlled by a few dozen pure-bloods. 

 

“I want to meet your leaders,” I said. “The Coalition of Planets. You’re right…I am a Viltrumite. And I have come with a peace offering.”

“See, I told you,” the female said. The male frowned but nodded, pulling out a pair of futuristic handcuffs. The metal semicircles touched my wrists and an energy beam connected the 2 parts, sealing my wrists. “We will escort you to Talescria.” The man pushed me forward and through an automatically opening door. 

 

As we stepped out of the interrogation room there were more than a few blue people watching me. Apparently I was quite the news. A real life Viltrumite on the planet, not only that but a captured one, they could sell tickets for people to see me.

These and dozens of other worlds were populated by people pushed away from their own homes by the Viltrumites. A long time ago, when Viltrumites were in their heyday, they had pushed most every civilized planet to the brink of extinction. I didn’t blame the anger they directed my way. Viltrumites had killed billions, if not trillions of people.

 

Escorted out of the building I wasn’t exactly sure where Cath was, but he could figure it out. Since he didn’t look anything like me they would probably give him a grand tour. With luck maybe they would help him, but I wasn’t going to hold my breath. These people were far too scared of 1 Viltrumite to risk upsetting the fake-empire the Viltrumite’s pretended to have. 

 

“Where are we going?” I asked as we stepped out of the building. Around us were giant buildings, but ahead was a wide platform. I thought maybe I saw a spaceship up where the top of the elevator platform stopped, but wasn’t sure. 

 

“Talescria, if they want you. We will-” The woman said, but was cut off. 

 

“Don’t talk to it,” the male said. “He is a Viltrumite. He’s lucky we aren’t cutting him up to make sure he doesn’t escape.”

“Or you’re lucky I’m not shooting lasers out of my eyes and tearing you limb from limb,” I said. 

 

“You can’t do that,” the man said. After a long pause he added, “Can you?” 

“Maybe,” I said with a shrug. I had some Viltrumite, or at least a form for them. I wasn’t exactly sure what I could do. The villains of the universe could fly, survive in space, had super strength, immunity to most heat and cold, and grew thick mustaches. I was sure there were other powers but I didn’t know them all. I was getting excited to find out what I could do. 

 

We walked onto the large platform. My 2 escorts more than a little nervous so close to me. I wasn’t sure why there wasn’t more security around me, but as I noticed more people watching, I guessed they expected me to kill these 2 at any moment. They probably drew the short straw for interrogating me, or someone wanted them dead. These 2 didn’t appear to know that though.

 

As the platform stopped we ended up on a large building. A few spaceships sitting on top of the building there was a large one with a few other guards standing at the large opening at the back. They stood at attention as we approached. 

 

“The Viltrumite is going on the ship?” One of the blue dudes asked. 

“Yes, he can go with the others for his trial,” the male cop said, pushing me forward. I peeked into the back of the large ship. It looked like a prisoner transfer. There was a huge tentacle monster held in a metal cage. Another being that resembled a big headed velociraptor snapped at me. A green man with muscles as big as my body smiled wide at me, flexing his arm. 

“I’m not…gonna be back there with these guys, am I?” I asked. The 4 blue people looked at me as if I said something crazy. All of their Haki’s told me that I would indeed be riding with other prisoners. I had hoped for an escort. Not a magic school bus trip with the suicide squad. 

“Yeah, that’s not going to work,” I said. Before the 4 officers could say anything I shot 4 streaks of electricity out of my body. Each streak slammed into them making them spasm and fall. I charged my wrists with electricity and the energy beam holding my hands short circuited.

 

Running away from the ship I made it for one of the smaller ones on the large platform. The back open, it was the type that had snatched me up. Running inside I knocked a female officer out. Moving to the controls an alarm began to blare as I studied the controls. Buttons everywhere there was a joystick at the seat, lights going off everywhere, some type of display that I didn’t know how the hell to read. 

I forgot I didn’t know how to fly a spaceship. As another ship landed in front of me and began to scream orders at me I pictured being shot down before I even left the planet. That didn’t sound too appealing so I did the only thing I could. 

“World Escape,” I said and it all went black. 

 

—

Back in the Red Room I looked around. “I’m still locked to just 2 worlds,” I said. “I could go to Marvel and learn to fly the Blackbird after joining the X-Men. But…I need to get laid.” I wasn’t about to push myself on Anne just because I was horny. Without Tabi to yell at me I walked out and hit the Smut room. Looking around I felt my new World Lasting Physique body.

I was strong, far stronger than I had been in a long while. My skin was tougher, muscles were thick, and I had a pretty good grasp on my abilities. I wanted to go to the Hero World to kick some Sentry ass, but no. I had other concerns for the time being. I could go to Domination world and have some fun, but the girls needed to go to school. I wasn’t about to go to a world where rape wasn’t a word, especially not when it had been over 6 months since I had a woman last. No, for now I needed some guiltless fun. 

 

I stepped into the Apocalypse world and it all went black. 

 

I came to in Dr. Nell’s office. Sitting on the couch the buxom blonde was passed out next to me. She had just recently told me that my blood and semen was the only way a bunker of a dozen girls would be able to stay conscious after the apocalypse afflicted the world. A side effect for the cryosleep, the thawing serum used was only temporary unless I intervened. At the moment if I were to die, all of these girls would die. It was my job to stick around and help them find a cure. 

 

Tapping the doctor’s cheek she mumbled at me. “Hey, want me to take you to bed?” I asked. She groaned and turned over as the pain hit me. My once weak body bulged with muscle as the World Lasting Physique took effect. Ignoring the immense pain I waited for it to pass and got up. Dressing quickly I stared at the bunker door. 

 

Behind the door were a dozen women. Ranging in age from 17 to 22 I knew all of them by name, but that was about it. They all had lives, hopes, and dreams that I knew nothing about. Each had left behind family and loved ones that were dead, long dead. I let out a sigh. 

 

“What the fuck am I doing?” I asked. “Now I feel like Anissa.” 

Anissa in Invincible world had been on my mind as of late. It really hadn’t been 6 months since I got laid because I had her for a short amount of time. I had felt practically required to have sex with her. My last way of trying to attack the Viltrumite, it had been a desperate move that paid off. Yet I felt wrong about it. Maybe not raped, but I did feel uncomfortable about what happened. 

 

She had been prone to bouts of lust when we interacted. Maybe so long away from her people or something else had set her off, but I didn’t want to turn into that. Maybe I was changing. I was starting to think maybe Tabi was right. I was focusing on sex too much. The act itself at least. 

 

My libido was high, but it wasn’t a throbbing ache like it had been with the Chikyugi, more of an annoyance. I needed to reign it in a little. These smut worlds were great for quests, but I was starting to think I should really focus on quality over quantity. Maybe monogamy wasn’t so bad, or at least bigonamy, or tri…ether way maybe I had made the wrong choices lately. 

 

In this world I wasn’t some ignored weeb that was getting revenge on people that didn’t give me the time of day. I was a normal kid, thrown into as much of a hell as all of these girls. For all we knew we were the only people that made it. The world was scary. The last thing these girls needed was me telling them how life was going to be. They were stuck with me, or forced to be alone. 

 

Even after so long doing this, I had to be reminded that these were real worlds. Real people with real problems. Yes this world leaned more toward sex, but I didn’t have to let it control me. I could let sex and my life happen, not force it to happen. 

 

Annoyed at my own sudden bout of a conscience I picked Dr. Nell up. Her room next to the med bay, she had a full-size bed in her quarters with a few amenities. Annoyed I laid her down and sat next to her. Thinking and practicing my Nen as the hours ticked away. 

 

—

 

“You can’t be serious,” Chloe said slackjacked. She had long blonde hair tied back in a braid. Basically a mathlete, she had been the valedictorian of one of the top high schools of the country. She had also tried out for the olympics but barely missed the cut in the 100-meter dash. At 19 years old she and every other person’s life in the bunker had been turned upside down when it was found out the world was ending. 

 

“I am serious,” Dr. Nell said. We were in the communal area. Sofas and chairs facing a large TV it had been built for 30 people, but there were plenty of spots open. The girls were gathered up for the announcement. Dr. Nell and I stood in front of the television. 

I kept a placid look on my face. My resolve the night before had whittled away a little, staring at the gorgeous women around me. This was a smut world, every one of them was impossibly gorgeous. Crazy colored hair like blue and pink, large racks, hour-glass bodies, it was hard to keep my mind on track with all of them staring at me, but I had made the correct choice. 

Each girl was considered the best of the best. Hell even I was smart in this world or I wouldn’t have been picked to try to keep our race going. If I had tried my original tactic of trying to seduce all of them, I doubt it would have worked. Granted I was their only male choice, but they could always go lesbian if they wanted. 

 

No, I had to take things slow with this world. We needed to work on a serum where I was no longer needed to keep them out of cryosleep. Also, we had to figure out what happened to the rest of the world and people that were put into cryosleep. Hancock should have been in the world, so I was sure we weren’t alone. I just needed time to figure it all out. 

 

Dr. Nell and I had sex again that morning so my libido wasn’t as raging. Surrounded by the Apocalypse’s Next Top Model, they were all better to stare at than frogmen, so my world was looking up. Dr. Nell had just explained to them the current situation and our own plans to combat it. Looking around the girls were taking the news better than expected. 

“So we have to have sex with you?” Chloe asked, turning to me. 

“No,” I said. “We still don’t know if blood or…semen is the most effective way to combat the complications of the cryosleep thawing agent. I have O-Negative blood, so I am a universal donor. If you would prefer, Dr. Nell is working out how much of my blood it would take to offset the lowering temperature of your bodies.” 

“This takes time though,” Dr. Nell said. “Weston can only donate a pint every 2 weeks. I can synthesize it and stretch this blood out to provide for everyone, but you have to remember we are isolated. There is no storage shed out back with these chemicals, or store to buy them at. We have what we have, and when it is gone it would probably be decades before we can create these chemicals again. Outside these walls we are stuck in the Stone Age.” 

“I think we all understand that,” Kyra said. She had dark black skin and dark purple hair. High cheek bones, angular eyes, she was the most exotic of the women. I was fairly certain she was a model before this event. “We are alone.” 

“I don’t think you do,” Dr. Nell said. Letting out a sigh her Haki leaked sadness. “I have kept this situation secret from all of you, because in the scheme of things it is a blip on the radar of the problems we are facing. This facility was built with power generators and solar arrays. Most of which have failed. We are running on battery power and the few solar panels you have been able to get running again. All of the sensors that were supposed to tell us the conditions on the surface had failed. There could literally be anything out there. The few animals we have seen have been mostly harmless, but they have all changed from what we are used to. We are no longer the top of the food chain.”

 

“Nuclear war, famine, radiation leaks, chemical spills, meteors, earthquakes, tsunamis, ice ages. Any and all of these could have happened while we were asleep. I don’t even know if it really has been 8,000 years since we were put into cryosleep. And we have to figure it out. Not only for the prosperity of our species, but our own lives. If all of us stay down here we have enough power to last 2 weeks. We have plenty of food, but we need to start venturing to the surface more.” 

She turned to me, reaching out her hand I grabbed it. “And yes, on top of all that we have to worry about falling unconscious if we do not take in Weston’s fluids at least once a week. Where it is unsafe to take too much blood from him, it seems even a small amount of his semen is enough to offset the side effects of the cryosleep thawing agent. Saliva and most likely sweat will help stave it off as well. I have begun collecting some, but I would appreciate help.” 

 

She actually said the words with a straight face. I wasn’t sure how she did it. How she was so objective about all this, but as the only real adult, I assumed that she felt she had to. Her Haki was almost indifferent as she explained all of this. But deep down I could feel that she was scared. Scared of the outside world and what she was asking of us.  

 

“Goddamn it,” Chloe mumbled, her head in her hands. “When I signed up for this shit, I knew it was going to be hard. But not only are we alone, underground, our entire race possibly dead, but we have to get pregnant too? Bring kids into the world when we don’t have a safe home for them to live?”

 

“Taking in fluids orally works as well,” Dr. Nell said.

“Oh great, so the only guy here gets a blowjob a day from one of us,” Chloe said, her words practically dripping with venom. 

I felt my annoyance rise. Grinding my teeth I was about to say something when Dr. Nell stepped up, staring down at Chloe as her voice became cold. “Cut the shit. I know everything about each of you. Your psyche evaluations, medical history, family history, all of it. The one thing that all of us had in common? We were afraid to die. I know some of you are fooling yourselves, saying you did this for some noble bullshit reason, but that is what it came down to. Fear.” 

 

“We have been given a chance here. A chance to become the foundation of this world. There are other bunkers out there. And with luck, people that survived the cataclysm. But for now, we have to use every resource we have available to us to give us a leg up in this new world. Though it will be tough, I know we can do it.” 

Chloe and the other girls calming down she stepped back. Pointing at me she added, “This is not Weston’s fault. In all honesty we are lucky that any of us survived. This was all experimental. None of it was tested, but it succeeded. Most of us woke up. So what I need you all to do is stop whining about what the world used to be like, and start thanking whoever you believe in that we made it here. The situation isn’t ideal, but if we work together we can make it through this.”

 

The room was silent as they slowly absorbed the news. “How will we proceed?” Alice asked. She was supposedly from Europe but I didn’t catch an accent. 

“Which part?” Dr. Nell asked. 

“All of it,” Alice said. “I assume we must venture outside more. Map out the area. See what the world has to offer. But with this new development…” She blushed eyeing me. “Who is at risk of fainting first? Will we have to do daily checks? Groups receiving semen all at once so they can spend the most time outside? What will we do?” 

“I do not know,” Dr. Nell admitted. “We will just have to figure it out…” And it went on. The more the talk continued the more awkward I felt, and the more I was ready to leave. Why did I have to ruin my vacation with this drama?